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Hook Dem
12-28-2004, 04:49 PM
Police Dept's Office Answering Machine:

Hello, you have reached the Police Dept's Voice Mail. Pay close attention as we have

to update the choices often as new and usual circumstances arrive. Please select one

of the following options:



To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem that you created yourself,

press 1.

To inquire as to whether someone has to die before we'll do something about a problem,

press 2.

To report an officer for bad manners, when in reality the officer is trying to keep your

neighborhood safe, press 3.

If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.

If you would like us to take control of your life due to your chemical dependency

or alcohol, press 5.

If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to

deteriorate, press 6.

To provide a list of officers you personally know so we will not take enforcement

action against you, press 7.

To sue us, or tell us you pay our salary and you'll have our badge, or to proclaim our

career is over, press 8.

To whine about a ticket and/or complain about the many other uses for police rather than

keeping your dumb ass in line, press 9.

Please note your call may be monitored to assure proper customer support and remember.....

we're here to save your ass, NOT kiss it!

Thank You for calling your local police dept. and have a nice day.