Fat Bones
01-01-2008, 05:51 AM
It was more like Baghdad on a bad night.
It was windy as hell and fireworks were flying everywhere. The county, in it's wisdom, has allowed a few entrepreneurs the ability to clear and burn off some acreage and allow us local yahoos a place to blow shit up. You know, for the kids. The fine this year for shooting fireworks off within city limits jumped to at least $1000, and is more than I'm willing to risk for the dizzying euphoria induced by sulfur and gunpowder in the street at my house. So my next door neighbor invites us along and I agree.
We'd already stocked up well for tonight's mission earlier. Drunken Monkey's, roman candles, a big armload of high velocity wizbangs and a bunch of other shit. We forgot to get armbands, and after standing in fucking line for a hour in the cold wind we were blessed with the necessary credentials to enter Hell.
We walked into an open dirt field and started lighting them off. Everyone eventually got a punk and after a careful start, pandemonium broke loose.
Huge roman candles toppled in the wind and played spin the bottle mortar style. The adjoining field caught fire from some other enthusiast and quickly spread in the wind. The unmanned firetruck parked at the front of our field remained stationary. The folks around us seemed to up the tempo of the barrage in the anticipation of soon getting shut down...as did we. After a while a mad max looking firetruck with what looked to be a couple of teenagers manning it showed up and started encircling the flames and soon managed to douse the flames. We maniacally finished our stuff with a zealous fervor and laughed our way back to the truck to head home.
Good times.
As we pull up to the house and get out, my somewhat unstable ex marine neighbor from across th street comes out and announces we better not start firing that shit up here and stumbles his drunk ass back inside. We assured him we hadn't intended any such dastardly actions and went inside for drinks and the countdown.
At midnight, we go outside and start celebrating a little. The car alarms are going off, all the kids have pans and spoons and are drumming away. The folks down the street are having a big bash and yelling over the PA and shooting off massive ordinance. Just normal stuff around here on New Year's Eve and July 4th. Of course Dave erupts outside and starts fucking yelling about having to sleep and how we're just assholes.
But I can hear the distinct sound of him cocking his fucking pistol. I never saw it, he didn't wave it around, and he didn't leave his yard. But god damn, this dude's fucking nuts. It's not like he hasn't gone fucking whack before. He's a generally a good neighbor at least to our face, but when he starts pounding scotch, he's been known to start pounding his wife and not in a loving way. It's been about ten years since he's fucked up that bad, but I can't believe the dude resorted to bringing a pistol out to make a point with a couple of neighbors that grew up across the street, and with our kids in range.
I later saw on the news the spot on Hwy87 was on fire again and out of control...
Happy New Year.
It was windy as hell and fireworks were flying everywhere. The county, in it's wisdom, has allowed a few entrepreneurs the ability to clear and burn off some acreage and allow us local yahoos a place to blow shit up. You know, for the kids. The fine this year for shooting fireworks off within city limits jumped to at least $1000, and is more than I'm willing to risk for the dizzying euphoria induced by sulfur and gunpowder in the street at my house. So my next door neighbor invites us along and I agree.
We'd already stocked up well for tonight's mission earlier. Drunken Monkey's, roman candles, a big armload of high velocity wizbangs and a bunch of other shit. We forgot to get armbands, and after standing in fucking line for a hour in the cold wind we were blessed with the necessary credentials to enter Hell.
We walked into an open dirt field and started lighting them off. Everyone eventually got a punk and after a careful start, pandemonium broke loose.
Huge roman candles toppled in the wind and played spin the bottle mortar style. The adjoining field caught fire from some other enthusiast and quickly spread in the wind. The unmanned firetruck parked at the front of our field remained stationary. The folks around us seemed to up the tempo of the barrage in the anticipation of soon getting shut down...as did we. After a while a mad max looking firetruck with what looked to be a couple of teenagers manning it showed up and started encircling the flames and soon managed to douse the flames. We maniacally finished our stuff with a zealous fervor and laughed our way back to the truck to head home.
Good times.
As we pull up to the house and get out, my somewhat unstable ex marine neighbor from across th street comes out and announces we better not start firing that shit up here and stumbles his drunk ass back inside. We assured him we hadn't intended any such dastardly actions and went inside for drinks and the countdown.
At midnight, we go outside and start celebrating a little. The car alarms are going off, all the kids have pans and spoons and are drumming away. The folks down the street are having a big bash and yelling over the PA and shooting off massive ordinance. Just normal stuff around here on New Year's Eve and July 4th. Of course Dave erupts outside and starts fucking yelling about having to sleep and how we're just assholes.
But I can hear the distinct sound of him cocking his fucking pistol. I never saw it, he didn't wave it around, and he didn't leave his yard. But god damn, this dude's fucking nuts. It's not like he hasn't gone fucking whack before. He's a generally a good neighbor at least to our face, but when he starts pounding scotch, he's been known to start pounding his wife and not in a loving way. It's been about ten years since he's fucked up that bad, but I can't believe the dude resorted to bringing a pistol out to make a point with a couple of neighbors that grew up across the street, and with our kids in range.
I later saw on the news the spot on Hwy87 was on fire again and out of control...
Happy New Year.