Picnic tables are S.E.X.Y.

[Shelly]

http://www.kalb.com/index.php/news/article/picnic-sex-man/5324/

By Chris Blalock -
NBC
March 28 2008 | text size: small medium large


An Ohio man is charged with four counts of public indecency after he admitted to having sex with his patio picnic table. Authorities in Huron County, Ohio say 40-year-old Art Price Junior confessed to repeatedly having sex with the table between January and March of this year.

Police in Bellevue, Ohio were tipped off, after someone anonymously taped one of the incidents then gave the recording to police. According to police, Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table both inside and outside his home.

He is free on a $20,000 bond.

http://www.kalb.com/img-full/images/news/28mar08_picnicman.jpg

[Shelly]

I guess his blow up doll left him?

[Spurfect]

i guess the wood gave him a woody?

[dimsah]

January through March? You'd think he would have waited for the summer months.

[Shelly]

I wonder if he would dress up the table by using fancy tablecloths.

[Spurfect]

I wonder if he would dress up the table by using fancy tablecloths.


a lacey doily? :oops

[Shelly]

:lol

If he screwed a Little Tykes picnic table, would that make him a pedophile?

[Spurfect]

:lol

If he screwed a Little Tykes picnic table, would that make him a pedophile?

:lol

as disturbing and digusting as it is.. i don't see why this man is arrested and/o going to jail for it. unless he really did do it out in the open for anyone to see. I mean it's just a table, unless the table didn't give its consent (knock on wood)

[Spurfect]

and also i thought it was hilarious that he has had sex with the table "outside and inside" the home. so he actually takes the table inside to have sex with it? LOL...
well i guess maybe it was those times he was feeling romantic or something

[marini martini]

Wasn't he in the privacy of his own home? :oops

[Shelly]

:lol

as disturbing and digusting as it is.. i don't see why this man is arrested and/o going to jail for it. unless he really did do it out in the open for anyone to see. I mean it's just a table, unless the table didn't give its consent (knock on wood)

:lol

True--Maybe there's still some archaic law about "Thou Shall Not Fornicate A Picnic Table" on the books!

[Shelly]

and also i thought it was hilarious that he has had sex with the table "outside and inside" the home. so he actually takes the table inside to have sex with it? LOL...
well i guess maybe it was those times he was feeling romantic or something

:rollin I wonder if he set the table first?

[Shelly]

Somehow, I think PeeWee would approve...

[dallaskd]

:lol poor bastard. why not just jack off?

[dimsah]

When he's getting romantic with the table indoors, does he set the mood with candles or is he worried about the fire hazard?

[Spurfect]

When he's getting romantic with the table indoors, does he set the mood with candles or is he worried about the fire hazard?

maybe the table just wasn't into the whole hot wax thing

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Forget all you mofos!!


I'm beating this rap I tell ya!!!



I'll tell you all the same thing I told the cops....it was consensual...it was consensual damnit!!!


:flipoff

[mavs>spurs2]

First time I read this I thought it said ON the table...not with..wow

[Shelly]

Forget all you mofos!!


I'm beating this rap I tell ya!!!



I'll tell you all the same thing I told the cops....it was consensual...it was consensual damnit!!!


:flipoff

Mrs. Chopper not putting out lately??

[peewee's lovechild]

Somehow, I think PeeWee would approve...

No one should come between a man and the love for his table.

[peewee's lovechild]

Paul McCartney was three wooden legs short of being married to a table.

[ShoogarBear]

That table was a carpenter's dream.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Mrs. Chopper not putting out lately??


I don't think I've ever posted a picture of the Mrs.......





Here's one of her with Chopper Jr.:


http://www.gorillaplaysets.com/images/p-kids-picnic-table.jpg

Look how sweet she is to shade our little boy from the sun (note that the umbrella is removed when it's 'lovin time').

[Shelly]

Mrs. Chopper is wearing a lovely 'hat'

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Mrs. Chopper is wearing a lovely 'hat'


That made me :Lol

[Shelly]

What the hell is this??? A gang bang?

http://spoilislandproject.org/news/uploads/img463f6e353ec05.jpg

[ShoogarBear]

http://www.jcaimports.com/assets/images/products/pine_furniture/folda_table_main.jpg


Slut!

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

WTF?!!! An orgy!!


http://www.cvs.rochester.edu/images/wkshp2002_picnic9.jpg

[Shelly]

lolololololol

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

http://www.jcaimports.com/assets/images/products/pine_furniture/folda_table_main.jpg


Slut!


Money shot!

[Shelly]

WTF?!!! An orgy!!


http://www.cvs.rochester.edu/images/wkshp2002_picnic9.jpg


Where does the foil come into play? Extra kink?

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Where does the foil come into play? Extra kink?


At one of these events you definitely need to practice safe sex.






Let's just say splinters can be deadly.

[Shelly]

Pure Heaven!!!

http://i32.tinypic.com/2l9lb1f.jpg

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Pure Heaven!!!

http://i32.tinypic.com/2l9lb1f.jpg


:lol


All I can think when I look at that is I'd hope I brought enough foil.

[Spurfect]

:lmao at all of you

[ShoogarBear]

Pure Heaven!!!

http://i32.tinypic.com/2l9lb1f.jpgEww. Are they all stuck together?

[Shelly]

http://www.germes-online.com/direct/dbimage/50170906/Aluminum_Foil.jpg

[anakha]

Nice.

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/6978/kaneklapae4wf6lm9.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[CuckingFunt]

Pure Heaven!!!

http://i32.tinypic.com/2l9lb1f.jpgIs this the picnic table equivalent of same sex "experimentation"?

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

After reading this thread, I've got wood.

[boutons_]

"public indecency"

An adult having consensual sex with his picnic table? in his backyard? that's "public"?

I say the fascist police/prosecutor should leave the guy alone. Better in his backyard than at Home Depot. He shows some selectivity, staying true to his table.

[tsb2000]

The way picnic tables dress nowadays, the table had to be askin' for it. :lol

[marini martini]

:lol

If he screwed a Little Tykes picnic table, would that make him a pedophile?

At least he isn't a pedophile :toast

[Vinnie_Johnson]

Damn I was thinking he must have gotten some mad splinters :lol

[sa_kid20]

Wasn't he in the privacy of his own home? :oops
That really shouldn't matter.

[marini martini]

That really shouldn't matter.

Assuming he had a privacy fence! ?

[sa_kid20]

Assuming he had a privacy fence! ?
well lets hope he did :lol

[marini martini]

well lets hope he did :lol

At least he wasn't rubbing one out on it :toast

[I am Tom]

I tried it once take it from me, it was no picnic!

[1369]

After reading this thread, I've got wood.

Knot means knot.

[Herschel Walker]

Where do you put your cock in?

OR...

Was the table having sex with him? In that case he was definitely a leg man. Ouch.

[Shelly]

Geez, Chopper. Won't you think of the children?

----------------------------------------------------

Ohio man facing charges for having sex with a picnic table
Art Price / Courtesy Bellevue Police
Art Price / Courtesy Bellevue Police

(BELLEVUE, OH) -- Police say a man in Bellevue, Ohio was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.

Police say Price admitted to the crimes -- four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies.

"What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it's likely to be viewed by a minor," Johnson explains.

The Price family did not want to talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his own recognizance.

"He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again -- and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance," says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor.

Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they're now worried about the kids.

"Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don't get a lot of the information so they aren't so cruel to the little kids," says Emily Grote, a neighbor.

This case has police in this small town shaking their heads. "Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around," Johnson says.

Report: WTOL, Toledo
http://www.fox19.com/global/story.asp?s=8083860&ClientType=Printable

[CuckingFunt]

stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex.That makes much more sense.

When the first article was posted, I imagined the guy mounting it in more of a missionary position, which seemed awkward.

[mrsmaalox]

I just ran out to my backyard to check the size of the umbrella hole in my table. It's just like "average" size.