I have a question for the twenty-somethings...

[2Blonde]

How old were you before you started treating your parents with respect? I'm talking about being honest with them, not going out and doing stupid things and then trying to hide it... that kind of thing.
My daughter is almost 16 and she's driving me nuts. She's not a bad kid but it seems like every-time I turn around right now something else comes out that she has been hiding from me. Today she fessed up about piercing her navel yesterday. She already had 3 sets of ear piercings and we let her get her ear cartilage pierced when she turned 13 in exchange for signing an agreement with us not to pierce anything else until she is 18. So it's not like I'm being uncool or anything. It just pisses me off that she shows so little respect for me by going out and doing something she promised not to. And this was after I dyed her hair for her yesterday with reddish-fuschia highlights around the face and in the underlayers.

I think I'll have a drink tonight.

[atxrocker]

at 15 if a piercing is the worst thing she is doing, then consider yourself lucky.

[SpursWoman]

Well, it'd help if she wasn't so cute. Maybe you can get about 50 pounds on her? :wtf :lol


My 12-going-on-15 year old daughter sucks in that (lack of) respect, too. :flipoff :cry

[word]

I wouldn't expect the worm to turn at 16. You're in the hell years, although, I don't have a daughter so I don't know what you do. Well I have a step daughter but I let the wife do the driving there. She's okay though, now 25. My son is 18 and has always been very mature for his age, so I'm lucky there. Hell, he's more mature than me in some ways. It's kinda wierd....lol. Doesn't drink or smoke and I do both. I'll ask him if he wants a beer or a cigar....nope. Kids fucked up I tell ya'....

[Ballcox]

^2Blonde, I'm in the same boat with my 14 year old daughter. She's not really a bad kid, makes good grades, plays volleyball.

But lately me and her mom keep finding instances where she just flat out lies to us, and then gets mad at us for giving her some kind of consequence.

I've just accepted at this point that my daughter will not like me very much for the next 5-6 years, but I'm sure as hell not backing down to a 14 year old. VERY frustrating! :bang

[KEDA]

I'm 23 now and I pierced my navel when I was 16, then at 18 I went and got a tattoo on my ankle and I got my tounge pierced.......then, right after graduation I went and got my nose pierced. At 19 I went and got a tattoo on the small of my back......since then I have taken out my nose and tounge after getting them both done twice.....So all I have left now are my 2 tattoos and my belly button....my belly button I probably won't take out till I get pregnant and I do plan on getting more tattoos......She is just rebelling like most girls her age do....I didn't tell my mom anything about what was going on in my life and she was active in it. We were on a need to know bases and thats how it was till I moved out.....Now we are super close and I don't know what I would do without her here. Hope it helps!!!

~Megan~

[jman3000]

ummm... no offense... but sometimes parents can be so naive. not to get you all worried or anything... but she's probably doing much more behind your back than you know.

[ploto]

I think the goal is to put each thing off for as long as possible because as soon as they get one thing, they will find something new to want.

Me, I am not the cool parent, and I never will be.

[Cant_Be_Faded]

I always showed them respect but it wasn't until I was 17 and had done alot of stuff to make them worry about me that I stopped lying, and started getting smarter about my actions.
I'd still do stuff they disapproved of, but within reason, and I wouldn't lie about it.

For instance they'd ask where I was and I said I was smokin blunts with my homies.

[Dex]

I don't come from a necessarily typical situation here, so I might be able to provide some perspective.

I am 22, and the youngest of three siblings. My parents were extremely strict with my oldest sister, who rebelled and ran away to a different state as soon as she could, got pregnant, and eventually settled down back into the family. They were kind of strict with my older brother, the middle child, but he still had a tendency to get himself into stupid situations and, therefore, required the strict hand more often.

My parents laid off of me extremely early. I ran around with my older brother a lot, but I never got caught up in the same kind of trouble he did. Gave me a car at 16, dropped the curfew at 17. By the time I was 18, my parents pretty much gave me complete freedom as long as I didn't get thrown in jail, get caught doing obviously stupid things, and kept them generally informed of my whereabouts.

Because of that, I've been able to respect my parents for a long, long time. It was a lot easier to treat them like adults when they were treating me the same way. To this day, I still have great relationships with both of them because while they were always there keeping an eye on me, they let me figure out how I was supposed to live life.

Granted, you can't do this with everybody. Some kids have more tendency for mischief, and I did my part by staying out of trouble (or, at least, not getting caught in what trouble I did get into. And kids WILL always get into some trouble). Therefore, you kind of get stuck playing the 'controlling parent' role sometimes, until the child finally realizes that all those rules and restrictions you set for them all had their best intentions in mind.

My 2 cents.

[jman3000]

dex is correct. that's kinda how my parent were with me and im square as all fuck.

[Ginofan]

2Blonde:

I'm 25 now and I'd LIKE to think that I'm pretty respectful of my mother. But when I was a teenager I can't remember a time my brother and I didn't lie to my parents about something. We both snuck out of the house in the middle of the night, got caught and got punished. We didn't do anything terribly bad, we didn't go out and drink or go get tattoos or anything of the such that my parents didn't already know about.

Like a lot of people here are saying, it's probably just a phase that most teenagers will go through. That's what scares me to death about eventually becoming a parent...you've got a lot of crazy shit to deal with!

[ShoogarBear]

How old were you before you started treating your parents with respect? I'm talking about being honest with them, not going out and doing stupid things and then trying to hide it... that kind of thing.
My daughter is almost 16 and she's driving me nuts. She's not a bad kid but it seems like every-time I turn around right now something else comes out that she has been hiding from me. Today she fessed up about piercing her navel yesterday. She already had 3 sets of ear piercings and we let her get her ear cartilage pierced when she turned 13 in exchange for signing an agreement with us not to pierce anything else until she is 18. So it's not like I'm being uncool or anything. It just pisses me off that she shows so little respect for me by going out and doing something she promised not to. And this was after I dyed her hair for her yesterday with reddish-fuschia highlights around the face and in the underlayers.

I think I'll have a drink tonight.Could be worse. Alvarez could have her phone number.

[LuvBones]

I don't come from a necessarily typical situation here, so I might be able to provide some perspective.

I am 22, and the youngest of three siblings. My parents were extremely strict with my oldest sister, who rebelled and ran away to a different state as soon as she could, got pregnant, and eventually settled down back into the family. They were kind of strict with my older brother, the middle child, but he still had a tendency to get himself into stupid situations and, therefore, required the strict hand more often.

My parents laid off of me extremely early. I ran around with my older brother a lot, but I never got caught up in the same kind of trouble he did. Gave me a car at 16, dropped the curfew at 17. By the time I was 18, my parents pretty much gave me complete freedom as long as I didn't get thrown in jail, get caught doing obviously stupid things, and kept them generally informed of my whereabouts.

Because of that, I've been able to respect my parents for a long, long time. It was a lot easier to treat them like adults when they were treating me the same way. To this day, I still have great relationships with both of them because while they were always there keeping an eye on me, they let me figure out how I was supposed to live life.

Granted, you can't do this with everybody. Some kids have more tendency for mischief, and I did my part by staying out of trouble (or, at least, not getting caught in what trouble I did get into. And kids WILL always get into some trouble). Therefore, you kind of get stuck playing the 'controlling parent' role sometimes, until the child finally realizes that all those rules and restrictions you set for them all had their best intentions in mind.

My 2 cents.That sounds exactly like my situation! :tu

[dougp]

I'm 23 now and I pierced my navel when I was 16, then at 18 I went and got a tattoo on my ankle and I got my tounge pierced.......then, right after graduation I went and got my nose pierced. At 19 I went and got a tattoo on the small of my back......since then I have taken out my nose and tounge after getting them both done twice.....So all I have left now are my 2 tattoos and my belly button....my belly button I probably won't take out till I get pregnant and I do plan on getting more tattoos......She is just rebelling like most girls her age do....I didn't tell my mom anything about what was going on in my life and she was active in it. We were on a need to know bases and thats how it was till I moved out.....Now we are super close and I don't know what I would do without her here. Hope it helps!!!

~Megan~Damn Meg, I was reading this and I'm like KEDA WTF, don't say this shit, makes you look really gay ... and then I saw you signed it.

[ChumpDumper]

She'll respect you once you quit giving her money.

[SequSpur]

keda has a pierced belly button... :lmao

[Sp Ginobili 20]

I'm 15, turning 16 soon, and I think I give my parents a big deal of respect. My relationship with my parents is very close, sort of a like friendship, but they definitely know when to be my parents, and not my friends. I've only been close to my parents for the past 2 years, because I know the troubles the have to go through in order for me to succeed. With that said, props to all the parents for all they've gone through for their kids http://spurstalk.com/forums/images/smilies2/smitu.gif

[marini martini]

She'll respect you once you quit giving her money.

Hate to agree! And a car & cell phone are not an automatic right of passage when they turn 16 :toast

[CuckingFunt]

dex is correct. that's kinda how my parent were with me and im square as all fuck.
Ditto.

I lied to my mom about stupid shit as a teenager -- skipping classes, hanging out with a few people she didn't like, etc. -- but my mom was always open enough about the big stuff (and her own mistakes/indescretions at that age) that I didn't really feel a need to rebel. I didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't use drugs, didn't put myself in dangerous situations, and knew enough to be smart about sex.

To answer the inital question, however, I'd say that I've always respected my parents... but my mom would probably say that I never have. I think it's just one of those universal kid things.

[THE SIXTH MAN]

I don't come from a necessarily typical situation here, so I might be able to provide some perspective.

I am 22, and the youngest of three siblings. My parents were extremely strict with my oldest sister, who rebelled and ran away to a different state as soon as she could, got pregnant, and eventually settled down back into the family. They were kind of strict with my older brother, the middle child, but he still had a tendency to get himself into stupid situations and, therefore, required the strict hand more often.

My parents laid off of me extremely early. I ran around with my older brother a lot, but I never got caught up in the same kind of trouble he did. Gave me a car at 16, dropped the curfew at 17. By the time I was 18, my parents pretty much gave me complete freedom as long as I didn't get thrown in jail, get caught doing obviously stupid things, and kept them generally informed of my whereabouts.

Because of that, I've been able to respect my parents for a long, long time. It was a lot easier to treat them like adults when they were treating me the same way. To this day, I still have great relationships with both of them because while they were always there keeping an eye on me, they let me figure out how I was supposed to live life.

Granted, you can't do this with everybody. Some kids have more tendency for mischief, and I did my part by staying out of trouble (or, at least, not getting caught in what trouble I did get into. And kids WILL always get into some trouble). Therefore, you kind of get stuck playing the 'controlling parent' role sometimes, until the child finally realizes that all those rules and restrictions you set for them all had their best intentions in mind.

My 2 cents.
:tu I'm in the same situation as Dex and Jman3000. At around 17/18 my parents gave me so much freedom. BUT I have to add with that freedom they gave me responsibility. I had to pay the car note, insurance. And if I wanted to do something I couldn't ask for extra cash. About one of the few things that they did actually help me with was my School loans. BUt as soon as they started to treat me as an adult I respected them as adults too.

High School girls are a whole different animal though! They're peers probably and most likely have more influence in their lives then anyone else at that point in time. But as long as you let her know right from wrong thats pretty much more then you can do. Because if you try to discipline it will only make them want to rebel even more then they already do.

[velik_m]

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/beatkid4.jpg

[atxrocker]

lmao

[Please_dont_ban_me]

I've always respected them and not done stupid shit. I'm 23.

Then again I come from a very strict Muslim household and upbringing.

[TDMVPDPOY]

tell her, educatioin first, and you can have ur freedom....

[florige]

I've always respected them and not done stupid shit. I'm 23.

Then again I come from a very strict Muslim household and upbringing.
\


Same here pretty much. I was brought up a Jehovah's Witness and had to follow very strict guidelines. But me and my brother still did our share of sirt like cutting class and making up stories to stay home from school. But taking into consideration how alot of our friends turned out whose parents just let them do whatever I think that the three of us turned out okay. And 16 is a very rebelious age. If tatooes is the only thing she has lied about that isn't bad at all. I knew some kids at 16 who pretty much defied their parents at all cost. At least she still goes to school and studies.

[Thunder Dan]

I always respected my parents, but I think I started acting differently around them around the time I turned 18 and went off to college. I just think I had a problem with my parents being in my business 24-7 (or it felt like that). After I went to college, I found new freedom and matured more.

[TDMVPDPOY]

from 5 till now.....

i always respect my parents, grownups, elders, family and relatives...ppl do judge you and you dont wanna bring shame to your family....expecially when ppl start badmouthing you to everyone and it spreads around...ppl will judge you and look down on you and ur family.....This is common for mostly everyone.

its all about discipline, manners, respect and personality.

treat others like you want to be treated back in return....

The community and the area you are brought up in, also has an affect on you....sure you live in the ghetto, ppl do drugs and shit, you see shit appearing in front of you that appears on tv.....its all about you making the correct decisions now that will change the way you wanna live your life. Do you wanan get involved with these sort of activities.....

Yeh 5-16 i was a nerd...did pretty well in school and stuff, education first was my main priority since ur parents work hard just to send you to catholic highschools and stuff...When you start to hang around the wrong ppl, gangbangers, friends who start to get involved into drugs, thuggery...peer pressure and stuff, it affects you. I hanged around them sort of ppl, but never got involved in the activities they were doing who were in the wrong end of the law....Parents knew about it, said you can hang around them, but dont keep a close relationship or dont get involved. I made the choice of keeping a fair distance from these ppl, i greet them every now and then...but wouldnt wanna hang out with them on a regular basis.

[polandprzem]

I always respected my Mom, nad never lied to her as I remember.

Although I had bad days, depressions and all that teenage "I hate you all" attitude I knew I could trust my Mom when needed.

It depends on the relations with the kids. How he/she is raised. What envoirnment he/she is in etc.
All in all some kids are grown and learn to respect parents realy early, but the others need some time. Also many never will respect the parents (it depends on parent and kid as well).
There is no rule. Too many things are involved in it.

[thispego]

How old were you before you started treating your parents with respect? I'm talking about being honest with them, not going out and doing stupid things and then trying to hide it... that kind of thing.
My daughter is almost 16 and she's driving me nuts. She's not a bad kid but it seems like every-time I turn around right now something else comes out that she has been hiding from me. Today she fessed up about piercing her navel yesterday. She already had 3 sets of ear piercings and we let her get her ear cartilage pierced when she turned 13 in exchange for signing an agreement with us not to pierce anything else until she is 18. So it's not like I'm being uncool or anything. It just pisses me off that she shows so little respect for me by going out and doing something she promised not to. And this was after I dyed her hair for her yesterday with reddish-fuschia highlights around the face and in the underlayers.

I think I'll have a drink tonight.
sounds pretty airtight. you should take her ass to court.

[jman3000]

i think raising your child too strictly is just asking for trouble later on.


girls who go through harsh parenting grow up to do anal.

[Mixability]

an agreement was signed?

[MoSpur]

Techinically I am still in my twenties. I am 29. I always respected my parents. However, they never knew of me drinking or smoking until later on in my twenties when I confessed to them. I got good grades and played sports so they thought I was fine, but me myself knew the difference between doing something wrong and doing something stupid.

I am sure all kids in and around that age group lie and hide things.

[thispego]

she doesnt respect you because you keep letting her get away with things. Ground the shit out of her and dont buy her a car when she turns 16. She broke a legally binding contract. That's hard time in the real world. Teach her her lessons now.

[thispego]

i thought this was an indecent proposal thread...
oh you didnt GET the pm from Spurschick?

[AFBlue]

I'd say it's based on the teenager...

I'm the 5th of 6 kids and my parents went through several stages of strictness, generally lightening up as the younger ones came up.

By the time it got to me, my parents had few strict rules but generally trusted that I'd do the right thing. Fortunately for them, and me, I rarely tested their patience. I ended up tatoo-less, pierce-less, and without a baby...so I'd say I made out good.

But, my little brother on the other hand got into drugs and girls pretty heavily during his teenage years. In his case the whole "freedom" thing didn't workout so well.

He has since rebounded and grown up, but it's just an illustration that sometimes giving a teenager the freedom to make their own decisions and mistakes doesn't work out.

I don't have any kids of my own yet, and I don't know how trustworthy your teenage daughter is, so I won't give you advice as to whether you should be strict or not....but I'll just warn that giving her space and freedom may not be the answer.

BTW, for purposes of meeting criteria....I'm 25.

[BacktoBasics]

I didn't respect my parents until I myself was completely on my own and free to make my own mistakes living by my own hand. No matter how sound the advice was I wanted to do what I wanted to do and I wanted to have the freedom to make my own decisions and live with my own consequences not someone elses. I was essentially on my own at 17 and they didn't ease up on my until my mid twenties. I've had my ups and downs but I don't regret for one minute having that need to do things my way not theirs. I may have learned some valuable lessons far later than I should have but I can't stand the "do what I say because I say so" I needed the "why". With that said its changed the kind of parent that I am. To illustrate the "why" we did this.

I have two stepdaughters 13 and 12. The 13 year old is popular has boyfriends and her very own set of grown up boobs to flaunt around with. She always has to have the latest this and that and be the center of attention. She does what she wants to do and you can't argue with her about. Battle after battle over the smallest shit until I took it all away and put all her clothes and belongings in the attic (she thought the trash). She had to wear the same two outfits I left her to school. She had no phone no TV no stereo unless she could pay for it. You want TV pay TW you want a phone go get some credit from AT&T. You want clean clothes do the wash. If you're so smart and so independent then make it happen wise ass. That lasted nearly two months until she started to listen a little more and be more respectful. Slowly over the following two months she got bits and pieces of her stuff back so long as her room remained clean and she helped out around the house. She did chores in lieu of things like TV, phone, internet similarly to what every adult has to go through. Having what we have and being able to afford is a result of working for it. I don't hear any more crap about I want this or I want that because I want it and blah blah blah.

Go figure the 12 year old has never acted that way. She does whats expected and then some.

[ploto]

In the attempt to give your children all those things you did not have growing up, do not forget to give them all the things you did have.

I do not have and never will purchase a video game system for my house. I will, on the other hand, buy just about any book my child requests. My child does not have a cell phone and will not be handed a car when he turns 16. I was raised to earn things for myself and I am grateful my parents raised me that way because it made me proficient and capable. I do not want to have a child who grows up without that feeling of accomplishing things for himself. Today, I see way too many good-intentioned parents working out all their kids struggles for them and paving the way for them to have and to do whatever they want, which in the end will turn out to be a disservice for a bunch of kids incapable of functioning in the real world.

I think, too, that the environment and expectations are set at a very young age. Kids learn what their parents value and what is important to them.

[jman3000]

i think for a child to grow up right they sadly need to see failure from their siblings or relatives. it gives them perspecitve and an experience to draw from.

my sister moved out when she was 19. got pregnant when she was 20 and has had to fight hard to live a normal lfe. she's 5 years older than me and seeing the things she would do gave me an understanding of what i should do and not do.

my sister by no means failed... but she had to go through much more than she might have.

[CosmicCowboy]

It's their job to lie to us and our job to catch them. It's just one of the natural orders of the universe like gravity.

[polandprzem]

It's their job to lie to us and our job to catch them. It's just one of the natural orders of the universe like gravity.

maybe on your farm cowboy :shootme

[CosmicCowboy]

The only 15 year old that aren't trying to slide one by their parents are riding the short bus with you Polandprzem.

[katyon6th]

The only 15 year old that aren't trying to slide one by their parents are riding the short bus with you Polandprzem.

Oh, damn.

:rollin

[SpursWoman]

The only 15 year old that aren't trying to slide one by their parents are riding the short bus with you Polandprzem.


Oh, man ... :rollin :lol

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

2blonde, does your daughter have a job? That might teach her responsibility, and also take some mischief time off her hands. I got a job aged 15 because I was getting into music and wanted a nice stereo - saved for 6 months for a $1000 Yamaha that I'm still listeninig to as we speak.

Then again, what would I know? I was never a rebellious teenager (my rebellion came after I'd left home, strangely, but that's another story...).

Also, I think BacktoBasic, ploto and thispego hit the nail on the head - sounds like you need to hit her up with some serious discipline. She lied and broke a contract, and she should suffer the consequences. Try that shit in the real world and you'll get your head handed to you - she needs to learn that now, or she'll learn it later by herself and that won't be pretty.

All of that being said, good luck with it! If only there was a way to convince teenagers that if you avoid the bad stuff, life gets so much better in your 20s.

[2Blonde]

Thanks to all for your insight. She isn't a bad kid but sometimes she drives me up the wall.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

from 5 till now.....

i always respect my parents, grownups, elders, family and relatives...ppl do judge you and you dont wanna bring shame to your family....expecially when ppl start badmouthing you to everyone and it spreads around...ppl will judge you and look down on you and ur family.....This is common for mostly everyone.

its all about discipline, manners, respect and personality.

treat others like you want to be treated back in return....

The community and the area you are brought up in, also has an affect on you....sure you live in the ghetto, ppl do drugs and shit, you see shit appearing in front of you that appears on tv.....its all about you making the correct decisions now that will change the way you wanna live your life. Do you wanan get involved with these sort of activities.....

Yeh 5-16 i was a nerd...did pretty well in school and stuff, education first was my main priority since ur parents work hard just to send you to catholic highschools and stuff...When you start to hang around the wrong ppl, gangbangers, friends who start to get involved into drugs, thuggery...peer pressure and stuff, it affects you. I hanged around them sort of ppl, but never got involved in the activities they were doing who were in the wrong end of the law....Parents knew about it, said you can hang around them, but dont keep a close relationship or dont get involved. I made the choice of keeping a fair distance from these ppl, i greet them every now and then...but wouldnt wanna hang out with them on a regular basis.

That is the longest post I've ever seen from you!

Are you in Melbourne? Asian-Australian heritage of some kind?

[CosmicCowboy]

Thanks to all for your insight. She isn't a bad kid but sometimes she drives me up the wall.

LOL

At least you know theres something going on in there...I'll take a feisty semi-rebellious thinker over a deadhead any day. Just don't forget to save your battles for the really big stuff. Fight em every day on the little stuff and they will tune you out.

[2Blonde]

ummm... no offense... but sometimes parents can be so naive. not to get you all worried or anything... but she's probably doing much more behind your back than you know.


I've been parenting her for almost 16 years and i am hardly naive about what kids do behind your back. I was a teenage girl once upon a time. My post was about her not showing enough respect to me. If you think I don't know that she tries to push the limits then you are the one that is naive. Most parents do know when their kids are lying to them, I was just trying to figure out why she would do it when the truth would cause her less trouble.

We have always had a rule that if you tell the truth you might get in trouble but if you lie then you you get in trouble for the deed AND for the lie. She went behind my back on this one but she told the truth the next day. On other occasions she has done stuff and then lied when I asked her about it.


i think raising your child too strictly is just asking for trouble later on.


girls who go through harsh parenting grow up to do anal.
Oh by all means then, I better start letting her do anything she wants. :rolleyes

[2Blonde]

LOL

At least you know theres something going on in there...I'll take a feisty semi-rebellious thinker over a deadhead any day. Just don't forget to save your battles for the really big stuff. Fight em every day on the little stuff and they will tune you out.


I totally agree with you. I've told her I wouldn't trade her for all the perfectly behaved children in the world. She's bright, funny, beautiful, can be really sweet or a huge pain in the ass....but she's mine.

[td4mvp21]

maybe on your farm cowboy :shootme

You're a fucking idiot.

[Leetonidas]

Take it from me 2Blonde. I'm gonna be 18 pretty soon and I'm a senior in high school. I can tell you that almost every girl or guy for that matter does so much shit that parents don't know about. Almost every kid by my age has smoked pot and gotten drunk, snuck out, had sex, and lies to their parent's faces every single day.

I'm guilty of all that crap but I stay out of trouble. I got arrested once for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and I told my mom about it and she didn't freak and it was cool.

Basically, your kid is going to do a lot of shit you'll never find out about. Whenever you catch them, it's probably a 1 of 10 thing. And I'm not saying your daughter is a dirty slut who gets high and drunk and ridden by the football team, I'm just saying as a teenager, I know how we are.

[2Blonde]

Take it from me 2Blonde. I'm gonna be 18 pretty soon and I'm a senior in high school. I can tell you that almost every girl or guy for that matter does so much shit that parents don't know about. Almost every kid by my age has smoked pot and gotten drunk, snuck out, had sex, and lies to their parent's faces every single day.

I'm guilty of all that crap but I stay out of trouble. I got arrested once for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and I told my mom about it and she didn't freak and it was cool.

Basically, your kid is going to do a lot of shit you'll never find out about. Whenever you catch them, it's probably a 1 of 10 thing. And I'm not saying your daughter is a dirty slut who gets high and drunk and ridden by the football team, I'm just saying as a teenager, I know how we are.
But what you don't get is that we've been there too and there is nothing you could do or think about doing that we didn't do or think about doing when we were teenagers. As for stuff you mentioned, getting drunk, high, having sex, going to parties... you have no idea what she has done or has told me about. Nor do you have any idea how much of it I already know about. You are still at the age where you think parents are clueless. There are a ton of things we know and don't bust our kids on because we know they need to make the mistakes themselves.

The reason I asked for insight ( not advice ) from the 20-somethings is that most of them are far enough removed from the antics of the teenage years to have gained some perspective but still be young enough to be relevant about the things that are in the world today. In my day we didn't have AIDS or designer drugs to deals with but we still got drunk, high, had sex, and went to parties.

[ShoogarBear]

I was a teenage girl once upon a time. Man, if only I knew where you were back then.

[2Blonde]

Man, if only I knew where you were back then.


[ /swoon ] :spin

[ShoogarBear]

[ /swoon ] :spin
http://www.grojojo.com/blog/images/urkle.png
http://bp1.blogger.com/_yg4O6RMVBjs/ReTIAjUV72I/AAAAAAAAATY/IyW5ajSO8j0/s1600-h/urkle.JPG

[angel_luv]

My mom and I had emotional issues big time when I was in junior high. My adolescence adjustment and her menopause were a bad mix.

Even so, I was never rebellious and mouthy.
Mom says I never threw fits- even as a toddler. Just not my personality, I guess.

The hardest time I had with my mom was actually just a few years ago. I was 22 and it was the first time I moved out on my own.
Since I was paying my own bills etc, it was super important to me to say my say, and figure out/ do things my own way.
I felt mom smothered me and maybe she did a little.

Now I have settled into a healthy balance in which I am smart enough to at least ask my mom's advice before making my own decision.
And my mom is very considerate- often won't even offer an opinion until I specifically ask for it.

It's still a learning process but rarely is there any true hostility anymore- a credit both to my mother and myself, I think.

[SpursWoman]

But what you don't get is that we've been there too and there is nothing you could do or think about doing that we didn't do or think about doing when we were teenagers.


Frankly, I'm a little shocked by this. I never even saw a penis, knew what a cigarette was, or even dreamed of consuming anything other than a Bayer baby asprin until I was 30.

You little tramp. :lol

[ploto]

Almost every kid by my age has smoked pot and gotten drunk, snuck out, had sex, and lies to their parent's faces every single day.
I am sorry, but this is simply not true. Not EVERY teenager does those things and claiming they do does not make them acceptable. I never did any of those things as a teenager and I had friends who did not either.

[td4mvp21]

I'm 18, I still haven't gotten drunk or done drugs. I've drank and smoked cigs though, and lied to my parents' faces.

[td4mvp21]

you drank cigs?

gross

Yep!

[polandprzem]

The only 15 year old that aren't trying to slide one by their parents are riding the short bus with you Polandprzem.

I'd rather have contact with short bus then a short brain of yours :toast

[travis2]

I feel your pain, 2Blonde...:toast

[2Blonde]

Frankly, I'm a little shocked by this. I never even saw a penis, knew what a cigarette was, or even dreamed of consuming anything other than a Bayer baby asprin until I was 30.

You little tramp. :lol
:spin

[CosmicCowboy]

I'd rather have contact with short bus then a short brain of yours :toast

lmao

at least he didn't call me poopooface...

[polandprzem]

lmao

at least he didn't call me poopooface...

Who? Your 15 year old son or daughter?
Or you are 15 years old?

You see not everybody is lieing and it's not a normal thing. I do understand that most americans or modern style parents like to have kids make shit on them.

Good to know who I'm talking to.

[CosmicCowboy]

Who? Your 15 year old son or daughter?
Or you are 15 years old?

You see not everybody is lieing and it's not a normal thing. I do understand that most americans or modern style parents like to have kids make shit on them.

Good to know who I'm talking to.

If you are trying to get in a battle of wits/insults you are bringing a knife to a gunfight.

I think I'll take a pass...got more important things to do this morning.

http://www.steveferson.com/ferson/steve/jokes/pics/arguingonline.jpg

[polandprzem]

Battle of an insults?

If I wanted to insult you I would do so. I'm just talking about facts.
Or you are so sensitive ? :dramaquee

I have no idea.

intead of conversation about the topic you preferd to laugh at the disabled persons. Well that's your inteligence you showing.
Nice showoff :rolleyes congrats

[katyon6th]

Battle of an insults?

If I wanted to insult you I would do so. I'm just talking about facts.
Or you are so sensitive ? :dramaquee

I have no idea.

intead of conversation about the topic you preferd to laugh at the disabled persons. Well that's your inteligence you showing.
Nice showoff :rolleyes congrats

I actually understood everything you just said. I think.

Bravo, poland. :spin

[spursfan09]

I'm 22 years old. My mom was always on my back, but she would let me go out alot. But she was forever with the questions. Truth is I did things I wouldn't want her to know. They weren't over the top crazy, but just somethings I didn't feel comfortable sharing with her. I think bugging is the best way to get through to a kid, but also restrain from going to far to the point where they actually consider being other places like in the streets better than being at home all the time where they are constantly getting yelled at. I think my mom did a good job of being tough when she had to and leniant when she could.

[2Blonde]

I'm 22 years old. My mom was always on my back, but she would let me go out alot. But she was forever with the questions. Truth is I did things I wouldn't want her to know. They weren't over the top crazy, but just somethings I didn't feel comfortable sharing with her. I think bugging is the best way to get through to a kid, but also restrain from going to far to the point where they actually consider being other places like in the streets better than being at home all the time where they are constantly getting yelled at. I think my mom did a good job of being tough when she had to and leniant when she could.
Thanks, that's exactly the kind of thing I was looking for. You are very lucky to have a mom who cares enough to bug you.

[spursfan09]

Yup! I agree! My mom's great. I really do think its just about "bugging", but then also having the ability to trust. But I'm not a mom yet so I dunno. :lol

[TDMVPDPOY]

sending them overseas or to grannies place doesnt solve the problem, trust me on this.

[Kyle Smith]

at 15 if a piercing is the worst thing she is doing, then consider yourself lucky.


*nods*

[Please_dont_ban_me]

Optimist - Hey, it's just her navel. That's not so bad.

Pessimist - If she hid that from you...what else might be hiding?

[polandprzem]

Also the very early age does count in the way the kid will behave later.

The most important thing to know is that kids are learning from excamples, if you as a parent are good excample and the envoirnemt the kid is as well, there is a big chance you could trust eachother. Also, the kid must to know the rules of the world, what is good and what is bad. The faster the kid find his/her own indentity, the faster she/he will know what you as a parent is about and everything else is about. That is called grown up - taking responsibility for the bahavior and accept the potential punishemnt. So no reason to lie for excample.

I never hidden anything from my Mom, but I can tell you I was a problematic kid. And how Mom survived and now having realy good relationship with me is beyond me :)

It's maybe differently from here (poland) and there (america) looking at the history of both countries. We had WWII and not far from it a communism...
Umm when my Mom was a kid she would never be let in the room where the grownups were talking, never. And when I was a kid that has changed. Now the modern parets let the kids do whatever they want and we see the results in schools. The education level went down (but still higher then in america :P). And the respect for the teachers is none. When I was going to school we had respect, we hated the teachers but all in all we could not think about the things the kids are saying and doing now.