Hypo

[jackseven]

Ok for you gumshoes out there, try not to read anything into this.

Ok so I used to have a crush on this girl in undergrad at UTSA. I've started taking online courses for my masters at OLLU. It's required every other week, we go in and meet with the instructor in person. So I go in and my instructor is the same girl. She recognizes me instantly and smiles shyly. I'm embarrassed. This girl turned me down three seperate times. I was basically faced. So the whole thing is awkward and lasts 20 minutes. Still, I find myself with the same attraction I did 5 years ago. Do I risk another smash and ask her out next meeting or keep it strictly platonic and just blush for 20 minutes every two weeks?

Thoughts appreciated. No barbs please. I can't take much punishment. My heart is heavy of fondness and rejection softens me up.

[Mr. Peabody]

Ok for you gumshoes out there, try not to read anything into this.

Ok so I used to have a crush on this girl in undergrad at UTSA. I've started taking online courses for my masters at OLLU. It's required every other week, we go in and meet with the instructor in person. So I go in and my instructor is the same girl. She recognizes me instantly and smiles shyly. I'm embarrassed. This girl turned me down three seperate times. I was basically faced. So the whole thing is awkward and lasts 20 minutes. Still, I find myself with the same attraction I did 5 years ago. Do I risk another smash and ask her out next meeting or keep it strictly platonic and just blush for 20 minutes every two weeks?

Thoughts appreciated. No barbs please. I can't take much punishment. My heart is heavy of fondness and rejection softens me up.

The way I look at these things is that you only live once and you like her, so why not. I would wait until later on though. If you lay it out there now and she shoots you down, the rest of the semester may be awkward.

[ChumpDumper]

This will never work unless she sees you with another woman who is really into you.

[exstatic]

She's sent you down in flames...three times. Figure it out, and get on with your life. Continuing to chase the un-gettable is a waste of your time.

[ShoogarBear]

You probably has very little chance of being successful, and it could end up screwing the $$ you dropped for the course.

Did you really not know she was the instructor when you signed up?

[Mr. Peabody]

This will never work unless she sees you with another woman who is really into you.

Either that or unless he joins a band. Chicks dig guys that are in bands. Or he could grow a mean mustache and show her just how much testosterone pumps though his testicles.

[Castor Troy]

go for broke yo!!! what do you have to lose??? lifes a risk and you should never pass up an oppurtunity trust me on that one

[MannyIsGod]

Do it - Get rejected - report back.

[Spurminator]

I wish I knew how to help, but the chicks usually ask me out...

[j-6]

If you get rejected - again - you have two weeks to come up with a way to save face before you have to see her next. Go for it.

[monosylab1k]

stuff a sock in your underwear

[Extra Stout]

Ok for you gumshoes out there, try not to read anything into this.

Ok so I used to have a crush on this girl in undergrad at UTSA. I've started taking online courses for my masters at OLLU. It's required every other week, we go in and meet with the instructor in person. So I go in and my instructor is the same girl. She recognizes me instantly and smiles shyly. I'm embarrassed. This girl turned me down three seperate times. I was basically faced. So the whole thing is awkward and lasts 20 minutes. Still, I find myself with the same attraction I did 5 years ago. Do I risk another smash and ask her out next meeting or keep it strictly platonic and just blush for 20 minutes every two weeks?

Thoughts appreciated. No barbs please. I can't take much punishment. My heart is heavy of fondness and rejection softens me up.
She's not interested. The "shy" smile gives it away. If she were into you, she'd be all chatty. It was 5 years ago. Get on with life.

[thispego]

ace her fuckin class, study it day and night, memorize it, know it better than she does. act like you're a genius at everything else too and she will want you for your brains.

it's only worth it if she's really hot

[Mr. Peabody]

Look man. I fucking hate the movie Jerry Maguire. I think it's just Tom Cruise acting like Tom Cruise, like he does in every film he is in. However, there is one redeeming thing about that piece of shit movie and that's Jerry Cantrell. The guy only had one line in the movie, but it's one of the greatest lines I've ever heard in cinema. It occurs when Maguire is making copies of his treatise and the copy guy played by Cantrell says the following -

"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there."

And that's what you should do. Don't listen to these passive fuckers telling you not to act. Hang your balls out there man.

[Mike Damone]

Next time you walk into the room - I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.

[Mike Damone]

Once you secure the date, follow my Five Point Plan.

First of all jackseven, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."

Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."

Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"

Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."

And five, now this is the most important, jackseven. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

[tlongII]

Dude, you are hosed. She felt superior to you 5 years ago. Now that she's your instructor her dominance has only increased. I think you should drop the class.

[jackseven]

Ok brahs, give me some feedback on this. I've got another week before I go back and meet with her and I'm thinking about pulling a high risk, high reward move. Ok here goes.

Next time I go in for my meeting, I load up my portable boom box stereo player with $10 worth of D batteries and play an interpretive song that reveals my feelings towards her. Girls love songs. If this one is one she likes, I could be in. So yeah, just press play right before I open the door and just let the music march me right in the room. If she tries to utter a vowel, I put my finger in front of my lips ala Derek Fisher for the shhhh sound.

And I just stand there and let the lyrics work their magic into her heart. 3-4 minutes later, I'm either a guy that has 16 minutes left in his research evaluation or a guy that has 16 minutes left in his research evaluation AND a romantic ambiance by chance at the Tower of Americas. ;)

I might do it. I feel like taking a chance like a few of you suggested. Thanks for that.

Now, hmmm... which song should I go with?

Here's my thoughts right now:

The Way I are
Traveling Man
Amarillo by Morning
That's How I got to Memphis

or my personal fave - She's a Lady by Mr. Tom Jones.

Thoughts? Suggestions on this?

[jackseven]

Once you secure the date, follow my Five Point Plan.

First of all jackseven, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."

Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."

Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"

Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."

And five, now this is the most important, jackseven. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.


This is good sauce. I like the confidence that says I am Drackforth, here me roar. My endorphins are up, I've got good wine flowing. I feel unstoppable right now.

MY APARTMENT CAN'T HOLD ME! :elephant

[Extra Stout]

Ok brahs, give me some feedback on this. I've got another week before I go back and meet with her and I'm thinking about pulling a high risk, high reward move. Ok here goes.

Next time I go in for my meeting, I load up my portable boom box stereo player with $10 worth of D batteries and play an interpretive song that reveals my feelings towards her. Girls love songs. If this one is one she likes, I could be in. So yeah, just press play right before I open the door and just let the music march me right in the room. If she tries to utter a vowel, I put my finger in front of my lips ala Derek Fisher for the shhhh sound.

And I just stand there and let the lyrics work their magic into her heart. 3-4 minutes later, I'm either a guy that has 16 minutes left in his research evaluation or a guy that has 16 minutes left in his research evaluation AND a romantic ambiance by chance at the Tower of Americas. ;)

I might do it. I feel like taking a chance like a few of you suggested. Thanks for that.

Now, hmmm... which song should I go with?

Here's my thoughts right now:

The Way I are
Traveling Man
Amarillo by Morning
That's How I got to Memphis

or my personal fave - She's a Lady by Mr. Tom Jones.

Thoughts? Suggestions on this?
Oh, I understand now. This is like one of those Fresh Prince threads.

[Mr. Peabody]

Next time I go in for my meeting, I load up my portable boom box stereo player with $10 worth of D batteries and play an interpretive song that reveals my feelings towards her. Girls love songs. If this one is one she likes, I could be in. So yeah, just press play right before I open the door and just let the music march me right in the room. If she tries to utter a vowel, I put my finger in front of my lips ala Derek Fisher for the shhhh sound.

And I just stand there and let the lyrics work their magic into her heart.

Thoughts? Suggestions on this?

It might work.

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/060907/13135__say_anythiing_l.jpg

Or you could wait until her dad is indicted for tax fraud and ripping off the elderly, then you could fly away with her to Europe.

[Extra Stout]

Just walk up to her and start licking her face. Chicks dig that.

[jackseven]

Just walk up to her and start licking her face. Chicks dig that.

Hey man don't be jealous because you don't have the intestinal fortitude to pull something like this off. If this works, it could be epical.

[monosylab1k]

wear loose pants and no underwear. while you're meeting with her, let your pants "accidentally" fall off. she'll see your dick and immediately want to fuck. it worked for the Milf Hunter, I'm sure it'll work for you.

[Kori Ellis]

:lmao

[Extra Stout]

Hey man don't be jealous because you don't have the intestinal fortitude to pull something like this off. If this works, it could be epical.
I think your plan will bring her to tears, partly from her trying to stifle laughter, and partly from the mixture of sadness and pity she will feel, knowing that there is a man out there who would try something so downright gay a full five years after she already shot him down three times.

I see a restraining order in your future.

[jackseven]

:music

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_lOuqH9MnPg&feature=related

Listen to this song flow off your computer. This prof doesn't stand a chance.

I'm going to be struttin my ass all the way up that waste of air space.

[jackseven]

I think your plan will bring her to tears, partly from her trying to stifle laughter, and partly from the mixture of sadness and pity she will feel, knowing that there is a man out there who would try something so downright gay a full five years after she already shot him down three times.

I see a restraining order in your future.

You know I probably shouldn't dismiss you. Despite your negativity, I bet you have the experience and mocha intangibles necessary to foresee any pitfalls and landmines, but I already know its a risk.

Being 4'8'' 255 has got to give you the character building lessons necessary to not even flinch when you slide in your number when you hand your cash to the Wal-Mart cashier.

[Extra Stout]

You know I probably shouldn't dismiss you. Despite your negativity, I bet you have the experience and mocha intangibles necessary to foresee any pitfalls and landmines, but I already know its a risk.

Being 4'8'' 255 has got to give you the character building lessons necessary to not even flinch when you slide in your number when you hand your cash to the Wal-Mart cashier.
When was your last date?

[baseline bum]

If it was me, I'd just sit in the front row and lick my eyebrow.

[Extra Stout]

Apply some chrome strips and spinner rims to your '89 Grand Am. Chicks dig men with cool rides.

[tlongII]

Good luck with your plan. You are doomed to catastrophic failure, but good luck anyway.

[jackseven]

When was your last date?

4 1/2 years ago my Aunt set me up with a blind date. I think it was going ok, she gave me her email address and everything. But I emailed her a couple of times and she never replied. I think I wrote it down wrong. Her last name was really long and I couldn't just keep guessing it because I wasn't sure if there was an underscore. Plus it was one of those that ended in random numbers.

[jackseven]

Good luck with your plan. You are doomed to catastrophic failure, but good luck anyway.

I really respect your opinion here. You take a lot of gravy from the other posters and are pretty strong. Maybe you're right. Maybe I shouldn't pursue this.

It could be disasterish.

[Extra Stout]

4 1/2 years ago my Aunt set me up with a blind date. I think it was going ok, she gave me her email address and everything. But I emailed her a couple of times and she never replied. I think I wrote it down wrong. Her last name was really long and I couldn't just keep guessing it because I wasn't sure if there was an underscore. Plus it was one of those that ended in random numbers.
OK, I'm sorry I doubted your suaveness.

[jackseven]

OK, I'm sorry I doubted your suaveness.

I think you are being sarcastic. I don't really feel like anybody has supported my endeavors but Mr. Peabody.

In thinking democratically, I think I'll just call all this off and go back to browsing eharmony and myspace.

Reba McEntire once said the heart is a loney hunter.

It sure is Reba, it sure is.

[pussyface.]

just go to Starbucks with a copy of All The Pretty Horses. that gets chicks like bees to honey. the occasional dude too.

[Extra Stout]

I think you are being sarcastic. I don't really feel like anybody has supported my endeavors but Mr. Peabody.

In thinking democratically, I think I'll just call all this off and go back to browsing eharmony and myspace.

Reba McEntire once said the heart is a loney hunter.

It sure is Reba, it sure is.
To be honest, I can't tell if you're being serious or not. This could be some elaborate form of forum theater. It seems akin to the work of Sacha Baron Cohen.

[Extra Stout]

Have you considered bringing a puppy with you to your next meeting? Chicks like puppies. Kittens too. But she might be allergic.

[jackseven]

Have you considered bringing a puppy with you to your next meeting? Chicks like puppies. Kittens too. But she might be allergic.

This is a fantastic idea. I only have a cat, but a puppy couldn't hurt. I just might do this one. Very transparent, but could work.

Thanks extra!

[jackseven]

What is the best kind of puppy to get?

[Extra Stout]

What is the best kind of puppy to get?
Yellow lab. Definitely. You'll need to purchase a house with a big backyard for the dog to run around in. You should bring up the house, and mention how many bedrooms it has for all the children you are planning on having. Be sure to ask her how many children she wants to have. Very transparent, but she'll get the message.

[Extra Stout]

Rub your crotch and moan while she is talking to you.

[thispego]

ace her fuckin class, study it day and night, memorize it, know it better than she does. act like you're a genius at everything else too and she will want you for your brains.

it's only worth it if she's really hot
this will work :tu

[Extra Stout]

this will work :tu
What if she wants him for his body?

[CuckingFunt]

I bet you have the experience and mocha intangibles
:lmao

[tlongII]

I really respect your opinion here. You take a lot of gravy from the other posters and are pretty strong. Maybe you're right. Maybe I shouldn't pursue this.

It could be disasterish.


The key is the gravy. That and the biscuits.

[Shelly]

Look man. I fucking hate the movie Jerry Maguire. I think it's just Tom Cruise acting like Tom Cruise, like he does in every film he is in. However, there is one redeeming thing about that piece of shit movie and that's Jerry Cantrell. The guy only had one line in the movie, but it's one of the greatest lines I've ever heard in cinema. It occurs when Maguire is making copies of his treatise and the copy guy played by Cantrell says the following -

"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there."

And that's what you should do. Don't listen to these passive fuckers telling you not to act. Hang your balls out there man.

Jerry Cantrell was in Jerry Maguire?? I may have to re-watch this just for him!

[Extra Stout]

:lmao
I don't know what a mocha intangible is. Do you get that by working at Starbucks?

[CuckingFunt]

I don't know what a mocha intangible is. Do you get that by working at Starbucks?
I think it's one of their Barista merit badges.

[Extra Stout]

I think it's one of their Barista merit badges.
Dammit I want one to impress the cashier at Wal-Mart.

[Extra Stout]

Her shirt's too small because otherwise I think they'd have to special order it, so the buttons pucker in front and you can see some of the skin on her stomach. That makes me all hot.

[CuckingFunt]

Her shirt's too small because otherwise I think they'd have to special order it, so the buttons pucker in front and you can see some of the skin on her stomach. That makes me all hot.
The button pucker is only acceptable when it happens in the breastular area, and even then should be avoided.

[CuckingFunt]

Her shirt's too small because otherwise I think they'd have to special order it, so the buttons pucker in front and you can see some of the skin on her stomach. That makes me all hot.
Alternate smart ass reply:

Sounds like she's already had enough mocha intangibles.

[Extra Stout]

The button pucker is only acceptable when it happens in the breastular area, and even then should be avoided.
I just want to tell her that I could get lost in her rolls... and could probably live in there for weeks with all the food particles that get caught.

[Extra Stout]

I'm writing her a poem with eleven reasons I want her... one reason for each of her teeth.

[CuckingFunt]

I'm writing her a poem with eleven reasons I want her... one reason for each of her teeth.
She sounds like a winner.

You should play her some music.

While licking her face.

[Extra Stout]

The button pucker is only acceptable when it happens in the breastular area, and even then should be avoided.
You know, I'm only 4'8". I can't see up that high.

[Extra Stout]

She sounds like a winner.

You should play her some music.

While licking her face.
I did try that once before. I didn't get a date, but I am banned from the Home Depot now.

[CuckingFunt]

You know, I'm only 4'8". I can't see up that high.
I know he meant that as an insult, but I can think of a few distinct advantages of dating someone only 4'8".

[CuckingFunt]

I did try that once before. I didn't get a date, but I am banned from the Home Depot now.
You must have picked the wrong song.

[Leetonidas]

Ok brahs, give me some feedback on this. I've got another week before I go back and meet with her and I'm thinking about pulling a high risk, high reward move. Ok here goes.

Next time I go in for my meeting, I load up my portable boom box stereo player with $10 worth of D batteries and play an interpretive song that reveals my feelings towards her. Girls love songs. If this one is one she likes, I could be in. So yeah, just press play right before I open the door and just let the music march me right in the room. If she tries to utter a vowel, I put my finger in front of my lips ala Derek Fisher for the shhhh sound.

And I just stand there and let the lyrics work their magic into her heart. 3-4 minutes later, I'm either a guy that has 16 minutes left in his research evaluation or a guy that has 16 minutes left in his research evaluation AND a romantic ambiance by chance at the Tower of Americas. ;)

I might do it. I feel like taking a chance like a few of you suggested. Thanks for that.

Now, hmmm... which song should I go with?

Here's my thoughts right now:

The Way I are
Traveling Man
Amarillo by Morning
That's How I got to Memphis

or my personal fave - She's a Lady by Mr. Tom Jones.

Thoughts? Suggestions on this?
:lmao

Oh wow.

[thispego]

What if she wants him for his body?
then there is no problem

[jackseven]

Ok guys thanks for hijacking. I need help not anticdotes between Stout and Cuck.

Kori, Exstatic... anythoughts?

If my tides don't turn, I'm going to end up sobbing to the Polish Prince again.

[jackseven]

For those of you who are less cultured, the PP = Bobby Vinton. If you don't know his most famous song, then your on you're own.

[exstatic]

Don't play her any Bobby Vinton. Other than that, I have no advice for someone chasing a fourth time.

[E20]

wear loose pants and no underwear. while you're meeting with her, let your pants "accidentally" fall off. she'll see your dick and immediately want to fuck. it worked for the Milf Hunter, I'm sure it'll work for you.
That's fucking hilarious.

[John Conner]

tell her about your bad beat, some women find impecuniousness attractive

[Extra Stout]

Ok guys thanks for hijacking. I need help not anticdotes between Stout and Cuck.

Kori, Exstatic... anythoughts?

If my tides don't turn, I'm going to end up sobbing to the Polish Prince again.
It's a heck of a predicament. Usually, wisdom would suggest rather than putting on a production with music and histrionics, you should strike up a conversation, and be charming and witty, so that she would want to continue the banter over a meal.

But clearly three times that hasn't worked, so you must not have been witty or charming, or able to hold a conversation with her very well. Perhaps your social skills have expanded in the past five years? I mean, one of your posts made CuckingFunt laugh, and even though she doesn't go for men so much, she is female. So that's something.

The whole musical idea is more weird and creepy as opposed to charming and witty. Or is she like totally into music, or one of those emos who would get off on that?

Just be careful. If she rejects you a fourth time, that's a sweep.

[ShoogarBear]

If it was me, I'd just sit in the front row and lick my eyebrow.Not everybody has an eyebrow that curls down the side of their face into their mouth.

[ShoogarBear]

And I think thispego has the only idea that has even an infinitesimal chance of working.

[CuckingFunt]

I mean, one of your posts made CuckingFunt laugh, and even though she doesn't go for men so much, she is female.
The Funt goes for men.

Just to clarify.

[thispego]

And I think thispego has the only idea that has even an infinitesimal chance of working.
yep, i know how to bamboozle women into falling in love :oink