GAG! I hate flowery bathroom spray

[CosmicCowboy]

Apparently my secretary decided to drop a load right before she went home and then topped it off with about a half a can of some god awful lilac scented bathroom spray. The whole front of my office reeks. Fuck! I have my office door closed but it's still seeping in through the cracks. Whoever decided that some cloyingly sweet artificial flower smell was GOOD mixed with shit smell? And what the hell has that woman been eating? I;ve known 300 pound football players whose turds didn't smell that bad! FUCK! *hack*cough*

[Boris]

Shit happens.

[GINNNNNNNNNNNNOBILI]

What?? I thought Girls don't poop

[Mixability]

Mr. John Wayne would never say "Gag".

[florige]

Apparently my secretary decided to drop a load right before she went home and then topped it off with about a half a can of some god awful lilac scented bathroom spray. The whole front of my office reeks. Fuck! I have my office door closed but it's still seeping in through the cracks. Whoever decided that some cloyingly sweet artificial flower smell was GOOD mixed with shit smell? And what the hell has that woman been eating? I;ve known 300 pound football players whose turds didn't smell that bad! FUCK! *hack*cough*



:lol Just pull up some of that cash to your nose. That always smells good.

[thispego]

if she's your employee tell her to change her diet.. and wear shorter skirts

[CosmicCowboy]

double gag!

I hire her because she's damned efficient. She's also fat, ugly, and mean as a rattlesnake. I'll pass on the short skirt, thank you.

[CosmicCowboy]

That was probably a fermented turkey turd she's been saving since Thanksgiving just to stink up the office on my first day back.

[thispego]

double gag!

I hire her because she's damned efficient. She's also fat, ugly, and mean as a rattlesnake. I'll pass on the short skirt, thank you.
:lmao
maybe you should have her work out of her home then

[CavsSuperFan]

I have this image of Mimi laughing her head off thinking of the next prank she will play on Cosmic... If it were me, I would stock up on some vanilla scented candles for the bathroom...
http://www.rateitall.com/itemimages/54886.jpg

[Shelly]

You need to leave some matches in the bathroom.

[CosmicCowboy]

You need to leave some matches in the bathroom.

LOL that works. Guess you've had a lot of experience smell fighting with the boys, huh?

[tlongII]

The best way to combat that is to go in there and drop a load of your own on top of it. Everybody likes the smell of their own shit.

[sa_butta]

Is your office that close to the bathroom??

[tlongII]

Is your office that close to the bathroom??

Actually I believe CC's office is the bathroom.

[CosmicCowboy]

The bathroom in question is hers in her office. There is another room between my office and her office.

[Shelly]

LOL that works. Guess you've had a lot of experience smell fighting with the boys, huh?

:lol Actually, I learned that trick from my dad! You don't want to be any where near the bathroom after he goes in! But at least he warns us :lol

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

It's a scientific fact that fatter people have stinkier turds.

Moral of the story: never hire a fat girl to do a skinny girl's job, no matter how 'efficient' she might be. A thin woman is (a) much better to look at eight hours a day and (b) won't stink up your bathroom with a turd that's been slowly working it's way through her intestines for the past two weeks.

Cosmic shared a valuable lesson today that I hope the rest of us can all learn from. :tu

[Sapphire]

That's BS. I work with some thin women who could curl your nostril hair with their stench. They don't make enough Febreze to cover that. Thank God the bathroom is across the hall, and I can always change my mind at the last minute about going in--if I get a whiff before I make the turn, my ass is outta there. I can hold it as long as necessary. And I'm one of those that CAN'T take a crap at work. Don't ask me why--but I will not shit at work. OK. that's TMI. :p:

[Shelly]

Matches, people. Matches. That's the only thing that will cut the stench. Sometimes, you may have to light the whole book or enough to set off the fire alarms, but we're talking your nostrils here.

[Shelly]

That's BS. I work with some thin women who could curl your nostril hair with their stench. They don't make enough Febreze to cover that. Thank God the bathroom is across the hall, and I can always change my mind at the last minute about going in--if I get a whiff before I make the turn, my ass is outta there. I can hold it as long as necessary. And I'm one of those that CAN'T take a crap at work. Don't ask me why--but I will not shit at work. OK. that's TMI. :p:

Women's public bathrooms are the worst smelling places in the world. Especially in department stores. They're always humid and stink like poop and/or old lady perfume.

[curtismedellin]

like Dave Attel says NOTHING beats ass!

[ashbeeigh]

:lmao at the story.


At my office we spray the apple feebreeze and it smells like girly shit and apples. It's ridiculous and stinky.

I remember seeing an Oust commercial that said Oust kills poop odor better then feebreze because Oust kills the poop odor in the air and the febreeze doesn't, if you're looking for a better smelling odor control, CC.

[Slydragon]

http://networkgeek.org/~dave/port1.jpg

Tell her something is wrong with the indoor ones from now on this would be the new rest room.

Also do women really think there craps do not smell?
A guy takes a crap and when done knows to close the door when he leaves and if they know it's bad they do it fast. Women seem to leave it wide open like there is no smell what so ever. We may not put the lid down but we fight the smell like crazy.

[Slydragon]

oops I forgot you said she is big here is what you need then.

http://www.taylorsseptic.com/images/portable-potty-tn.jpg

[Shelly]

oops I forgot you said she is big here is what you need then.

http://www.taylorsseptic.com/images/portable-potty-tn.jpg

:lol

Is that the double-wide of port-a-pottys?

[ShoogarBear]

As my Dad used to always yell at us, "Mix a little water with it before the end!"

[Sapphire]

As my Dad used to always yell at us, "Mix a little water with it before the end!"
Are you talking about a courtesy flush?

[mrsmaalox]

I just don't understand ladies who will use a public bathroom for, um,#2! It's just too "inflicting" on everyone else. But men will do anything, anywhere I guess. :oink

[Shelly]

I just don't understand ladies who will use a public bathroom for, um,#2! It's just too "inflicting" on everyone else. But men will do anything, anywhere I guess. :oink

Seriously--nothing's worse than when the person in the next stall is pinching a loaf, especially the old ladies who are grunting and all. I guess with age comes privelage.

And people who talk on their cell phones while using the bathroom? Hang up and call back when your're done and have washed your hands.

[Slydragon]

Seriously--nothing's worse than when the person in the next stall is pinching a loaf, especially the old ladies who are grunting and all. I guess with age comes privelage.

And people who talk on their cell phones while using the bathroom? Hang up and call back when your're done and have washed your hands.

I hate when some guys wash there hands like crazy before taking a piss and then leave without washing there hands after. I seen it allot and it's sick even more so because I work at HeB so they touch produce and stuff, pisses me off but I can't say anything.

[ashbeeigh]

And people who talk on their cell phones while using the bathroom? Hang up and call back when your're done and have washed your hands.


I cannot stand that. I feel intrusive when i pee when they're on their phone. But, then again, "Fuck you! You're in the damn bathroom!"

[ShoogarBear]

Are you talking about a courtesy flush?That's the high-falutin' way of putting it.

[mrsmaalox]

Seriously--nothing's worse than when the person in the next stall is pinching a loaf, especially the old ladies who are grunting and all. I guess with age comes privelage.
:lol Damn, girl, where do you hangout?!

[ploto]

I hate the smell of that flowery stuff even all by itself. Gives me a terrible headache.

[SpursWoman]

I hate the ladies room at work ... no matter what time of day you go in there, it always smells like someone just dropped a depth charge. It sucks.

[SpursWoman]

And Oust is just as worthless as everything else. :spin

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Reminds me of craigslist:


You are my arch nemesis. I see you wandering around as I go about my IT Computer Nerd business: Tall. Middle Eastern. Pot Belly. We catch each others eye every now and then and give each other a slight nod. I know you, I know what you do and I am on to your games.

I saw you this morning, we made eye contact. You nodded and took another bite of whatever Death-Ass producing garbage you fuel up on that makes the bathroom, smell like the inside of a dead monkey's colon, and nodded at me. I got you this time, fucker.

I give you my icy grin and nod back, then hurry back to my office. It's almost noon, and that's the time you like to run to the toilet and preform your daily ASS JIHAD on all the people just trying to wash their hands. Maybe in your country there is no common sense that would tell you that lunch time = hand wash time. People want to get clean and eat, not be fumigated with the high octane liquid shit attack you subjugate them too.

But I got you this time. Yeah fucker I GOT SOMETHING COOKING UP FOR YOU! Two egg sandwiches with cheese. Greasy sausage patties. A couple glasses of Tang. Some leftover Chinese food. A Twix. Root Beer Soda. Some steamed broccoli I had in the fridge. A Hot Pocket with pepperoni and cheese. A Chocolate Pop Tart. And like a cherry on top ... a McDonald's Quarter Pounder with cheese....

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/323013997.html

[SpursWoman]

Reminds me of craigslist:



http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/323013997.html


You read those too? OMG ... some of those are freaking hilarious. That one had me :lmao.

:tu

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

It's one of the few places where I actually laugh out loud, especially when reading the "best of" list.

Battle Asses has been one of my favorites for some time now.

[mrsmaalox]

Oooh gross! I was just channel flipping and found something on BBC America called "You Are What You Eat". Some rude, skinny english woman apparently smells fat people's poop to assess their poor diet. They bring it to her in a Tupperware!!!!!

[ShoogarBear]

Did you ever see The Road to Wellville? Anthony Hopkins spends the whole movie going around checking the consistency of people's poo.

[The sone]

Did you ever see The Road to Wellville? Anthony Hopkins spends the whole movie going around checking the consistency of people's poo.


that was based on one of the kellog brothers....corn flakes anyone?