Carnac
01-20-2008, 07:47 PM
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German scientist discovers new "Pulingout" method
April 5, 1859
(From the news wires) - German scientist Dr. Hanz Pulingout has discovered a new technique, termed the "Pulingout Method", that will change how the world concludes sexual intercourse.
According to Pulingout, the male, right before ejaculation, removes his penis any of the even orifices, and uses his (or partner's) hands to manually pump the semen out. This could also prove as an effective method of "Birth control", as the method prevents, in some cases, a pregnancy since the semen is no longer in danger of fertilizing a female egg. This also increases the male "machismo".
His new discovery has been lauded and cheered by scientists and men around the world. Women were not reached for comment.
Critics and proponents fear this new method may someday lead to the possibility of sexual relations without a partner.
"This is a terrific new discovery that will forever change how men approach intimacy," said Pulingout at a news conference in Switzerland. "In the past, men did not have an option when it come to orgasm. Now, we have so many choices."
According to Pulingout, those choices include, but are not limited to, emitting the ejaculit on the face, eyes, nose, ears, hair, undercarriage, chest, stomach, fruit tray, neck, hat, feet, doornob, hindquarters, hooves, tail, phonograph record player, tea service, gullet, rearview mirror, toothbrush, back, water fountain, mustache, gloves, picnic blankets, pickled cucumbers, eyeglasses, mouth, and, for most men, simply into the toilet.
The new technique has also uncovered new information about ejaculation. Particularly the fact the semen, in most cases, is white, not the souless color black, as previously claimed by clergy.
The new technique has been accepted by all countries except China, which claims it does not have, nor does it foresee, a population problem.
German scientist discovers new "Pulingout" method
April 5, 1859
(From the news wires) - German scientist Dr. Hanz Pulingout has discovered a new technique, termed the "Pulingout Method", that will change how the world concludes sexual intercourse.
According to Pulingout, the male, right before ejaculation, removes his penis any of the even orifices, and uses his (or partner's) hands to manually pump the semen out. This could also prove as an effective method of "Birth control", as the method prevents, in some cases, a pregnancy since the semen is no longer in danger of fertilizing a female egg. This also increases the male "machismo".
His new discovery has been lauded and cheered by scientists and men around the world. Women were not reached for comment.
Critics and proponents fear this new method may someday lead to the possibility of sexual relations without a partner.
"This is a terrific new discovery that will forever change how men approach intimacy," said Pulingout at a news conference in Switzerland. "In the past, men did not have an option when it come to orgasm. Now, we have so many choices."
According to Pulingout, those choices include, but are not limited to, emitting the ejaculit on the face, eyes, nose, ears, hair, undercarriage, chest, stomach, fruit tray, neck, hat, feet, doornob, hindquarters, hooves, tail, phonograph record player, tea service, gullet, rearview mirror, toothbrush, back, water fountain, mustache, gloves, picnic blankets, pickled cucumbers, eyeglasses, mouth, and, for most men, simply into the toilet.
The new technique has also uncovered new information about ejaculation. Particularly the fact the semen, in most cases, is white, not the souless color black, as previously claimed by clergy.
The new technique has been accepted by all countries except China, which claims it does not have, nor does it foresee, a population problem.