ancestron
12-13-2007, 11:06 AM
By matthew tzuker
KFBA
On the surface, today's NBA is a wholesome, family-oriented organization. The occasional brouhaha aside, parents often look to the NBA for role models for their impressionable children. But a closer look at the organization yields quite a different view--a view that parents, particularly those living in God-fearing red states, may want to consider before allowing The Association to impart its values on their children. It's not always the duty of the media to report the pleasant facts, but the diligent reporting of the KFBA has uncovered a seamy underbelly of parties, flirting with women, and, yes, even the smoking of marijuana.
According to extensive surveys and interviews, anywhere between five and ten percent of current NBA players engage--or have engaged--in marijuana smoking. Why do so many NBA players do the pot? While the answers to that question vary from individual to individual, it seems a number of common factors exist. Peer pressure from friends and teammates is an obvious factor, as is the pressure and harsh media glare that accompany modern basketball stardom.
But where can innocent young NBA players, so far removed from the excesses of drugs, wealth, and street life, "score" marijuana? We contacted Detroit Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace for comment.
"It all comes from Portland," the former Blazer said. "You ever been to Portland, man? The shit's, like, falling out of the sky. Why do you think they're called 'The Blazers?' Why do you think nobody who plays in Portland can stay out of trouble? Me and [former teammate] Bonzi [Wells] would hook up all the visiting playas with that sticky-icky Oregon home-grown. We even got John Stockton's corny ass high."
Said former Utah Jazz point guard and all-time assists leader, John Stockton, "Hells yeah I smoked on that chronic. After practice, after games, shit, before games, halftime. I just don't give a fuck. Me and [former teammate] Karl [Malone], we would blaze nonstop."
Then he yelled, "Johnny Stock in the muh'fuckin' house. Puff the blunt through the nose and blow it out yo' mouth."
The NBA, unlike the NFL, does not have random drug testing. The reason for this is unclear but the results are staggering. Marijuana has seeped into the NBA culture and has affected everything from Latrell Sprewell's hair to Michael Olowokandi's lethargy to the mere presence of Bill Walton. In fact, sources close to the NBA have told the KFBA that marijuana was first introduced to basketball players in the seventies in hopes that it would prevent Bill Walton from producing offspring. Needless to say, it did not.
Commissioner David Stern denied our request to be interviewed for this piece; however, his office sent us a letter written on a ZigZag rolling paper. The message reads as follows:
Noboty smoke weed in da NBA.
Stay out of it
Love peace and nappiness
--Sterno
So, if the commissioner's office isn't willing to clamp down, what is to be done about this mounting problem? How can the average NBA fan, who prefers to watch basketball as Mr. Naismith intended, without the accompaniment of marijuana and in the presence of children and a pastor, watch the game without the influence of those who do the pot? We suggest an aggressive letter writing campaign by NBA fans to the league and to the players. Perhaps a stern talking-to is just what these young, headstrong players need to surrender their wicked, self-destructive ways.
Either that or just let it go.
KFBA
On the surface, today's NBA is a wholesome, family-oriented organization. The occasional brouhaha aside, parents often look to the NBA for role models for their impressionable children. But a closer look at the organization yields quite a different view--a view that parents, particularly those living in God-fearing red states, may want to consider before allowing The Association to impart its values on their children. It's not always the duty of the media to report the pleasant facts, but the diligent reporting of the KFBA has uncovered a seamy underbelly of parties, flirting with women, and, yes, even the smoking of marijuana.
According to extensive surveys and interviews, anywhere between five and ten percent of current NBA players engage--or have engaged--in marijuana smoking. Why do so many NBA players do the pot? While the answers to that question vary from individual to individual, it seems a number of common factors exist. Peer pressure from friends and teammates is an obvious factor, as is the pressure and harsh media glare that accompany modern basketball stardom.
But where can innocent young NBA players, so far removed from the excesses of drugs, wealth, and street life, "score" marijuana? We contacted Detroit Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace for comment.
"It all comes from Portland," the former Blazer said. "You ever been to Portland, man? The shit's, like, falling out of the sky. Why do you think they're called 'The Blazers?' Why do you think nobody who plays in Portland can stay out of trouble? Me and [former teammate] Bonzi [Wells] would hook up all the visiting playas with that sticky-icky Oregon home-grown. We even got John Stockton's corny ass high."
Said former Utah Jazz point guard and all-time assists leader, John Stockton, "Hells yeah I smoked on that chronic. After practice, after games, shit, before games, halftime. I just don't give a fuck. Me and [former teammate] Karl [Malone], we would blaze nonstop."
Then he yelled, "Johnny Stock in the muh'fuckin' house. Puff the blunt through the nose and blow it out yo' mouth."
The NBA, unlike the NFL, does not have random drug testing. The reason for this is unclear but the results are staggering. Marijuana has seeped into the NBA culture and has affected everything from Latrell Sprewell's hair to Michael Olowokandi's lethargy to the mere presence of Bill Walton. In fact, sources close to the NBA have told the KFBA that marijuana was first introduced to basketball players in the seventies in hopes that it would prevent Bill Walton from producing offspring. Needless to say, it did not.
Commissioner David Stern denied our request to be interviewed for this piece; however, his office sent us a letter written on a ZigZag rolling paper. The message reads as follows:
Noboty smoke weed in da NBA.
Stay out of it
Love peace and nappiness
--Sterno
So, if the commissioner's office isn't willing to clamp down, what is to be done about this mounting problem? How can the average NBA fan, who prefers to watch basketball as Mr. Naismith intended, without the accompaniment of marijuana and in the presence of children and a pastor, watch the game without the influence of those who do the pot? We suggest an aggressive letter writing campaign by NBA fans to the league and to the players. Perhaps a stern talking-to is just what these young, headstrong players need to surrender their wicked, self-destructive ways.
Either that or just let it go.