Write your own "Soft Speech"!

[ShoogarBear]

It's getting close to that time of year again for Pop and the Spurs. But you know, after 11 years, it's difficult to come up with new ways of delivering the news to the troops. So . . . here's your chance to help Pop out, Spurs Fans!

We need some pungent yet catchy phrasing that will mark the beginning of the pre-SPAM period. It doesn't necessarily have to make sense (hey to ducks) but it must get across the message that the Spurs are playing like Charmin. Limit to 50 words or less, please.

EDIT: changed the word limit cause I can't follow my own rules.

[BonnerDynasty]

Horry you're out.

Bonner you're in.

Let's crack some stones.

:clap

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

You nailed it, Shoogar. This is the low point of the season. I'm gonna go work on my speech...

[ShoogarBear]

Here's mine:

"I don't know what to do anymore. I guess I'll just have to go home and sleep on it in my big King-sized bed with the comfy extra-Spur mattress. Did I say 'Spur'? I meant soft. Soft mattress."

[Amuseddaysleeper]

Ladies and Gentlemen.....and Francisco


There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone.

and now that I have, I am announcing my retirement.

Later slackers and say hello to Scott Skiles

- Pop

(cue Skiles barging in and telling TD to take his headphones off)

[timmy21_4rings]

Let us do it right way. I am going to my wine yard and I will be back next season...Guys, anyone wants to enroll yourself in injured list, you may do so at anytime..Others do not need to play...Ball will bounce our way in lottery and we will get another humble 7-footer...RC will be your interim coach for the reminder of the season.. Let us have some red wine now and see you next season..

[mrsmaalox]

"I'll be back in a few minutes; gotta get this prescription for Levitra filled."

[ChumpDumper]

Wine yard?

[Findog]

Is this the year the "Spurs are old" cliche comes true? Stay tuned....

[ChumpDumper]

It's true every other year.

[samikeyp]

"Stop playing like pussies!"

:toast

[Vingianx]

They are just fine tunning their game...

[timvp]

"I thought they were much more physical than us and knew what they wanted to do. We just didn't have the wherewithal on either end for 48 minutes. If we continue to play soft and uninterested for stretches, we’re not good. We have to re-focus on the small things."

That was the most Pop-isms I could pack into 50 words.

[Findog]

Mavs played like shit for a while and they're back on track more or less. I don't know that we'll finally win a title but I think we're primed for a deep playoff run. When all is said and done, I'd be shocked if the Mavs and Spurs don't meet in the conference Finals. Of course that assumes they'll be on opposite sides of the bracket. But you know what I mean. Cleveland sucks, no way a healthy and motivated Spurs team should lose to LeBron and 11 D-Leaguers. They didn't last June. If the Spurs are still sucking after the RRT, then I'd be worried. Guys are just not going to maintain focus for 82 games, especially when they've already won a title.

[timvp]

Mavs played like shit for a while and they're back on track more or less. I don't know that we'll finally win a title but I think we're primed for a deep playoff run. When all is said and done, I'd be shocked if the Mavs and Spurs don't meet in the conference Finals. Of course that assumes they'll be on opposite sides of the bracket. But you know what I mean. Cleveland sucks, no way a healthy and motivated Spurs team should lose to LeBron and 11 D-Leaguers. They didn't last June. If the Spurs are still sucking after the RRT, then I'd be worried. Guys are just not going to maintain focus for 82 games, especially when they've already won a title.This doesn't sound like something Pop would say.

:wtf

[Findog]

This doesn't sound like something Pop would say.

:wtf

Didn't realize that was the point of the thread.
:lol

But you're right, he's definitely not going to tell them they're winners just for trying and take them out for ice cream after tonight's loss. I just think the Spurs will be fine long-term.

[timmy21_4rings]

Guys, there is no such thing as even year...Everything is odd year....Let us play for championship now...

Barry, you will continue to be on all our trade talks...Listen, we can not trade Finley's 1.5 or 2+ million and expect to get a good player..No one wants our bench players..So, it is your head again...

Guys, you have to play either with Barry or without Barry..Let's play now..

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

"Right now you guys look like the stars of 'twogirlsonecup' minus the two girls. So you've got two choices:
1. Get your heads screwed on straight and stop playing like lumps of soft serve shit.
2. Prepare for the playoffs by stocking up on KY and learning how to say, "Please be gentle with us, sir" in German.

If you guys go with option number two, Tony will be leading the drills at tomorrow's practice. I'm pretty sure that's the first line of the French national anthem, isn't it?"

[timmy21_4rings]

Guys, there is no such thing as even year...Everything is odd year....Let us play for championship now...

Barry, you will continue to be on all our trade talks...Listen, we can not trade Finley's 1.5 or 2+ million and expect to get a good player..No one wants our bench players..So, it is your head again...

Guys, you have to play either with Barry or without Barry..Let's play now..

[timvp]

"Right now you guys look like the stars of 'twogirlsonecup' minus the two girls. So you've got two choices:
1. Get your heads screwed on straight and stop playing like lumps of soft serve shit.
2. Prepare for the playoffs by stocking up on KY and learning how to say, "Please be gentle with us, sir" in German.

If you guys go with option number two, Tony will be leading the drills at tomorrow's practice. I'm pretty sure that's the first line of the French national anthem, isn't it?"Winner.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Winner.
Well, there's a silver lining to tonight after all. Is there a prize with this?

[Budkin]

"There's nothing I can say that will motivate you to play better. No trade I can make that will make this team better. This is our team, and we're going to win with what we have... even if it is just a bunch of soft ass pussies..."

[polandprzem]

"You know I love you guys, but the way you are playing lately and I'm coaching lately it is unacceptable for America to have such tam like spurs. So I talked to commissioner Stern about this and the decission to move whole oragization to Poland and play in polish leauge is the only way we could earn a bit of respect, and maybe we will win some games with the cheerleader team."

"btw: you must buy tickets on your own.

Now I'm gonna get some wine..."

[ShoogarBear]

Winner.This doesn't sound like something Pop would say.

:wtf



Well, there's a silver lining to tonight after all. Is there a prize with this?
http://www.paskesz.com/big/marchmellowmini.jpg

[polandprzem]

" Forget the wine, gimme some vodka !!1 "

[Duncanoypi]

"forget the losing, im number #1 in our fantasy league, I've traded you timmy + tony for Lebron James...Lets get back to work come playoff time"- Pop

[urunobili]

This doesn't sound like something Pop would say.
is timpv the official judge?

[polandprzem]

Don't say official :rolleyes

[ancestron]

You guys are playing like old people fuck.

[SAGambler]

You guys are playing like old people fuck.

Don't old people fuck like it may be the last time?

I acually wish the Spurs were playing like old people fuck... :elephant

[ClingingMars]

"Guys, the Suns are playing better than us right now...we can't allow our fans to be embarrassed much longer."

-Mars

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

http://www.paskesz.com/big/marchmellowmini.jpg
:hungry:

You don't think I'm obtuse! You really, really don't think I'm obtuse!

[ancestron]

Don't old people fuck like it may be the last time?

I acually wish the Spurs were playing like old people fuck... :elephant


Thats an interesting way to look at it I suppose, but I was thinking more along the lines of slow and sloppy.

[Findog]

No Basketball For Old Men

[ShoogarBear]

No Basketball For Old Men:lmao

[Findog]

Any reason why Kori and timvp are locking the troll threads so early? Usually they just let them sink off the frontpage due to their own inherent suckiness. Is it circle the wagons and a touchy time to be a Spurs fan right now? I thought you guys knew better than anybody else that Pop is just doing his usual SPAM thing.

[FromWayDowntown]

I'm thinking about a MadLib form for a soft speech.

[ShoogarBear]

Any reason why Kori and timvp are locking the troll threads so early? Usually they just let them sink off the frontpage due to their own inherent suckiness. Is it circle the wagons and a touchy time to be a Spurs fan right now? I thought you guys knew better than anybody else that Pop is just doing his usual SPAM thing.No, it's circle the wagon time when timvp does a "Mav Fan post here and you get banned" thread.

[Kori Ellis]

Any reason why Kori and timvp are locking the troll threads so early? Usually they just let them sink off the frontpage due to their own inherent suckiness. Is it circle the wagons and a touchy time to be a Spurs fan right now? I thought you guys knew better than anybody else that Pop is just doing his usual SPAM thing.

One guy started four threads saying the same thing within an hour isn't so early.

[ShoogarBear]

This shit needs to happen tonight. At halftime.

[timvp]

"Good job, guys. Getting outrebounded by 10 in one half is what happens when I decide to start Brent Barry at power forward. Coach Bud do you want to suit up for the second half?"

[polandprzem]

"Good job, guys. Getting outrebounded by 10 in one half is what happens when I decide to start Brent Barry at power forward. Coach Bud do you want to suit up for the second half?"

wow

what a soft speach :clap