old flame

[Jimcs50]

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who This morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit grayer than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to fuck off.


:p:

[tlongII]

Obviously a copy/paste. Not enough grammatical errors to be Jim's words.

[Soul_Patch]

:tu

[travis2]

Obviously a copy/paste. Not enough grammatical errors to be Jim's words.

:lol

[Jimcs50]

Obviously a copy/paste. Not enough grammatical errors to be Jim's words.


Obviously...I am still a stud.... :rolleyes

[MaNuMaNiAc]

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

That part sold you out. Ain't you a dentist? :lol

[Man of Steel]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news.

But buddy...

You may have fucked up royally.

I have an old girl friend, too.

Whenever she comes into town, we get together have lunch.

When we talk on the phone, she always complains that she has put on a few pounds.

Yeah--she did.

She went from 110-115!

Women are pretty sensitive. Your ex may have been in the same situation and have put on 5-10 pounds.

But equally as possible--

She may have simply told you that to go along with your joke!

If you really did pass this opportunity by--

YOU MAY FUCKED UP ROYALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :depressed

[CosmicCowboy]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news.

But buddy...

You may have fucked up royally.

I have an old girl friend, too.

Whenever she comes into town, we get together have lunch.

When we talk on the phone, she always complains that she has put on a few pounds.

Yeah--she did.

She went from 110-115!

Women are pretty sensitive. Your ex may have been in the same situation and have put on 5-10 pounds.

But equally as possible--

She may have simply told you that to go along with your joke!

If you really did pass this opportunity by--

YOU MAY FUCKED UP ROYALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :depressed

:lmao:lmao:lmao:lmao

That reply was funnier than Jim's joke....

Don't you know that Jims as full of shit as a Christmas turkey?

[mrsmaalox]

Whenever she comes into town, we get together have lunch.

Do you mean have lunch or "have lunch"? :eyebrows

[Jimcs50]

:lmao:lmao:lmao:lmao

That reply was funnier than Jim's joke....

Don't you know that Jims as full of shit as a Christmas turkey?



:drunk

[xrayzebra]

Obviously...I am still a stud.... :rolleyes


A legend in your own mind.......yeah baby! :hat

[Twisted_Dawg]

There is an element of dating truth to this story.

I also will receive calls from old girlfriends periodically that I have not heard from in some time. The common factor in these calls: they usually just broke up with some guy (or had a bad fight) and they are calling up some of their old boyfriends for support and to weigh their options.

[ATRAIN]

LOL you should have changed the ending!!

[Taco]

Obviously...I am still a stud.... :rolleyes

http://img110.imageshack.us/img110/985/jimfinderwu2.jpg

[Extra Stout]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news.

But buddy...

You may have fucked up royally.

I have an old girl friend, too.

Whenever she comes into town, we get together have lunch.

When we talk on the phone, she always complains that she has put on a few pounds.

Yeah--she did.

She went from 110-115!

Women are pretty sensitive. Your ex may have been in the same situation and have put on 5-10 pounds.

But equally as possible--

She may have simply told you that to go along with your joke!

If you really did pass this opportunity by--

YOU MAY FUCKED UP ROYALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :depressed
Epic fail.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

I had an ex-girlfriend from my freshman year of college called me last fall. She was always a high-strung, potty-mouthed hottie freak, but now she sounds as if she's slid all the way into crack-whore status.

She kept if we could pick up where we left off 20 years ago. She said she was planning to visit my home town in the coming weeks. I could tell she was drunk and/or high during our conversation. I told her there was a Mrs. Chopper, and she responded with "I won't tell if you won't." She told me I was the best she'd ever had, to which I responded "yeah, I hear that alot." :cooldevil

I tried to be as polite as I could but realized there may be no getting rid of this woman if I don't do something to finalize the situation...so I asked her for her email address.

The next day I emailed her a picture of Mrs. Chopper with Chopper Jr.

She emailed me back and said I had a beautiful wife and family, and that was the last I heard from her. :lol

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

BTW, she did have fat girl voice on the phone. Actually she sounded a little like one of Marge Simpson's sisters which frightened me more than a little bit.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Did someone ask "what's fat girl voice"? It's someone struggling to speak because the cellulite in their cheeks is pressing against the sides of their mouth resulting in a slightly garbled delivery...kind of like someone drowning in a pool...of their own fat.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

But these days beggars can't be choosers........

























* cue 70's porn music *

[ATRAIN]

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who This morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit grayer than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to fuck off.


:p:

I actually have a story like this except we did rekindle our relationship( oh yeah and both of us were in better shape than the first time around) and it was good for a while. However the moral of the story should be, they are an ex for a reason. The 2nd time around more than likely won't work.

[polandprzem]

Jimcs a lesbian?

[Shelly]

I had an ex-girlfriend from my freshman year of college called me last fall. She was always a high-strung, potty-mouthed hottie freak, but now she sounds as if she's slid all the way into crack-whore status.

She kept if we could pick up where we left off 20 years ago. She said she was planning to visit my home town in the coming weeks. I could tell she was drunk and/or high during our conversation. I told her there was a Mrs. Chopper, and she responded with "I won't tell if you won't." She told me I was the best she'd ever had, to which I responded "yeah, I hear that alot." :cooldevil

I tried to be as polite as I could but realized there may be no getting rid of this woman if I don't do something to finalize the situation...so I asked her for her email address.

The next day I emailed her a picture of Mrs. Chopper with Chopper Jr.

She emailed me back and said I had a beautiful wife and family, and that was the last I heard from her. :lol


And I still stand by that comment today :depressed

[Shelly]

:lol

[Mister Sinister]

Copypasta senses tingling...

[polandprzem]

http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/images/misc/sticky.gif

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

And I still stand by that comment today :depressed

:lol

[CuckingFunt]

Did someone ask "what's fat girl voice"? It's someone struggling to speak because the cellulite in their cheeks is pressing against the sides of their mouth resulting in a slightly garbled delivery...kind of like someone drowning in a pool...of their own fat.
This is one of the first things I've read here that has actually made me feel guilty for laughing as hard as I did.

[Jimcs50]

Chopper, I am glad that I made this thread, if only so you could regale us with this little story.


:)

[Mrs.Jimcs50]

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who This morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit grayer than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to fuck off.


:p:

Honey, whether it's the 7000th time or the first time I've heard that, it's always Comedic Platinum.

[Mrs.Jimcs50]

:rolleyes

[Mrs.Jimcs50]

Well, hellooooo Chopper! :eyebrows


You, too, CC.

[Jimcs50]

She was always a high-strung, potty-mouthed hottie freak, but now she sounds as if she's slid all the way into crack-whore status.

I tried to be as polite as I could but realized there may be no getting rid of this woman if I don't do something to finalize the situation...so I asked her for her email address.

The next day I emailed her a picture of Mrs. Chopper with Chopper Jr.

She emailed me back and said I had a beautiful wife and family, and that was the last I heard from her. :lol

:rolleyes



Chopper, you are acting all pious and angelic, but had this old flame looked like Demi Moore at 40, you would have sent her a picture of Rosanne Barr, told her that that was your wife, and then told her that she did not understand you and you needed someone to talk to about it.



:lol

[Jimcs50]

Well, hellooooo Chopper! :eyebrows


You, too, CC.



Trollop!