Jimcs50
03-20-2008, 08:18 AM
Playing through the pain
Losing a loved one is never easy. But burying one's mother on the eve of the NCAA Tournament is a special breed of sorrow experienced by Texas A&M's Donald Sloan
By TERRANCE HARRIS
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Texas A&M sophomore Donald Sloan had seen this very moment play out before. Just not in his own life.
It was someone else losing a parent and then having to bury her on the eve of a big game.
But such is Sloan's reality now after he buried his mother, Sandra, on Tuesday in Dallas, two days before the Aggies were to meet Brigham Young in today's opening round of the NCAA Tournament.
His mom died unexpectedly last Thursday after an undisclosed illness.
''It's unimaginable for me,'' Sloan, 20, said Wednesday, hours after arriving in Anaheim to join his teammates. ''I've always seen movies where something like this happens to other people, but I never thought it would happen to me. Yet it did.''
Amazingly, Sloan is here, trying to lead his team while dealing with his pain. Sloan says he has grieved enough and moved forward enough to lead the Aggies through tonight's matchup against BYU at the Honda Center and hopefully beyond.
''Sometimes you've just got to cry and get it all out,'' Sloan said. ''I did that, and I'm ready to play.''
He gets no argument from first-year A&M coach Mark Turgeon, who has allowed Sloan to dictate his own pace during this time. Sloan visited with his mom on March 12, the day before she died. He joined his teammates in Kansas City for their opening-round Big 12 tournament game against Iowa State the same day.
Sloan, who helped turn back the Cyclones with a 12-point, nine-assist, nine-rebound performance, remained with his teammates for the remainder of the tournament.
In return, they stuck by him, traveling to Dallas for Tuesday's funeral before boarding a charter to Anaheim early Wednesday morning.
Sloan arrived by himself, but in surprisingly better spirits.
''Today, he's been great,'' said Turgeon. ''I haven't seen him smile like this in a long time.
''He was dialed in our first practice and seems like a whole different kid. (Tuesday) I wasn't sure. Obviously, it was a hard day.''
Sloan admits he considered leaving the team right after his mother's death but then decided against it.
''It actually went through my mind after the Iowa State game,'' he said. ''I felt like the team was pretty well off. I didn't think I needed to be here, because I knew they could do it without me.
''I kind of felt like I should have left. But at the same time, if I had went back home there was nothing I could do besides sit around and wait. I just felt like being around the guys was probably best.''
At the same time, Sloan seemed surprised at the amount of support he received from teammates and coaches, especially during Tuesday's funeral service.
''It tells you who is there with you and who's not,'' Sloan said. ''I feel like the coaches could have easily been, like, 'OK, go home and do what you've got to do, and we're going to do what we have to do.' It was never like that. They always called; they came down to the funeral.
''I wouldn't have thought they would have done that. I would have thought they would have been more focused on the Tournament rather than (on) me — just one person. To see that, you realize people do care.''
Sloan's backcourt mate, senior Dominique Kirk, says it was important for the team to be there with Sloan and for him to know they have his back.
''We just have to be strong for him,'' Kirk said. ''I know he's going out there to play his best.''
Sloan, who is averaging 9.4 points, 4.0 rebounds and 3.4 assists per game, admits the recent events have been something of a roller-coaster ride for him. While his teammates are arguably playing their best basketball of this season going into the Tournament, he's hurting from his unexpected loss.
It's been a balancing act he never expected.
''I'm just trying to stay put-together around them, around the coaches, because you are here for a game,'' said Sloan, who missed much of Saturday's Big 12 semifinal with an ankle injury but is healed enough to play today.
''But you still have stuff on your mind, seeing your mother for the last time ever. Dealing with yourself, dealing with your relatives and other family and getting calls and text messages all through the night you still have to deal with it, so it's not over.''
[email protected]
I do not know how Donald was able to play so well last week, but I have the greatest respect for his courage. Good to see the support that he gets from his team.
Losing a loved one is never easy. But burying one's mother on the eve of the NCAA Tournament is a special breed of sorrow experienced by Texas A&M's Donald Sloan
By TERRANCE HARRIS
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Texas A&M sophomore Donald Sloan had seen this very moment play out before. Just not in his own life.
It was someone else losing a parent and then having to bury her on the eve of a big game.
But such is Sloan's reality now after he buried his mother, Sandra, on Tuesday in Dallas, two days before the Aggies were to meet Brigham Young in today's opening round of the NCAA Tournament.
His mom died unexpectedly last Thursday after an undisclosed illness.
''It's unimaginable for me,'' Sloan, 20, said Wednesday, hours after arriving in Anaheim to join his teammates. ''I've always seen movies where something like this happens to other people, but I never thought it would happen to me. Yet it did.''
Amazingly, Sloan is here, trying to lead his team while dealing with his pain. Sloan says he has grieved enough and moved forward enough to lead the Aggies through tonight's matchup against BYU at the Honda Center and hopefully beyond.
''Sometimes you've just got to cry and get it all out,'' Sloan said. ''I did that, and I'm ready to play.''
He gets no argument from first-year A&M coach Mark Turgeon, who has allowed Sloan to dictate his own pace during this time. Sloan visited with his mom on March 12, the day before she died. He joined his teammates in Kansas City for their opening-round Big 12 tournament game against Iowa State the same day.
Sloan, who helped turn back the Cyclones with a 12-point, nine-assist, nine-rebound performance, remained with his teammates for the remainder of the tournament.
In return, they stuck by him, traveling to Dallas for Tuesday's funeral before boarding a charter to Anaheim early Wednesday morning.
Sloan arrived by himself, but in surprisingly better spirits.
''Today, he's been great,'' said Turgeon. ''I haven't seen him smile like this in a long time.
''He was dialed in our first practice and seems like a whole different kid. (Tuesday) I wasn't sure. Obviously, it was a hard day.''
Sloan admits he considered leaving the team right after his mother's death but then decided against it.
''It actually went through my mind after the Iowa State game,'' he said. ''I felt like the team was pretty well off. I didn't think I needed to be here, because I knew they could do it without me.
''I kind of felt like I should have left. But at the same time, if I had went back home there was nothing I could do besides sit around and wait. I just felt like being around the guys was probably best.''
At the same time, Sloan seemed surprised at the amount of support he received from teammates and coaches, especially during Tuesday's funeral service.
''It tells you who is there with you and who's not,'' Sloan said. ''I feel like the coaches could have easily been, like, 'OK, go home and do what you've got to do, and we're going to do what we have to do.' It was never like that. They always called; they came down to the funeral.
''I wouldn't have thought they would have done that. I would have thought they would have been more focused on the Tournament rather than (on) me — just one person. To see that, you realize people do care.''
Sloan's backcourt mate, senior Dominique Kirk, says it was important for the team to be there with Sloan and for him to know they have his back.
''We just have to be strong for him,'' Kirk said. ''I know he's going out there to play his best.''
Sloan, who is averaging 9.4 points, 4.0 rebounds and 3.4 assists per game, admits the recent events have been something of a roller-coaster ride for him. While his teammates are arguably playing their best basketball of this season going into the Tournament, he's hurting from his unexpected loss.
It's been a balancing act he never expected.
''I'm just trying to stay put-together around them, around the coaches, because you are here for a game,'' said Sloan, who missed much of Saturday's Big 12 semifinal with an ankle injury but is healed enough to play today.
''But you still have stuff on your mind, seeing your mother for the last time ever. Dealing with yourself, dealing with your relatives and other family and getting calls and text messages all through the night you still have to deal with it, so it's not over.''
[email protected]
I do not know how Donald was able to play so well last week, but I have the greatest respect for his courage. Good to see the support that he gets from his team.