"Pulp Fiction" As Told By The Bard

[1369]

J: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
B: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What?
I know but naught of thy fair country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
B: What?
JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat
J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: What?
JULES strikes and BRETT cries out
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: Nay!
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With aught but Lady Wallace, whom he wed.

[Mister Sinister]

:lmao Oh, wow.

[Avitus1]

Interesting..

[GinobiliLooms]

very nice. Can you do the Royale with Cheese conversation?

[1369]

very nice. Can you do the Royale with Cheese conversation?

J: And know'st thou what the French name cottage pie?
V: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
J: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
V: What say they then, pray?
J: Hachis Parmentier.
V: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
J: Cream is but cream, only they say le crème.
V: What do they name black pudding?
J: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.

[J.T.]

This is...

This is...

This is awesome.

[ShoogarBear]

:lol Is this a Google translator?

[J.T.]

4WiRbjkbNpE

[Twisted_Dawg]

If you can pull off the coffee in the kitchen then you are truly a God.

[Dex]

:lmao^x if x equals the awesomeness of the post.

[curtismedellin]

J: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
B: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What?
I know but naught of thy fair country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
B: What?
JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat
J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: What?
JULES strikes and BRETT cries out
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: Nay!
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With aught but Lady Wallace, whom he wed.

That is freakin hilarious. If you got more "Pulp" post it!!!!

[curtismedellin]

J: And know'st thou what the French name cottage pie?
V: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
J: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
V: What say they then, pray?
J: Hachis Parmentier.
V: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
J: Cream is but cream, only they say le crème.
V: What do they name black pudding?
J: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.

Shit fuckin' MONEY :lmao

You'll probably have loads of requests, heres mine The conversation Jules has with Hunny Bunny at the resturant, that would be GOLD!!!

[ShoogarBear]

After coffee, you must then go medieval with Zed and friends.

[ShoogarBear]

Hahaha: http://pulpbard.wikispaces.com/

[Dex]

Nice googlin', Shoog!


Jul.: This wine which thou hast spilled into our cups
surpasses that which knaves such as myself
and my companion rightly should deserve.
Had thou offered drink most meanly made,
our satisfaction should have been profound.
Thine hospitality is hap'ly met.
Pray tell, from what sweet vineyard doth this wine,
so finely aged, find its origin?

Jim.: I say, Julie, cease this pretense at once.

Jul.: What?

Jim.: I am no vegetable or sour bean
that suet should sweet my tone and make me less
enraged than currently I am with thee.
Your words inform me not; the wine is mine.
I purchased it; I know its quality.
My wife buys wine of lesser grade than this.
I buy only the finest drink, for when
I quaff, I savor that which I imbibe.
But lo! What troubles me anon is not
the wine within my larder, aging well.
Rather upon me is a broken Moor
within my carriage-yard.

Jul.: Hear this, Jimmie--

Jim.: I speak! Now with an inquiry for thee:
Upon arriving on my property,
Didst chance to read a sign which beckoned out,
"Dead ###### Storage" declaring my trade?

Jul.: My host, I beg you to--

Jim.: A question has been posed!
Hast thou seen a sign which vilely reads,
"Dead ###### Storage" welcoming
this burden which thou hast presented me?

Jul.: No, liege, I saw no such.

Jim.: And knowest thou
why thou hast never seen such sign?

Jul.: Why, friend?

Jim.: Because, by God's white teeth, my residence
is not dead ###### storage for your use!

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Respect for finding this. :toast

Some Shakespearean theatre company should do Pulp Fiction entirely by the Bard! I'd go see it. :lol

[Twisted_Dawg]

"But lo! What troubles me anon is not
the wine within my larder, aging well.
Rather upon me is a broken Moor
within my carriage-yard."

Broken Moor.............fucking hilarious!