Advice Wanted- ( Serious answers please)

[angel_luv]

Bear with me. There are questions after all this explanation.

Okay this is the situation.

A male co-worker asked me if I would like to go out and have dinner.

This is someone whom works on the same floor with me so I see him most shifts for a few minutes but is not someone I have ever worked closely with.

The guy has always acted pretty shy around me and as a result makes me feel awkward. I always catching him watching me as I go about my work, looking as if he is going to start a conversation.
But then when I stop and say hello, answers only in monosyllables.


Needless to say, I wasn't expecting this guy to ask me out.

My first inclination was to say no to him since I am not attracted to him.
(I like guys who are outgoing and confident.)

But I said " okay" because I felt that maybe it would be unfair for me to say no.
I basically said yes because I wasn't sure it would be right to refuse to have dinner with a guy just because I am not attracted to him.
I mean, how can I say that I don't like someone I don't know and how would I know someone unless I take the time to talk to them?

That was my logic anyway.

The guy seemed genuinely shocked that I said yes, which to be honest was a slight turn off.
(I don't like arrogant guys but I like the timid, self slighting types either. )

The guy asked me for my number and I gave him my home one since that seemed safer to me.
(I didn't say it was my home number; is just the one I gave him.)

I had to ask the guy his name because I didn't know it.

So what's the issue?

My problem is that the second I gave the guy my number, I felt super sick- sick as in a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, sick with l a " what have I done?" sort of feeling.

I can't decide what caused me to feel that way. I don't know if it it were my instincts telling me not trust or associate with this guy.
Or maybe I am just nervous because 1) I haven't really gone out much and 2) I am not sure I am going to have a nice time with this guy.
(I am afraid that I am going to have to carry the conversation and that even so there is going to be all sorts of awkward silence.)

I played it cool in front of the guy but inside I was having a serious panic attack.
As soon as I could get alone, I called a gal pal for advice.


My friend heard me out and the gave me the following counsel:
1) Meet the guy; don't let him drive me.
2) Make sure to go eat somewhere that I felt comfortable
3) Pay my own way so that it would not be a date
4) Be sure to part ways right after dinner.
5) Know that if I didn't have fun, I never had to go to dinner with the again.


That made sense to me.
On my own I added to the list: 6) to make sure we eat somewhere super casual and 7) that we meet early in the evening.

Even so, I still feel uncomfortable about the dinner and that is why I am confused about how to proceed.

I do believe in following my instincts but am not positive that an un quantifiable gut feeling is a valid reason to cancel on the guy.

It seems like should be safe if I stick to my friend's advice, so I am not sure what I am worried about.

I talked about this with my land lady ( she is older; in her 70's and is my guardian of sorts) and also with my roommate, whom is my age.
They basically echoed my first friend's advice.

So far, the only person to feel strongly otherwise is my mom.
Mom thinks that the nervous feeling I have could very well mean that the guy is not safe- that I should not ignore my instincts.
Also, mom feels that by agreeing to go to dinner with a guy I am not attracted to is not giving him a chance, but leading him on.
Mom said it would be the kinder thing to just cancel the dinner.

I have three primary concerns in this:

1) My safety and well being
2) Preserving the guy's feelings as best I can
and 3) Not causing an awkward/ ugly situation for myself since I do
have to work on the same floor as this person.

So, I would like to know (from the guys especially) what you think about the situation.
Am I leading the guy on?

And some general questions to everyone:

In your experience, how important are instincts when it comes to socializing alone with someone of the opposite sex?

Do any of you remember having a similar experience to this one?
If so, how did you handle it? And, how did it turn out?


Thanks!

[TDMVPDPOY]

pitb on the first date yay ftw

[Fillmoe]

just tell him you just found out that you are HIV positive

[RashoFan]

Maybe meet him for a coffee at Starbuck's at The Quarry and let us know when you are going to meet him there so the rest of us can meet there"unexpectedly" and save ya if it is not going well.

[RashoFan]

Fill, that is just sooo wrong! :nope

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Just cancel.

If the outcome has already been decided, why even play the game?

[angel_luv]

Maybe meet him for a coffee at Starbuck's at The Quarry and let us know when you are going to meet him there so the rest of us can meet there"unexpectedly" and save ya if it is not going well.

The only thing I don't like about meeting someone you are not sure about for coffee is that at least with a meal, the waiter is going to drop a check so you'll pay and free up the table.
Coffee seems like it would be harder to end.

But definitely, when I know for sure where and what time I am going, I will pm you the info.

[angel_luv]

Just cancel.

If the outcome has already been decided, why even play the game?


Are you being serious or facetious?

[Fillmoe]

Fill, that is just sooo wrong! :nope


why so? it works

[Sapphire]

Be straight with him first. Tell him that you really feel like you don't know anything about him. Going for coffee first sounds like a great plan--during the day at a busy place. If he creeps you out, or you just don't like him after that for whatever reason, don't feel obligated to spend any more time with him. Who knows? He may end up being "the one" or he may end up being "ewww, that one."

Make sure you have a planned-ahead call from one of your friends, with code words already worked out. You say "geranium" and all of a sudden you have a family emergency on the line. You say "gerbil" and y'all are gettin' a room, don't call back. J/K--I know by your posts you are a nice girl.

good luck!

[Kori Ellis]

Just cancel.

If the outcome has already been decided, why even play the game?

That's what I would say too. What's the point of going out with someone you are so determined that you aren't going to like?

You are already dead set that you aren't going to like him. You listed tons of reasons why you don't like him already (not attractive, not confident, too shy, etc). You aren't doing him any favors by going out on a pity date with him. I think going on the date would be extremely weak and selfish. (Unless you are actually going to give him a legitimate chance.)

[ploto]

You have no obligation to spend time voluntarily with anyone with whom you do not want to. Tell him you thought it over and you think it would be better not to date a co-worker- which is actually true.

The feeling in your gut could be some sense that it might not be safe-- or it might rather be your gut knowing that you went against your true feelings.

[T Park]

Honesty is the best policy angel.

Guys respect an honest woman way more than one that says one thing but does another.

[angel_luv]

Maybe then I ought to just tell him that I am only interested in being friends and let him decide whether or not we still meet for dinner.
And I can insist that if we do meet, that we go dutch.

That seems fair.

[easjer]

While I think instincts are good to listen to, I wouldn't completely cancel just because I had a sinking feeling. I agree with your friends that your list should keep you relatively safe and secure.

As for whether or not that's ever happened - well, before I met SFIE, I was pissed off that he was stuck in my group of freshmen. Because I didn't want to get to know him, I figured he would be a jerk like his brother and their friends. I didn't have any choice - but it turned out ok for us.

I don't know whether or not you are leading the guy on - I mean, if you think that you might be at all interested in getting to know him better (and not just interviewing him for future husband material) then I don't think you are leading him on. I do tend to agree with Disgruntled Lion Fan, though - it does sound as if you are pretty damn sure this is a mistake and you seem pretty determined that you will not like this guy or have anything to say to him. Given that - it may not be worth it. If you were truly uncertain, I'd say go for it - the results can be surprising when you open yourself up to going outside what you think you like or are looking for (again, that's how my husband and I got together - and he is so much better for me and makes me so much happier than the guys I was dating and what I thought I was looking for).

[1Parker1]

That's what I would say too. What's the point of going out with someone you are so determined that you aren't going to like?

You are already dead set that you aren't going to like him. You listed tons of reasons why you don't like him already (not attractive, not confident, too shy, etc). You aren't doing him any favors by going out on a pity date with him. I think going on the date would be extremely weak and selfish. (Unless you are actually going to give him a legitimate chance.)


:tu Yea...just imagine if the situation were reversed. How would you feel if a guy said yes to going out with you but he wasn't really attracted to you and didn't feel his personality matched yours, but said yes just out of pity? If he calls, just say something came up and you can't make it.

I don't understand where this weird feeling came from....is it a fear that he's like a dangerous guy? Based off what you said; shy, timid, etc. seems weird that you would fear a guy like that without really knowing anything about him...maybe that's where the fear is coming from. Can't you ask around the office or someone at work what his deal is? Regardless, I guess it is better to be safe than sorry.

I see no reason to go on a date with someone you're not interested in.

[1Parker1]

PS I hope you have caller ID on your home phone...:lol

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

I would think your home phone number isn't the safe one, unless it's unlisted.

[NorCal510]

I would put in my say but I think what is said above summarizes it all.

[angel_luv]

:tu Yea...just imagine if the situation were reversed. How would you feel if a guy said yes to going out with you but he wasn't really attracted to you and didn't feel his personality matched yours, but said yes just out of pity?

I didn't say yes out of pity but more out of ignorance- I.E. lack of experience of how to be true to myself without making rash judgments.


I know that some people improve upon acquaintance and, as our work place set up is not condusive to my ever getting to know him better there, it only seemed fair to say yes to his dinner request.


I was trying to do the kind thing but apparently I failed miserably.

[angel_luv]

I would think your home phone number isn't the safe one, unless it's unlisted.


Well, too late now.

[1Parker1]

I would think your home phone number isn't the safe one, unless it's unlisted.

Yea, I was gonna say the same thing...it's safer to give your cell # to someone than your home # I would think...

[T Park]

If he calls, just say something came up and you can't make it.


Or just tell him the truth.

Why lie?

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Or just ask for his number if you're that worried about it.

[1Parker1]

I didn't say yes out of pity but more out of ignorance- I.E. lack of experience of how to be true to myself without making rash judgments.


I know that some people improve upon acquaintance and, as our work place set up is not condusive to my ever getting to know him better there, it only seemed fair to say yes to his dinner request.


I was trying to do the kind thing but apparently I failed miserably.

Well, you just admitted you were trying to be kind by saying yes...isn't that sort of the same thing as a pity yes?

Regardless, like I said, dig out more details on him. Or you can get to know him a little over the phone first before you go out with him. When he calls you, just ask him stuff about his life or whatever over the phone to get a feel for if he's "safe and normal" I guess...

Regardless, it just seems like there are about 59 different reasons that say you don't want to go out with this guy, and about 0 reasons that say why you should...

Your Prince Charming will come one day soon :)

[Pistons < Spurs]

You have no obligation to spend time voluntarily with anyone with whom you do not want to. Tell him you thought it over and you think it would be better not to date a co-worker- which is actually true.



Agreed.

You're obviously not comfortable with the entire situation, and according to your own words are somewhat turned off by him. It would seem to me to make little sense in continuing with the 'date'.

While I don't know if I believe in the whole womanly intuition thing :) I don't think you should put yourself into a scenario where you're making yourself sick with worry. If you feel this way now, who'se to say you won't feel worse during the date.

My fear is, knowing how nice you are, you'll put yourself through hell just to avoid hurting his feelings. Be honest to yourself, and to him.

Leading him on? Not really...but I think it'd be a lot less awkward for both you and him, to decline the invitation now rather than have him asking you out again at the end of the evening.

Go with the 'not comfortable going out with a co-worker' story. It's simpler and nicer than saying he's freaked you out!

And by saying no now....is no reason that you can't get to know him more on the job. Talk to him during the next couple of weeks in passing. Maybe he becomes less shy, and you no longer have any of the fears that you currently do. You can always say yes to going out with him down the road if things become more agreeable to you.

If you do decide to go through it though...follow your friends advice. Decide on a place that you know and feel comfortable with. Meet him there. And pay your own way.

[angel_luv]

Or just tell him the truth.

Why lie?

Yea. I'm not going to lie.

[Melmart1]

Is it possible that feeling is really just your own fear since you have very little dating experience? I've seen people panic before in that situation, when they are getting their toes wet in the dating pool.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Or just tell him the truth.

Why lie?


Wait...what? You think by calling him and telling him that she isn't attracted to him, she's scared of him and it would be a pity date that the guy would respect her more?

Too much.

Just cancel and say that with the work thing it wouldn't be a bright idea.

/thread

[Kori Ellis]

Just simply tell him that you apologize but after you thought about it, you decided that you aren't ready to go on a date with him. Pretty basic.

[angel_luv]

Well, you just admitted you were trying to be kind by saying yes...isn't that sort of the same thing as a pity yes?
I hadn't thought in those terms but I guess you are right.


Your Prince Charming will come one day soon

Thanks, although I am in no rush.


Thank you everyone for your insight. I appreciate it.

[lefty]

First of all, your Mom is right.

Every time I don't follow my instincts I regret it. Instinct is powerful stuff.

Tell him you didn't wear your glasses the day he asked you out, so he'll think it wasn't your fault.

But seriously, if you tell him you are not really attracted to him, it will hurt his feelings and shake his already poor confidence. Honesty is not always a wise decision.

Tell him things were kind of shaky with your non-existent boyfriend (Rasho?), and now you're back together.

[angel_luv]

Lefty, my mom would love you for telling me she is right. :) :lol

And I assure you, I wasn't planning on saying that I wasn't attracted to him.


You know what though?

I wish that going to dinner with someone could just be going to dinner- as in two people having a conversation and learning about each other no strings attached.

I feel so trapped with guys because unless I've spent time with a person, I can't know (other than first impression )what I think about them.

But I feel like my only alternatives are to make a rash judgment ( I.E. only agree to spend time with guys I am instantly or already interested in) or potentially lead a guy on.

How does anyone win here?

[lefty]

Lefty, my mom would love you for telling me she is right. :) :lol

And I assure you, I wasn't planning on saying that I wasn't attracted to him.


You know what though?

I wish that going to dinner with someone could just be going to dinner- as in two people having a conversation and learning about each other no strings attached.

I feel so trapped with guys because unless I've spent time with a person, I can't know (other than first impression )what I think about them.

But I feel like my only alternatives are to make a rash judgment ( I.E. only agree to spend time with guys I am instantly or already interested in) or potentially lead a guy on.

How does anyone win here?

Only with Todd Gak

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

How does anyone win here?

By relaxing.

[angel_luv]

Only with Todd Gak


I don't know who that is.

[Kori Ellis]

I wish that going to dinner with someone could just be going to dinner- as in two people having a conversation and learning about each other no strings attached

That's what a dinner date usually is. I think you have a date-phobia :)

[lefty]

I don't know who that is.

You should watch Seinfeld more often.

But again, I'm a big Seinfeld nerd :nerd :nerd

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

That's what a dinner date usually is. I think you have a date-phobia :)


I bring GHB just for kicks.

[Kori Ellis]

I bring GHB just for kicks.

Stop scaring her!

[T Park]

Do what Kori said.

Shes a wise woman.

You've had second thoughts, your not ready for the date scene, thanks but no thanks.

Straight and simple.

[angel_luv]

That's what a dinner date usually is. I think you have a date-phobia :)


Maybe. Likely. Very likely.

But the impression I got from the responses in this thread is that since I was not immediately intrigued by this guy that it would be selfish, misleading etc to go to the dinner.

You guys have to realize that I've never dated and so all the questions and jitters you guys had when you were fourteen or whatever, I've yet to fully work through.

I have no clue what I am doing.

Although I guess that's apparent.

[angel_luv]

I bring GHB just for kicks.


And that is????

You know what, don't tell me. Listen to Kori and don't scare me.

[T Park]

your not missing much Angel.

Follow your gut. It won't lead you wrong.

[Kori Ellis]

Maybe. Likely. Very likely.

But the impression I got from the responses in this thread is that since I was not immediately intrigued by this guy that it would be selfish, misleading etc to go to the dinner.


No.. you don't have to like the guy already to go to dinner with him. The reason that I said you shouldn't go is because by your initial post in this thread, it sounds like you are dead set on not liking him. Like you have already made up your mind.. you mentioned about five things that you don't like about him.

IF you are so sure you aren't going to like him, then don't waste his time (or yours) on going out with him.

IF you are going into the date with an open mind and actually interested in getting to know him, then go out with him.

That's the difference.

The reason I called you selfish is because it seems by the first post that you are not interested in him at all, but you are considering a dinner date out of pity (and the fact you freaked out and couldn't say no).

You just need to figure it out.

Are you going to give him a chance? If so, go to dinner with him.

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

You don't have to blame it on exes or anything like that.

Just tell him you have thought about it and you don't really want to go down the road of going out with someone you work with. It's a valid reason, and it gets you off the hook.

[Sapphire]

The only way to conquer your fears is to face them head on. I think you should proceed. Besides, he could just be a "practice guy." You need to start dating at some point, don't you?

[lefty]

I like the "practice guy" idea.

[Pistons < Spurs]

You could always invite him to go out with you and a girlfriend or two. That way it's less of a 'date' atmosphere, and perhaps less stressful. Plus having friends around is good to keep conversations rolling especially if he's as timid as he appears. It may give you a better chance at evaluating things. Plus you can ride with one of your friends...so you're obligated to end the night when your friend is ready to go.

[Sapphire]

your not missing much Angel.

Follow your gut. It won't lead you wrong.

I beg to differ here that she is not missing much. You may not have a good experience with it, but she's a vibrant young woman that seems to want to have a good time. Dating is a normal, healthy part of growing up and finding out not only about other people, but more importantly, about yourself.

[PM5K]

I didn't read this all but it seems like a damn long post over just going on a date with a guy, I mean shit he's probably not going to rape you in the butt or anything.

What's the worst that could happen, a bad date with a guy you never talk to and didn't even know his name?

I thought this was going to be about dating a co-worker, but you don't even know him...

[Pistons < Spurs]

I beg to differ here that she is not missing much. You may not have a good experience with it, but she's a vibrant young woman that seems to want to have a good time. Dating is a normal, healthy part of growing up and finding out not only about other people, but more importantly, about yourself.
Well said!

[Pistons < Spurs]

The only way to conquer your fears is to face them head on. I think you should proceed. Besides, he could just be a "practice guy." You need to start dating at some point, don't you?
:depressed I think I've been the 'practice' guy a few too many times.

[T Park]

You may not have a good experience with it, but she's a vibrant young woman that seems to want to have a good time. Dating is a normal, healthy part of growing up and finding out not only about other people, but more importantly, about yourself.

I didn't even mean by dating.

I meant by

oh forget it.

[T Park]

I think I've been the 'practice' guy a few too many times.

well when the woman says "You be shirts..."

practice comes to mind :)

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

:depressed I think I've been the 'practice' guy a few too many times.


Sounds better than pity date, doesn't it?

Dating is easy when you stop caring. Relax, go with the flow and keep an open mind.

And if all else fails, drink. Heavily.

[mrsmaalox]

That's what I would say too. What's the point of going out with someone you are so determined that you aren't going to like?

You are already dead set that you aren't going to like him. You listed tons of reasons why you don't like him already (not attractive, not confident, too shy, etc). You aren't doing him any favors by going out on a pity date with him. I think going on the date would be extremely weak and selfish. (Unless you are actually going to give him a legitimate chance.)

I think Kori is the most on track here. Your mind seems well made up. But in the future remember "not attractive" could mean he is very attractive on the inside. "not confident" could mean he's reserved and respectful. "Too shy" could mean he is like very much like you---inexperienced. As far as dating someone from work, I don't think there is anything wrong with that; as long as it is discreet and you are not prone to drama, you already have something in common to talk about and break the ice. Also, at least you know he is employed! I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, because I would like others to be equally as considerate of me, especially if they don't really know me or much about me. I think you should tell him the truth; you are uncomfortable and would liketo talk to him more. Then have him call you acoupleoftimes and talk on the phone alot. You'll get a better feel for him and decide easier if you want to date him or at least how many of the previously mentioned "precautions" you'll need to take. He could actually be feeling the exact same way as you! Keep in mind that finding the right person is not easy and sometimes you need to take a risk; Prince Charming is not just going to show up at your doorstep. Good luck!!

[T Park]

And if all else fails, drink. Heavily

Wich she wont do cause she doesn't drink...

[Sapphire]

:depressed I think I've been the 'practice' guy a few too many times.
Awww, don't feel bad. Anyone who's ever been on a date that didn't lead anywhere was technically a "practice guy/girl."

[T Park]

I think Kori is the most on track here. Your mind seems well made up. But in the future remember "not attractive" could mean he is very attractive on the inside. "not confident" could mean he's reserved and respectful. "Too shy" could mean he is like very much like you---inexperienced. As far as dating someone from work, I don't think there is anything wrong with that; as long as it is discreet and you are not prone to drama, you already have something in common to talk about and break the ice. Also, at least you know he is employed! I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, because I would like others to be equally as considerate of me, especially if they don't really know me or much about me. I think you should tell him the truth; you are uncomfortable and would liketo talk to him more. Then have him call you acoupleoftimes and talk on the phone alot. You'll get a better feel for him and decide easier if you want to date him or at least how many of the previously mentioned "precautions" you'll need to take. He could actually be feeling the exact same way as you! Keep in mind that finding the right person is not easy and sometimes you need to take a risk; Prince Charming is not just going to show up at your doorstep. Good luck!!




Very well said.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Awww, don't feel bad. Anyone who's ever been on a date that didn't lead anywhere was technically a "practice guy/girl."


Technically, dates that lead somewhere can be labeled "practice" as well.

[angel_luv]

Are you going to give him a chance? If so, go to dinner with him.


I am not looking to date the guy, if that is what you mean by giving him a chance.

That said, I am willing to go out to dinner with him if we can go dutch and if the focus is getting to know each other as friends only.

When ( if) he calls, that is what I will tell him and then he can decide if he still wants to meet up or not.

[Sapphire]

I didn't even mean by dating.

I meant by

oh forget it.
OK, maybe you meant she's not missing much regarding the GHB post. But you told her that if she had second thoughts then she is not ready for the dating scene. WTF??? So if you have second thoughts about things, you're not ready for them? I wholeheartedly disagree.

[Sapphire]

Technically, dates that lead somewhere can be labeled "practice" as well.

:hat True dat.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

OK, maybe you meant she's not missing much regarding the GHB post.


I'd love that to be the reason.

:lol

[PM5K]

I don't think it's the greatest idea to judge a guy before you know him, you could certainly end up liking the guy, you obviously haven't even given him a chance, and you obviously don't know much about him considering you didn't even know his name.

[Kori Ellis]

I am not looking to date the guy, if that is what you mean by giving him a chance.

Yes, that's what I figured by your initial post. So that's why you shouldn't go out on a dinner date.

If he wants to hang out as friends, that's fine. But I doubt he will. He obviously asked you out on a date. Dates are for people who are interested in MAYBE being more than friends down the line.

But just to clarify, there's no strings attached just because you go on a date. Accepting a date just means that you are open to perhaps getting to know the person more than platonically.

[Kori Ellis]

I don't think it's the greatest idea to judge a guy before you know him, you could certainly end up liking the guy, you obviously haven't even given him a chance, and you obviously don't know much about him considering you didn't even know his name.

That's what I thought too. But it seems like she already decided that she won't ever being interested in him for anything more than friendship. And if that's the case, she shouldn't waste his time.

[angel_luv]

I don't think it's the greatest idea to judge a guy before you know him, you could certainly end up liking the guy, you obviously haven't even given him a chance, and you obviously don't know much about him considering you didn't even know his name.


I realize this.

My concern is that I don't want to be careless with his emotions- make him think that I might develop feelings when there is a chance I might never.

If he would like for me to sit down to dinner and get to know him better, that I can do.
But beyond that I can't make any promises.

And it isn't like I am actively seeking a boyfriend.

I look forward to the time when those romantic feelings come and are reciporcated.
That just has not happen yet and so I am happily without a boyfriend.

[Pistons < Spurs]

Yes, that's what I figured by your initial post. So that's why you shouldn't go out on a dinner date.

If he wants to hang out as friends, that's fine. But I doubt he will. He obviously asked you out on a date. Dates are for people who are interested in MAYBE being more than friends down the line.


Bingo.

[Kori Ellis]

My concern is that I don't want to be careless with his emotions- make him think that I might develop feelings when there is a chance I might never.


You do realize that with every person that you ever go out with there is a chance that you might never develop feelings for him.

There's also a chance that you might develop feelings for him and he might develop no feelings for you whatsoever.

Even if you see a guy who makes you starry eyed at first sight, there's still a chance that you might never develop feelings for him.

[angel_luv]

That's what I thought too. But it seems like she already decided that she won't ever being interested in him for anything more than friendship. And if that's the case, she shouldn't waste his time.


I should have mentioned earlier, I have worked around this guy for over a year and so my saying " hi, how are you?" and him answering in monosyllables has gone on for a long time.

It's not like I just met him and instantly concluded that he is shy and reserved and not super confident.
I have never seen him really interact with anyone.

[angel_luv]

You do realize that with every person that you ever go out with there is a chance that you might never develop feelings for him.

There's also a chance that you might develop feelings for him and he might develop no feelings for you whatsoever.

Even if you see a guy who makes you starry eyed at first sight, there's still a chance that you might never develop feelings for him.


I am most likely to be one of those girls who has a best guy pal and then suddenly one day realizes she is in love with him.

That seems like me.

[Kori Ellis]

I am most likely to be one of those girls who has a best guy pal and then suddenly one day realizes she is in love with him.

That seems like me.

:lol That's cute.

[Man of Steel]

Tell him he has to ask your brother for permission to ask you out...



http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x30/dawar31/godfather.jpg

[Man of Steel]

I am most likely to be one of those girls who has a best guy pal and then suddenly one day realizes she is in love with him.

That seems like me.

Or...

You might be saying this shit someday...



Julianne Potter: Michael... I love you. I've loved you for nine years, I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and... well, now I'm just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn't it?

Or this:


Julianne Potter: I'm pond scum. Well, lower actually. I'm like the fungus that feeds on pond scum.
Michael O'Neill: Lower. The pus that infects the mucus that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum. On the other hand, thank you for loving me that much, that way. It's pretty flattering.
Julianne Potter: Except it makes me fungus.

[baseline bum]

You should just tell him no. Not dating people you work with is a good idea, but if you tell him that it sounds like a lie and a cheap excuse to back out.

From your post it seems like you aren't at all interested in even being friends, so why go on what will be almost certainly be a miserable date for the both of you? His confidence will be even worse when he thinks he blew it by being lame on the date.

Don't try to please people. You messed up by telling him yes, but don't go any further with it. Just tell him "I'm sorry, but I don't want to go out." Of course it will hurt him since he no doubt thinks you like him right now, but put yourself first.

I don't like the idea of giving people that you're not attracted to chances to make you want them. You can't disregard physical attraction, and if it's not there at the start, it will most likely never be.

[Man of Steel]

Actually--

Dating people at work can be a lot of fun...



http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p179/clark101857/capt03ef2bac1fdc4218be9826c21faa053.jpg

[baseline bum]

Is it possible that feeling is really just your own fear since you have very little dating experience? I've seen people panic before in that situation, when they are getting their toes wet in the dating pool.

I don't like going against a first instinct, and Angel's sounds pretty clear. I highly doubt that's the case.

[Twisted_Dawg]

Wow...this thread is 5 hours old and has 80 posts spread over 4 pages.

DATING !!! Don't you just love it??!!

[TheSanityAnnex]

just fuck him. You would not waste this much bandwidth if you didnt want the cock

[Fillmoe]

true story

[JoeChalupa]

I wish you the best Angeluv. In all honesty, I used to be one of those timid, shy kind of guys. I even felt a little that way when I ran into you at the mall. But I guess confidence is something many women look for in a guy.
But you could also be pre-judging a very nice guy who simply is shy and perhaps thinks you would say no and nobody likes rejection. It may also be that he is aware of his own looks. There are some of us who know we are not the best looking and attractive guys out there and that does effect our confidence. It took awhile for me to realize that not all women have to have a man who is 10 to go out with them.
I've gone out with some very attractive women and married one who gave me the chance and we've been very happy together now for over 13 years. Granted, my wife did tell me afterwards that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she was totally unattracted to me but it wasn't my looks but my personality that made me attractive. Of course some women would find my personality a total turn off so who knows. What I'm trying to say is not to judge a book by it's cover because what is inside could very well be the story of your life.

I would play it safe like your friend recommended. Meet him on your terms. If you don't feel something then take is just dinner between two people. Dinner doesn't have to be a romantic time with sparks flying. Simply a meal with some polite conversation and a few laughs...then again it could turn out to be a very long, painful experience just getting through it.

I wish you the best of luck.

[Heath Ledger]

What you have done is how nice ladies end up in body bags, you have opened up the door to leading him on now thinking he has a chance, sooner or later you are going to drop the bomb on him if he truly is a creepo you could have a stalker on your hands or even worse.

[LuvBones]

Angeluv, I'm pretty sure your sinking gut feeling is just nerves. You haven't dated much so it's common to have that feeling. Plus, this guy has been eyeing you for over a year? If he wanted to hurt you or something, he would have done it a long time ago. It seems to me like he's just really shy. And that's something most people are at first, but that can go away once you get to know each other.

Going out to have dinner doesn't necessarily mean a date, or that you're dating. Personally, I would accept most invitations out because 1. you get to leave the house and get to know someone. 2. I think you should let him pay, because if the date sucked at least you got a free meal, and you don't have to see him (besides at work lol) again.

When I first met my boyfriend I thought immediately we would never be a couple. I told him up front that I didn't see us going any further than friends. I had a set "criteria" like you on what I looked for in a guy. But i'm so glad now that my boyfriend didn't give up trying to be with me because he has surpassed what I want in a man. So, you never know Angel. He could be your soulmate... and you won't take the chance to at least get to know him? Just my 2 cents... good luck Angel!

[angel_luv]

It may also be that he is aware of his own looks.


The guy is not bad looking- has some nice features and is certainly not ugly.

Appearance is not what gets my interest. I am attracted to charisma and humor, strength and confidence. If a guy is those things, there is an excellent chance I will think he is cute.

On the other hand, you can be a Brad Pitt look alike but if I think you are either arrogant or timid, I'm not going to dig you.

I think the issue with this situation is that when he asked me out he was thinking date and when I said yes I was thinking " How nice, conversation."
And then after I said yes, I realized, " Oh gosh... he thinks date." thus my panic.

It was a misunderstanding which I need to clear up.

[ploto]

I think that it really depends on why you go out. Some people go out just to go out. They will go out on a date with just about anyone for the opportunity or the experience or the free meal! Other people look at dating in a more serious manner. They think that dating is meant to help you find someone with whom you could have a relationship. They are not casual about it at all. That is each person's perogative. I am the second type. And, yes, it may lead to more nights alone at home, but I could not be any other way. I have been that way my entire life. Men tell me that they can tell immediately- that I am a woman you go out with when you are looking for a relationship. It also means, though, that a guy not in a position to start a relationship won't ask me out.

I have also learned in the past couple of years that while I can handle meeting a male friend alone for dinner, I don't do it anymore. The men I have encountered just don't seem to be able to do that. You both know you are just friends- you drive in separate cars- you split the check- but the guy can't help himself! It ruined two important friendships.

[Jelly]

Do not go out with this guy! At least not at this time. Nothing good can come of it for you or for him. I know exactly how you feel as I have been in the same situation several times. These dates always turned out horribly, and the situation just snowballed with me making up excuses afterwards as to why I couldn't go out again or even going to desperate lengths to try to hide from the guy. Honesty is not always easy, but it's always the best policy and will save you a lot of future headaches. I understand the guy is extremely shy and socially awkward and you didn't want to hurt his feelings. But you are setting yourself and him up for one lousy time and a very uncomfortable work situation afterwards. (trust me... you will really start dreading going to work). It was very weird for him to ask you out when you didn't even know his name and the two of you apparently haven't even conversed much -if at all- before. You should just say "thanks, but I don't really know you and I'd prefer to just cancel dinner... but my friends and I are going to the food court for lunch. Would you like to come?". If you make an effort to be friendly to him and chat with him at work, he might loosen up and you'll have a chance to see if you might actually enjoy spending time with him and then you can judge whether this is someone you might date. He put you in a very awkward position by catching you off guard like that. I know you felt cornered and your knee-jerk response was to give a nice, polite answer, but now that you've had some space you really should follow your instincts.
and btw - I really do feel for you : )

[Ronaldo McDonald]

angel luv, the date he asked you out on is one that is merely going to be an introductory date. he doesn't know you and you don't know him. it could develope into something or not.

and luv bones, are you a bum? free meal? not even a jew like myself would stoop to that level to save some money.

[JoeChalupa]

The guy is not bad looking- has some nice features and is certainly not ugly.

Appearance is not what gets my interest. I am attracted to charisma and humor, strength and confidence. If a guy is those things, there is an excellent chance I will think he is cute.

On the other hand, you can be a Brad Pitt look alike but if I think you are either arrogant or timid, I'm not going to dig you.

I think the issue with this situation is that when he asked me out he was thinking date and when I said yes I was thinking " How nice, conversation."
And then after I said yes, I realized, " Oh gosh... he thinks date." thus my panic.

It was a misunderstanding which I need to clear up.

I understand and I get the feeling that it isn't all about looks for someone like you. He is the lucky one.

[fatsack]

Just cancel.

If the outcome has already been decided, why even play the game?

2nd.

you should have never said yes.

[Sapphire]

Wow, this is a lot of angst for one meal.

Go or don't go.

Go and decide you don't ever want to go again/go and decide he's worth dating.

I doubt seriously that he is going to end up killing her/stalking her/whatever.

Put your big girl panties on and make a decision either way, then be grown-up enough to tell him the results of your decision. This, too, is part of being an adult.

Sorry to come across harshly, but seriously, it's one meal out of thousands that you are going to eat in your life. Could it really be that bad to just go and open your mind a bit?

[Wild Cobra]

Well Angel, some people get over shyness right away under the right circumstances. Maybe a single confidence booster like you could do it.

I have no clue about the guys character. However, he is a coworker and not someone you met just anywhere. I think it's likely your safer with him than some arrogant jerk.

As someone who was shy with the woman when I was younger, I would say you could have a diamond in the rough.

I would say take a chance. Take the valid advice of meeting rather than having him drive you. Keep yourself comfortable during the process. Make it someplace public that you are both comfortable with.

I support Sapphire's comments, but just don't ditch him for any small reason.

Has he called you? I know, it's only been a day, but be cautious if he calls too much. If he does, he may be trouble, or he might just be anxious. Play things by ear. Instinct is good, but I'll bet your instinct is more because of your concern of how others see you with him rather than your instinct of his character.

When I was in High School. I was more of a geek than with any 'clicks.' Those who are not part of a social group are afraid of being shunned, so they just don't associate with others much. I could talk all day about cars, electronics, physics, chemistry, etc. but didn't know the first thing about having an interesting conversation with women. The few girlfriends I had later, I treated very good. I ended up breaking off the relationships rather than them.


1) My safety and well being
You can stay safe easy enough


2) Preserving the guy's feelings as best I can
Then follow through. If you cancel, even if you say it's you, it could knock his self esteem. That may be why he's shy. At least following through could cause all that shyness to go away between him and you, you might like what you see when and if he opens up.


3) Not causing an awkward/ ugly situation for myself since I do have to work on the same floor as this person.
Any cancellation will become awkward. At least if you spend one date with him, you can tell him "You're just not what I'm looking for" and he has no reason to doubt something that can obviously be true. If it's awkward after that, he has issue. At least you aren't the cause.

I think your wanting to stay honest is good. If you tell him after a first date you are not interested in more dates, at least when said honestly, it is far more believable than what some of the flakes here have said to do. Be honest and maintaing your integrity. You'll feel better in the process.


My concern is that I don't want to be careless with his emotions- make him think that I might develop feelings when there is a chance I might never.
As long as you are honest, if he gets the wrong idea. Not your fault. Besides, "might never" is nothing solid.


If he would like for me to sit down to dinner and get to know him better, that I can do.
But beyond that I can't make any promises.
Why would anyone think otherwise?

Then don't listen to those telling you to cancel.

I heard something on TV about rules for the first to third date. That's nonsense. Both people just play it by ear, and get to know each other in one-to-one terms.

I almost forgot. Don't do the double date thing. Since he's the shy type, he might just shut down, and you won't get to know him. That's how I was.



And it isn't like I am actively seeking a boyfriend.
And you never should. The best relationship come when you are not looking.

[mrsmaalox]

I think the issue with this situation is that when he asked me out he was thinking date and when I said yes I was thinking " How nice, conversation."
And then after I said yes, I realized, " Oh gosh... he thinks date." thus my panic.

Wow that is SO cool!!! I always wished I could read what people are thinking!;)

[angel_luv]

Wow, this is a lot of angst for one meal.

Go or don't go.

Go and decide you don't ever want to go again/go and decide he's worth dating.

I doubt seriously that he is going to end up killing her/stalking her/whatever.

Put your big girl panties on and make a decision either way, then be grown-up enough to tell him the results of your decision. This, too, is part of being an adult.

Sorry to come across harshly, but seriously, it's one meal out of thousands that you are going to eat in your life. Could it really be that bad to just go and open your mind a bit?

No- you are so right.

I was thinking about that too.

That I am making way too much of this.

Whatever decision I make, so long as I don't intentionally put myself in danger ( which I have not) is not going to be the end of the world.

This is how we learn.

[whottt]

Angel...some people are just quiet, it's not always that they are shy or lack confidence, it's just that they don't talk that much. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them either really.


For instance...Elvis Presley was some guy that all his classmates thought was a weirdo...shy guiet. Didn't have any friends. Well...he didn't really lack confidence.

Some people are just introverts and others are extraverts...it's just the way they are made.

It's funny that you say that about shy guys though...because I would classify Rasho as a shy quiet type, who might lack social confidence, and you were crazy about him.

But anyway...the smooth talking confident guy can turn out to be a jerk, a real jerk in fact, and he can be insecure, he just hides it better.

Can't really judge someone's character by whether or not they are quiet or talkative.


My experience...

Well I got set up on a blind date once, with a girl I probably would have never asked out on my own, she just didn't seem like my type, I wasn't really attracted to her. And it was kind of an on the spot thing...


I wound up married to her :lmao . And she's still the only girl I have ever really been in love with. Something just happened after the second date and I wound up thinking she was the most beautiful, funny, smart and sexy woman I had ever seen and and someone I could spend the rest of my life with. It was a complete turnaround...that fast.

Conversely...I also got involved with the girl of my dreams, a girl that I had had the hots for nearly my entire life, beautful, fun...but the more I got to know her, the more I realized that she wasn't someone I could be tied too(and stay sane).


So I guess what I'm saying is, you can't really know someone, until you get to know them.


Instincts are great...just make sure it's actually instincts at work there, sometimes it isn't.



The thing is...you haven't even talked to the guy much(probably due to his own actions) but you are aready trying to make some kind of definite decision on him...it's really a mistake to do that to someone before actually getting to know them. In my experience. And you know, sometimes it's just fun to go out on a date....


But if you aren't interested, that's just the way it is...and you shouldn't feel compelled to try and change that...but sometimes, it can and does change.


All that said...honesty is always the best policy. I know you are religious so...the quote that comes to mind is....do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

That's pretty good advice when it comes to dating and relationships.

[MannyIsGod]

The best advice I can give you is to take dating far more casually - especially first dates. Go on a lot of them. Like someone said above, if nothing else its a chance to get out and get to know someone. Too many people see too many stupid movies and expect loads of sparks after a first date. Things in the real world usually don't happen that way.

A first date is simply someplace to get to know someone a bit. You won't know them after it and they shouldn't be in love with you after it either.

I say relax, go to dinner, and then if you don't have a good time don't go with him anymore. It really shouldn't be a more complex situation than that and there really aren't and shouldn't be feelings to consider when talking about a first date. You're not leading anyone on by going on a first date because a first date really means very little. I don't think I'm going to marry someone if they say "yeah I'll sit down with you for an hour to eat" and I don't think even the clingiest of guys would either so don't worry about that.

[2centsworth]

Angel,

go out with the guy and give him a chance. It could bomb and you go your seperate ways. Maybe he's nice enough to be friends, or maybe your find out more and start dating. There's no way you can decide until after a conversation with the guy.

[ShoogarBear]

Appearance is not what gets my interest. That we knew.

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/images/basketball/nba/players/3260.jpg

The fact here is that nobody knows whether this guy is shy or a creep. And the only one who will know if your buyer's remorse is because of a bad vibe about the guy or because you're just freaked out by dating is you.

Clarifying the expectations in advance is okay, if a bit awkward after you've already accepted. Having RashoFan or somebody standing by to bail you out is not a bad idea.

In the future, think about having the initial "date" be witha group of friends.

[RashoFan]

What I'm trying to say is not to judge a book by it's cover because what is inside could very well be the story of your life.
Nicely put Joe!


I would play it safe like your friend recommended. Meet him on your terms.
I agree.

[spursfan09]

speaking from experience. Don't ever go out with some guy you don't like for the sake of being nice. Just be honest, its okay to be a bitch sometimes. Well maybe I would let him down easy at first, but if he gets worse you have to be frank and basically say you have no attraction to him, you have no connection and you are not feeling anything at all. You just gave him hope.

[OldDirtMcGirt]

speaking from experience. Don't ever go out with some guy you don't like for the sake of being nice. Just be honest, its okay to be a bitch sometimes. Well maybe I would let him down easy at first, but if he gets worse you have to be frank and basically say you have no attraction to him, you have no connection and you are not feeling anything at all. You just gave him hope.

For the sake of humanity, no it's not.

[spursfan09]

For the sake of humanity, no it's not.

hey well if you are gonna be nonstop and constantly bugging after you've been turned down. something has got to get through. But I understand like you have to work with a person at a job, you have to put feelings of dislike to the side. But as for dating, well you don't have to play nice. You don't like a person... you don't like a person.

[Avitus1]

Time to ditch that zero and get with a hero.... (Jenny Jones audience goes "ohhh" inthe background.)

Seriously though if this guy rubs you the wrong way why bother? You seem like a logical person and it seems illogical to subject yourself to a situation with someone you have no interest in. So just cancel. The guy sounds like he might just be really awkward around women and if you know thats not what you want dont waste your time. Tell him you have mixed emotions about it and dont think its appropriate to date anyone you work with. Perhaps present him with the chance to be your friend so he may get to know you better but if I was you I'd cancel the date.

[PM5K]

Eh...

[katyon6th]

Go on the date. Don't go on the date. Go on as many first dates as possibe. Fuck him.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

This thread is hilarious.

Seriously. Angel, deciding if you should go on a date with this guy or not shouldn't be this difficult. And if it is, say no.

[Sapphire]

Go on the date. Don't go on the date. Go on as many first dates as possibe. Fuck him.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

This thread is hilarious.

Seriously. Angel, deciding if you should go on a date with this guy or not shouldn't be this difficult. And if it is, say no.
Wow, that's kind of what I said, only I didn't cringe when I re-read my post. Yikes. :lol

[Jekka]

Go on the date. Don't go on the date. Go on as many first dates as possibe. Fuck him.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

This thread is hilarious.

Seriously. Angel, deciding if you should go on a date with this guy or not shouldn't be this difficult. And if it is, say no.
So true. Oh, and :lol

Also, coffee was always my personal favorite for a first date, around 8 so you don't have to worry about it turning into dinner or something if you don't want it to, and also early enough so that if it's really not going well you can bail out early on and salvage the evening.

[Tree hugger]

When will you make the "should I get an abortion" topic?


Unless he is a Millionaire? go buy a Black Dildo to hold you over.

and I am serious.

[Man of Steel]

http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee140/widowmaker18/tha_51.jpg

[Hantler]

I am not sure who hacked into her account, but I like it! :toast

[marini martini]

:lmao :lmao :lmao

[Spurfect]

When I first met my boyfriend I thought immediately we would never be a couple. I told him up front that I didn't see us going any further than friends. I had a set "criteria" like you on what I looked for in a guy. But i'm so glad now that my boyfriend didn't give up trying to be with me because he has surpassed what I want in a man. So, you never know Angel. He could be your soulmate... and you won't take the chance to at least get to know him? Just my 2 cents... good luck Angel!

cute! :toast
and Angel, you are making this to be way waaay more than you should be.

[Pistons_In_7]

You never know he might have an enormous cock.

[Extra Stout]

This sounds like one of those awkward inexperienced guys who doesn't know how to communicate with women.

[AFBlue]

Go on the date. Don't go on the date. Go on as many first dates as possibe. Fuck him.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

This thread is hilarious.

Seriously. Angel, deciding if you should go on a date with this guy or not shouldn't be this difficult. And if it is, say no.

To be fair, I think she made up her mind on like Page 2 about only agreeing to see this guy as a friend if at all.

[katyon6th]

To be fair, I think she made up her mind on like Page 2 about only agreeing to see this guy as a friend if at all.

To be fair, I wasn't around most of the weekend to participate in the dating advice. So, I threw in my two cents a little late. So sorry. I hope you did the right thing Angel!

[thispego]

It's a free dinner, it doesn't obligate you to do anything in any way, I don't see the problem here. This is why some guys are terrified of asking girls out on dates. What is wrong with you bitches? This is why so many women end up alone and bitter. Angel_Luv, go out on the date that you said you'd go on and stop worrying about all the bad things that might happen. That's just childish and shows your inexperience.

[703 Spurz]

Bear with me. There are questions after all this explanation.

Okay this is the situation.

A male co-worker asked me if I would like to go out and have dinner.

This is someone whom works on the same floor with me so I see him most shifts for a few minutes but is not someone I have ever worked closely with.

The guy has always acted pretty shy around me and as a result makes me feel awkward. I always catching him watching me as I go about my work, looking as if he is going to start a conversation.
But then when I stop and say hello, answers only in monosyllables.


Needless to say, I wasn't expecting this guy to ask me out.

My first inclination was to say no to him since I am not attracted to him.
(I like guys who are outgoing and confident.)

But I said " okay" because I felt that maybe it would be unfair for me to say no.
I basically said yes because I wasn't sure it would be right to refuse to have dinner with a guy just because I am not attracted to him.
I mean, how can I say that I don't like someone I don't know and how would I know someone unless I take the time to talk to them?

That was my logic anyway.

The guy seemed genuinely shocked that I said yes, which to be honest was a slight turn off.
(I don't like arrogant guys but I like the timid, self slighting types either. )

The guy asked me for my number and I gave him my home one since that seemed safer to me.
(I didn't say it was my home number; is just the one I gave him.)

I had to ask the guy his name because I didn't know it.

So what's the issue?

My problem is that the second I gave the guy my number, I felt super sick- sick as in a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, sick with l a " what have I done?" sort of feeling.

I can't decide what caused me to feel that way. I don't know if it it were my instincts telling me not trust or associate with this guy.
Or maybe I am just nervous because 1) I haven't really gone out much and 2) I am not sure I am going to have a nice time with this guy.
(I am afraid that I am going to have to carry the conversation and that even so there is going to be all sorts of awkward silence.)

I played it cool in front of the guy but inside I was having a serious panic attack.
As soon as I could get alone, I called a gal pal for advice.


My friend heard me out and the gave me the following counsel:
1) Meet the guy; don't let him drive me.
2) Make sure to go eat somewhere that I felt comfortable
3) Pay my own way so that it would not be a date
4) Be sure to part ways right after dinner.
5) Know that if I didn't have fun, I never had to go to dinner with the again.


That made sense to me.
On my own I added to the list: 6) to make sure we eat somewhere super casual and 7) that we meet early in the evening.

Even so, I still feel uncomfortable about the dinner and that is why I am confused about how to proceed.

I do believe in following my instincts but am not positive that an un quantifiable gut feeling is a valid reason to cancel on the guy.

It seems like should be safe if I stick to my friend's advice, so I am not sure what I am worried about.

I talked about this with my land lady ( she is older; in her 70's and is my guardian of sorts) and also with my roommate, whom is my age.
They basically echoed my first friend's advice.

So far, the only person to feel strongly otherwise is my mom.
Mom thinks that the nervous feeling I have could very well mean that the guy is not safe- that I should not ignore my instincts.
Also, mom feels that by agreeing to go to dinner with a guy I am not attracted to is not giving him a chance, but leading him on.
Mom said it would be the kinder thing to just cancel the dinner.

I have three primary concerns in this:

1) My safety and well being
2) Preserving the guy's feelings as best I can
and 3) Not causing an awkward/ ugly situation for myself since I do
have to work on the same floor as this person.

So, I would like to know (from the guys especially) what you think about the situation.
Am I leading the guy on?

And some general questions to everyone:

In your experience, how important are instincts when it comes to socializing alone with someone of the opposite sex?

Do any of you remember having a similar experience to this one?
If so, how did you handle it? And, how did it turn out?


Thanks!

Sounds to be like you're too picky, especially if you haven't dated much to this point. It isn't fair to this or any other guy for you to judge him right out of the gate. Give him a chance just to show you what type of guy he is. If he's a pansy or an all-around douchebag then let him go.

But for you to already judge him is ridiculous. I wouldn't go around looking for the 'ideal' guy. I mean you're already setting yourself up for failure by liking only certain types of guys.

So he's shy. You'd rather him walk up to you holding his dick in his hand and asking you if you wanna party?

So he doesn't seem confident. You'd rather him send you naked pics of him to your office email and tell you rather then ask that he looks hot naked?

Go get some coffee and just talk. You live once, why waste it assuming and guessing how situations will be played out?

[angel_luv]

Angel_Luv, go out on the date that you said you'd go on and stop worrying about all the bad things that might happen. That's just childish and shows your inexperience.



I will give you that I am in experienced.


I am worried about hurting his feelings by giving him the impression I am looking for more with him than just dinner and a conversation.

I don't see how that is childish but rather is a mature regard and concern for other people.

I want to make the best choice; my issue is, like you said, inexperience and not knowing how.

And it would not be a free dinner since I am set on paying my own way.

[thispego]

I will give you that I am in experienced.


I am worried about hurting his feelings by giving him the impression I am looking for more with him than just dinner and a conversation.

I don't see how that is childish but rather is a mature regard and concern for other people.

I want to make the best choice; my issue is, like you said, inexperience and not knowing how.
You dont have to worry about him. that's the beauty of it. His feelings are not your responsilbity.

[word]

You should throw some off on him and then tell us all how it went.

[angel_luv]

You dont have to worry about him. that's the beauty of it. His feelings are not your responsilbity.

I concede that point to an extent.

Everyone has free choice and therefore has to power to choose how they feel and respond to whatever circumstance they are in.

But I do feel I have a responsibility, so far as I am able, to not confuse people by how I behave towards them and to preserve peoples' feeling by what I say to them.

[mrsmaalox]

I am worried about hurting his feelings by giving him the impression I am looking for more with him than just dinner and a conversation.


Well then just TELL him! It's like you think he's already planning a wedding! If you are nice and honest about it, it won't hurt him. Chances are he feels the same way. It just seems to me that in the worst case scenario, this will at least be a learning experience! How else are you going to get dating experience?

[ATRAIN]

I say if you just want to be friends, then be honest with him. If you don't want to hurt his feelings invite a friend to dinner with you. Nothing says I just want to be friends more than that. If he trys to ask you out again, then you can say yes but make sure he knows its only as friends.

[angel_luv]

Well then just TELL him! It's like you think he's already planning a wedding! If you are nice and honest about it, it won't hurt him. Chances are he feels the same way. It just seems to me that in the worst case scenario, this will at least be a learning experience! How else are you going to get dating experience?


I think the real panic set in when my mom told me she thought I was leading the guy on.
It kicked my conscience into super high gear.

Before then I had made peace with just going to go with my friend's advice to go and pay for myself.

[thispego]

I concede that point to an extent.

Everyone has free choice and therefore has to power to choose how they feel and respond to whatever circumstance they are in.

But I do feel I have a responsibility, so far as I am able, to not confuse people by how I behave towards them and to preserve peoples' feeling by what I say to them.
If nothing else you'll be helping him, giving him a little more confidence for the next young lady he wants to ask out. You are not leading him on by going on a date with him, you're both just learning the game. It would be beneficial to both of you actually, Give you both a chance to see what can go right and wrong on a date.

[thispego]

dont pay for yourself, thats bullshit.

you're not leading him on by letting him pay for you.

He asked you on the date, if you go, he should pay no matter what.

[angel_luv]

And the truth is, I don't really know how he will feel after having dinner with me.

He could think I am boring or too chatty or whatever.

So I plan to just go, pay for myself, and handle the rest when it becomes clear what the rest is.

[angel_luv]

dont pay for yourself, thats bullshit.

you're not leading him on by letting him pay for you.

He asked you on the date, if you go, he should pay no matter what.


No, paying for myself is the one thing I am sure about.

Since I am not viewing this as a date there is no reason why he should pay for me.

And by my paying for myself, he can have nothing to begrudge me for later.

I took the time out of my schedule to get to know him at my own expense.
And if I say no to going out with him again, that would be within my rights to do so.

[angel_luv]

This thread is very helpful.

I've had the benefit of so many points of view, all of which have helped me work through a ton of jitters and decide how I want to proceed.

Thanks guys! Really, thanks!

[mrsmaalox]

And the truth is, I don't really know how he will feel after having dinner with me.

He could think I am boring or too chatty or whatever.

So I plan to just go, pay for myself, and handle the rest when it becomes clear what the rest is.

Well sounds like we have a plan! :lol
(And maybe stop reading this thread; I can't see how so many different opinions, serious and non-serious, can possibly be comforting! :))

[ATRAIN]

No, paying for myself is the one thing I am sure about.

Since I am not viewing this as a date there is no reason why he should pay for me.

And by my paying for myself, he can have nothing to begrudge me for later.

I took the time out of my schedule to get to know him at my own expense.
And if I say no to going out with him again, that would be within my rights to do so.


How about you and I go out on a dinner date and you pay :). Don't worry im cool about the whole just friends thing hahahaha. If I think your too chatty ill just tell myself, "Just be nice and listen she is paying :)"

[angel_luv]

Thanks Mrs. Maalox! :)

[angel_luv]

How about you and I go out on a dinner date and you pay :). Don't worry im cool about the whole just friends thing hahahaha.

How about no.

Look guys, I didn't want to go out with him and I said no!


Sorry Atrain. Could not resist. :)

[ATRAIN]

How about no.

Look guys, I didn't want to go out with him and I said no!


Sorry Atrain. Could not resist. :)


You see all the helpful advice DID work. Your well on your way.

[angel_luv]

:)

[thispego]

No, paying for myself is the one thing I am sure about.

Since I am not viewing this as a date there is no reason why he should pay for me.

And by my paying for myself, he can have nothing to begrudge me for later.

I took the time out of my schedule to get to know him at my own expense.
And if I say no to going out with him again, that would be within my rights to do so.
And you would not be within your right to say no to a second date if he paid for the first one?

He could begrudge you for not letting him pay. Anyways, you paying for yourself could create an akward moment, luckily that will be at the end of the date so you won't really have to deal with it... As long as you follow through with your commitment I don't think there is a lot he could be upset about. And you can walk away from it knowing that just maybe you helped boost his confidence a little bit. :tu

[angel_luv]

I was actually going to clarify when he calls that I want to go dutch.
If he seriously objects to that, then he can cancel on me.

[MannyIsGod]

I was really tempted to break my troll cherry on "Angel Luv's Date" but I decided not to enter the Dark Side.

Someone make me proud.

[Dark Gable]

I was really tempted to break my troll cherry on "Angel Luv's Date" but I decided not to enter the Dark Side.

Someone make me proud.

What is wrong with the Dark Side?

[angel_luv]

I was really tempted to break my troll cherry on "Angel Luv's Date" but I decided not to enter the Dark Side.

Someone make me proud.


:lol

Good job, although you would be a great troll since you have an intelligent sense of humor.

[Man of Steel]

The guy is not bad looking- has some nice features and is certainly not ugly.

Appearance is not what gets my interest. I am attracted to charisma and humor, strength and confidence. If a guy is those things, there is an excellent chance I will think he is cute.

On the other hand, you can be a Brad Pitt look alike but if I think you are either arrogant or timid, I'm not going to dig you.

I think the issue with this situation is that when he asked me out he was thinking date and when I said yes I was thinking " How nice, conversation."
And then after I said yes, I realized, " Oh gosh... he thinks date." thus my panic.

It was a misunderstanding which I need to clear up.




Damn Angel--I am a little timid and was thinking of asking you out, too.

Oh well--guess I'll have to the Palace again tonight.

--Love,

Brad

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff83/maryss_lane/Brad-Pitt.jpg

[MannyIsGod]

:lol

Good job, although you would be a great troll since you have an intelligent sense of humor.Well thank you!

[Southwest Texas Fan]

I don't know if it has been suggested but go out to lunch and not dinner. Lunch usually means friendship whereas the latter would suggest a romantic interest. But if you have a gut feeling about his guy maybe you should cancel. Regardless of the reasons sometimes it's better to be safe than sorry.

[George Gervin's Afro]

Tell him the reason why you broke up with your last boyfriend is because he had big dik and he didn't know how to use it.. then ask him what he wants to do.. he will NEVER call again... or look at you for that matter...

[CuckingFunt]

Wow, that's kind of what I said, only I didn't cringe when I re-read my post. Yikes. :lolI've read this twice, and I still don't get why Katy's post would make anyone cringe.

[CuckingFunt]

I don't see how that is childish but rather is a mature regard and concern for other people.

Mature is being honest with him from the start.

Just sayin'.

[spursfan09]

You dont have to worry about him. that's the beauty of it. His feelings are not your responsilbity.

Exactly!

[Duff McCartney]

You think too much. If the guy knew you had so much confusion about just dinner, he'd probably tell you no. I know I would.

It's just dinner..it's not a freaking marriage proposal.

[mouse]

Angel_luv what ever you do please keep the updates coming and feel free to not leave out any of the juicy details.

I enjoy waxing my carrot to your gtg photos and a storyline will enhance the pleasure.

[whottt]

Is the guy a Spur fan?

And if so...does he read the forum?

[BacktoBasics]

I'm not reading all 6 pages but its just a date for fucks sake not an arranged marriage. Go have fun no matter if you're attacted or not. If it doesn't work just ask god nicely to add 4 hours on the back end of you life to make up for lost time.

[katyon6th]

Finally, people are getting it.

Geezus.

[mouse]

Bi-Polar love affairs never turn out that great anyway.

[Troll]

:lol

Good job, although you would be a great troll since you have an intelligent sense of humor.

:lmao :lmao :lmao

[Tree hugger]

It's times like these that Angel_luv needs our support not our criticisms.

[Findog]

You made a commitment to spend time with this guy, but take your own car and pay your own way, or bring a friend along if you feel uncomfortable for safety reasons. Who knows, you might hit it off. But don't do anything more to lead the guy on if you aren't interested in him, and don't say anything that would hurt his feelings.

[CuckingFunt]

has anyone posted that angel sounds like she's being a bitch yet?Yes.

Probably not those exact words, but the point has been made.

[jman3000]

what atrain said. im hungry and could go for a free meal :angel:

[jman3000]

im closer too.

[whottt]

has anyone posted that angel sounds like she's being a bitch yet?


She sounds sheltered to me...life'll change that.





Did you know that thispego is born on the same day as W?

[jman3000]

She sounds sheltered to me...life'll change that.

but hasn't "life" already happened for her?

[ploto]

She sounds sheltered to me...

Angel even said that it was her mother's comment that she was leading this guy on that made her the most upset.

[CuckingFunt]

but hasn't "life" already happened for her?If an innocent dinner invite causes this much stress... I'm guessing no.

[King]

You're not leading the guy on by accepting. He may have just wanted to get to know you. Just go, have a meal and a conversation, and see what happens. You may get there, realize that you're not interested and go your separate ways.

You may get there, and realize you ARE somewhat interested in him.

Whatever happens, happens. The feelings are nerves. You're going to have them on your first date, no matter when it is, or with whoever it is. Might as well get them out of the way now.

Get through dinner, first, before you start planning marriage and kids. You're overthinking it way too much.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

These things are tough, Angel, and don't worry about those morons who decided to let their bitterness out of the bottle by poking fun at your expense. And the last thing you are or could ever be is "a bitch".

I will not add anything to the advice in this thread because I think it's all been said, except that in future don't make dinner plans with someone you don't know. Coffee or lunch is fine - that gives you an hour to learn something about the person, and then it's easy to escape if you want to. If you don't want to, then you can make dinner plans.

Oh, and your easy out here is the "I don't date co-workers" move. That's an entirely reasonable position to take.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

I am worried about hurting his feelings by giving him the impression I am looking for more with him than just dinner and a conversation.

I don't see how that is childish but rather is a mature regard and concern for other people.

I want to make the best choice; my issue is, like you said, inexperience and not knowing how.





You're worried about this guy's feelings when you didn't even know his name a week ago? I don't buy that at all. IMO, you're just trying to avoid confrontation at this point. Ultimately, even after all of these posts and all the advice given, you're still leaving the decision up to him. Why? I'd guess it's because you don't want to look like the bad guy and you're trying to save face.

You want to know how people make good choices? Usually, it involves one person making a choice, picking up the pieces afterwards if things go bad and learning from their mistakes.

Anything short of that is just random luck, IMO.

[J.T.]

This guy sounds like he's hopeless trapped in the Friend Zone. Just from what I read in the first post, this is probably the type of guy who has crush on you. I wouldn't go so far as to say infatuated but if he always looking your way and such, then it's probably just a crush. In my experiences with dating people I work with, it has never been successful. It might be different since I'm a guy, but when I dated girls from work, they were usually friends with the other girls that worked there and let's face it... some job atmospheres can be a lot like high-school... rumors and gossip spread fast. For instance, when I was in high school I took someone I worked with to prom. We liked each other and got along well, but it was kind of weird. She ended up hooking up with another dude that worked with us about three days after prom so I'm not a big fan of dating in the workplace.

So I'm not sure how it would work out from your perspective. Might be different, might not be. For instance right now, I'd like to go out with most of the women I work with, but I've learned my lesson and won't make that mistake again.

The safe thing to do would be to have a day date or something. Go have lunch, nothing fancy. It's just a meal. Going somewhere fancier or to a movie or something will just create a date atmosphere and might be awkward.

[CuckingFunt]

These things are tough, Angel, and don't worry about those morons who decided to let their bitterness out of the bottle by poking fun at your expense. And the last thing you are or could ever be is "a bitch".
I've actually been shocked by the incredible lack of bitterness in this thread, considering the insults that get thrown around here a lot -- very little name calling, and seven pages without a threadjack? That's pretty fucking admirable.

There is, somewhat surprisingly, a lot of really good advice being given here that I hope isn't being ignored just because it comes across as harsh.

Ultimately, advice isn't always nice and cheery, nor does it always support the idea you were already leaning towards when you asked. Anyone who seeks advice in this type of forum should know that, and be prepared for the potential responses, right from the start.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

You want to know how people make good choices? Usually, it involves one person making a choice, picking up the pieces afterwards if things go bad and learning from their mistakes.

Anything short of that is just random luck, IMO.

That's a very good point.

Change the date to coffee or lunch, meet him and get it over with. Worst case you don't like him but have to eat a meal with him, best case you like him and go from there.

Oh, and most importantly, if you aren't interested in him and he asks you out again, be clear in saying "no". If he asks why, "no chemistry" is an answer that no-one can really argue with - let's face it, if there is no chemistry is no point.

[whottt]

but hasn't "life" already happened for her?


Not love life...at least that's the impression I get. That's why she's so nervous about going on a date.

I could be wrong though...

[katyon6th]

Hey guys, she's going out with the dude. That was clarified on like page 2. Damn, get with it.

Oh and I can't wait to hear the juicy details after their date (because I know a thread will be started) and then we can all discuss some more. Yes!

[CuckingFunt]

Oh and I can't wait to hear the juicy details after their date (because I know a thread will be started) and then we can all discuss some more. Yes!Awesomeness!

[katyon6th]

Awesomeness!

Totally not any more awesome than you using the word awesomeness in association with something I said.

This thread gets better.

[jman3000]

katy is gay.

[Kori Ellis]

Hey guys, she's going out with the dude. That was clarified on like page 2. Damn, get with it.

No it wasn't. She was still considering canceling way after that. :lol

[jman3000]

hey katy... i hit a deer last night on that fucking road.

look for my head lights strewn about the road.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

I've actually been shocked by the incredible lack of bitterness in this thread, considering the insults that get thrown around here a lot -- very little name calling, and seven pages without a threadjack? That's pretty fucking admirable.

There is, somewhat surprisingly, a lot of really good advice being given here that I hope isn't being ignored just because it comes across as harsh.

Ultimately, advice isn't always nice and cheery, nor does it always support the idea you were already leaning towards when you asked. Anyone who seeks advice in this type of forum should know that, and be prepared for the potential responses, right from the start.

Yeah, fair enough. I wasn't saying the thread was filled with bitterness, just to ignore any that is there. And yes, I agree, there is lot of really good advice, and often the best advice you get doesn't support what you thought when you asked the question.

[katyon6th]

No it wasn't. She was still considering canceling way after that. :lol

Seriously. Just go with it, Kori.

[Kori Ellis]

Seriously. Just go with it, Kori.

You are giving advice like Angel is a regular girl dating. (No offense, Angel)

She's 25 (?) and she hasn't dated. You need to consider that factor. :smokin

[katyon6th]

hey katy... i hit a deer last night on that fucking road.

look for my head lights strewn about the road.

Ouch. I hit a deer on that road once. I didn't have my license then. That was such a long time ago. :spin

And you know what? You're gay asshole. You wanna know why? Because you're a liar. And you were an ugly baby.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

And you know what? You're gay asshole. You wanna know why? Because you're a liar. And you were an ugly baby.

Boy, I'm glad I didn't mistake you for a Good Samaritan.

[jman3000]

Ouch. I hit a deer on that road once. I didn't have my license then. That was such a long time ago. :spin

And you know what? You're gay asshole. You wanna know why? Because you're a liar. And you were an ugly baby.

sorry.

i'll buy you some drinks if you meet me at the bww at brooks city base. im heading over there in a bit to leech off the wifi.

[katyon6th]

You are giving advice like Angel is a regular girl dating. (No offense, Angel)

She's 25 (?) and she hasn't dated. You need to consider that factor. :smokin

I understand she's inexperienced but even the inexperienced can make decisions for themselves.

You live and you learn.

Hilary Duff says it best, "take a chance, do a crazy dance".

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

I understand she's inexperienced but even the inexperienced can make decisions for themselves.

You live and you learn.

Hilary Duff says it best, "take a chance, do a crazy dance".

I was taking you seriously until that last line.

[CuckingFunt]

Hilary Duff says it best

Oh, Katy... this is not awesomeness.

:depressed

[katyon6th]

sorry.

i'll buy you some drinks if you meet me at the bww at brooks city base. im heading over there in a bit to leech off the wifi.


Can we call it a date????

I can meet you there on Thursday.

[jman3000]

:lmao @ street cred going to shit in the span of a few minutes.

[jman3000]

Can we call it a date????

I can meet you there on Thursday.

:lol maybe i should read some of the advice given in this thread.

tonight would be perfect... but thursday is cool too.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Is it a date if Katy asked me to go with her to a lesbian bar?

[katyon6th]

I was taking you seriously until that last line.

I was pretty much serious.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

I Are Serious Katy.
This Iz Serious Thread.

[katyon6th]

Is it a date if Katy asked me to go with her to a lesbian bar?

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

If so, it'd be the first time a guy bailed so damn early on me. You still suck.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

I Are Serious Katy.
This Iz Serious Thread.


This makes me laugh.

[katyon6th]

And you really missed all the action, Joe. We were just getting started. The lesbians in that hizza got crazy.

[CuckingFunt]

Is it a date if Katy asked me to go with her to a lesbian bar?Lesbian bars are super fun.

[katyon6th]

This makes me laugh.

I didn't think it was very funny.

[CuckingFunt]

I'm easily amused by lolcats.

And, apparently, even by vague references to lolcats.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/270911970_db35fdd4ca.jpg (http://www.roflcat.com)

[katyon6th]

I'm missing something here. What the hell is lolcats?

[katyon6th]

Nevermind.

You got me.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

You just killed it, JB.

<sigh>

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Nevermind.

You got me.

Gotdamn right, I did.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

You just killed it, JB.

<sigh>

If I were actually sitting at my home computer instead of remotely logged in, I would photoshop a LOLKaty.

[katyon6th]

BWW Thursday? I'll buy you a Dr. Pepper, you buy me a mai tai.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

BWW Thursday? I'll buy you a Dr. Pepper, you buy me a mai tai.

Me or JSlut?

[katyon6th]

Dr Pepper????

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Dr Pepper????

Just making sure... If I can meet you after 11, sure. If not, it'll have to be on a weekend.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

http://img295.imageshack.us/img295/3255/seriouskatykh7.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[katyon6th]

What the fuuuuuuuuuuuck!

[katyon6th]

Where'd you get that??

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

I found it on LOLCats one day and saved it for a special occasion.






































http://spurstalk.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2203070&postcount=208

[jman3000]

:lol

did i just get dumped?

badass.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

:lol

did i just get dumped?

badass.

Look on the bright side, you'll have more time to try and get on Craiglist's "Missed Connection."

[jman3000]

that would be so great. i check about once a week.

[Sapphire]

I've read this twice, and I still don't get why Katy's post would make anyone cringe.

It seemed like she was trying to be a little harsh, if I really have to explain my shit to you. :rolleyes

[katyon6th]

http://img238.imageshack.us/img238/1749/l4f9cb90f0dfe961cd5f6fchd3.jpg


I'm so damn clever.

[CuckingFunt]

It seemed like she was trying to be a little harsh, if I really have to explain my shit to you. :rolleyesYou don't.

But, I must say, her post wasn't anywhere near as harsh as this response.

[katyon6th]

You don't.

But, I must say, her post wasn't anywhere near as harsh as this response.

Really, that's what I thought!

[Shelly]

Look on the bright side, you'll have more time to try and get on Craiglist's "Missed Connection."

Missed Connections are HIGHlarious!

"I saw you and your 10 kids in the beer section at HEB. You glared at me and I felt a connection. Call me!"

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Missed Connections are HIGHlarious!

"I saw you and your 10 kids in the beer section at HEB. You glared at me and I felt a connection. Call me!"

You should post that ad see if you get a response.

[jman3000]

Missed Connections are HIGHlarious!

"I saw you and your 10 kids in the beer section at HEB. You glared at me and I felt a connection. Call me!"
THAT'S WHAT I FUCKING WANT.

i may inadvertantly make eye contact with lots of people every day... i want one of them to think my inadvertant eye contact means i want to start a family with them.

[angel_luv]

http://img238.imageshack.us/img238/1749/l4f9cb90f0dfe961cd5f6fchd3.jpg



:lol That's funny

And not that it matters much since the thread is completely hijacked but...


You are giving advice like Angel is a regular girl dating. (No offense, Angel)


None taken.

For the record, I wasn't bothered by anything any of you said. I appreciate you taking the time and giving me diverse ideas to consider.

[CuckingFunt]

THAT'S WHAT I FUCKING WANT.

i may inadvertantly make eye contact with lots of people every day... i want one of them to think my inadvertant eye contact means i want to start a family with them.You don't want that. It's not fun.

At all.

[jman3000]

hush. i know what i want cabrona.

[Shelly]

THAT'S WHAT I FUCKING WANT.

i may inadvertantly make eye contact with lots of people every day... i want one of them to think my inadvertant eye contact means i want to start a family with them.

Will you pay for the beer?

[jman3000]

of course.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Hopefully, Angel's date doesn't end like tonight's top story on KSAT.

[MannyIsGod]

Anyone else think peewee has fat hands?

[Sapphire]

You don't.

But, I must say, her post wasn't anywhere near as harsh as this response.

Really? How many times did you have to read it?

:lol

And yeah, I thought she was intentionally being harsh. At least that's the way I read it. Sorry that you don't agree. You have your opinion, I have mine.

[katyon6th]

How about I just clarify and you ladies kiss and make up?

I wasn't being intentionally harsh. I don't do harsh.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

The truth is usually harsh.

[Sapphire]

How about I just clarify and you ladies kiss and make up?

I wasn't being intentionally harsh. I don't do harsh.

We can make up, but no kisses, thanks! I'm trying to quit...

Thanks for the clarification, anyway. Angel is just so sweet and I get accused of being the one in real life that pulls out my broadsword to defend the underdog. I know she asked for advice, but still......

[angel_luv]

Hopefully, Angel's date doesn't end like tonight's top story on KSAT.


which was???

[CuckingFunt]

Really? How many times did you have to read it?

:lol

And yeah, I thought she was intentionally being harsh. At least that's the way I read it. Sorry that you don't agree. You have your opinion, I have mine.I read katy's post once, then read your response, and took a look at katy's post again to try and find the cringe-worthy moment.

However, regardless the initial difference in opinion, I find it quite amusing that katy's post would have so offended your sensibilities. Your response to my comment was just flat out bitchy.

[jman3000]

meow...

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

:bike:

Just passing by.

[marini martini]

Anyone else think peewee has fat hands?


I do :toast

Plus every one else here fuckin' sux :lol

[Sapphire]

I read katy's post once, then read your response, and took a look at katy's post again to try and find the cringe-worthy moment.

However, regardless the initial difference in opinion, I find it quite amusing that katy's post would have so offended your sensibilities. Your response to my comment was just flat out bitchy.
Wait, my post made you comment, so is that amusing, too? Get over yourself. :rolleyes

[CuckingFunt]

Wait, my post made you comment, so is that amusing, too? Get over yourself. :rolleyesIt's only amusing if you continue to throw out catty comments instead of acknowledging the actual point of my posts.

The bitchy, passive aggressive tone of your responses to my posts makes your outrage at katy's alleged harshness seem false and hypocritical. If frankly stated advice is harsh, then your suggestion that I get over myself, and your several other attempted insults, is... what, exactly?

[atxrocker]

:corn:

[jman3000]

in all honesty i think angel just need to go and live. i dont think she has yet. she's been homeschooled for her entire childhood and early adulthood and didnt have the integration that a normal child would have. seeing it from that point of view, one could conclude that she's about 10 years behind the curve as far as socializing is concerned. i think once she tears down a few of the barriers that he has self imposed, then she'll see that life can be so much more beautiful.

[jman3000]

ive been drinking.

[CuckingFunt]

ive been drinking.What else is new?

[marini martini]

It's only amusing if you continue to throw out catty comments instead of acknowledging the actual point of my posts.

The bitchy, passive aggressive tone of your responses to my posts makes your outrage at katy's alleged harshness seem false and hypocritical. If frankly stated advice is harsh, then your suggestion that I get over myself, and your several other attempted insults, is... what, exactly?
:fishing :fishing :fishing

[atxrocker]

my drunk posts tend to make less sense and begin after 2 am

[Sapphire]

It's only amusing if you continue to throw out catty comments instead of acknowledging the actual point of my posts.

The bitchy, passive aggressive tone of your responses to my posts makes your outrage at katy's alleged harshness seem false and hypocritical. If frankly stated advice is harsh, then your suggestion that I get over myself, and your several other attempted insults, is... what, exactly?
That's just it. What is the point of your posts? What are you, my personal post police? You bother me none.

I don't believe I was outraged at katy's post. I said it made me cringe, as in, Oh shit, that was a little rough. Again, my perception.

Have your fun with someone else. I'm out.

[CuckingFunt]

You bother me none.

Obviously.

[Sapphire]

Obviously.
Finally, he gets it. :lol

Seriously, I gotta get to bed, but we can continue tomorrow, if you wish.