Diary: Cat vs. Dog

[mrsmaalox]

Diary: Cat vs. Dog

The Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

------------------------------------------

The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

[Don Quixote]

Cats rule us. One day they're going to take over.

[remingtonbo2001]

Cats rule us. One day they're going to take over.

But look how much fun the dog is having.

Ignorance is bliss.

[balli]

But look how much fun the dog is having.

Ignorance is bliss.

I must say, the existential dichotomy in this thread is something I didn't expect.

[ShoogarBear]

How are they writing these diaries?

[mrsmaalox]

How are they writing these diaries?

Well obviously the dog has recieved pen and paper from the captors for his good behavior. The cat is scribbling notes on the back of old "Little Friskies" labels and having them smuggled out by the only benevolent captor.....sheesh :rolleyes

[Elraptor]

I love cats more. There both great pets though in my opinion.

I have 2 dogs and 4 cats.

[Don Quixote]

Yes. Their common lack of opposable thumbs would make writing difficult.

Now, if they've somehow mastered typing or dictating into some device, then they'd be in business.

[ShoogarBear]

Or if they had laptops, they could probably get the correct keys with their nose or paws.

However, we can deduce that said laptops would not have Internet access, else the cat would be able to communicate for help.

[mrsmaalox]

The cat isn't too computer savvy


http://www.theness.net/babygus/12-24-05/105_0561.jpg

[CubanMustGo]

Or if they had laptops, they could probably get the correct keys with their nose or paws.

However, we can deduce that said laptops would not have Internet access, else the cat would be able to communicate for help.


ROFL. My wife's cat jumped on her keyboard yesterday morning. Next thing I know I here the IM beep go off - the cat managed to start AIM, but I shooed her away nefore she could complete the message she was composing to my father-in-law.

[angel_luv]

That was really cute, Mrs. Maalox.

[atxrocker]

i fucking hate cats. arrogant, pretentious, cocky sons a bitches. dog guy through and through. fuck yo cat, nigga!

dogs>>>>>>cats

[Soul_Patch]

Heh i laughed the first time i saw this, and this time...funny stuff.


http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/270909735_3d641143ff.jpg

[Soul_Patch]

best cat pic site

http://www.roflcat.com/

[mrsmaalox]

That was really cute, Mrs. Maalox.

Thank you. My daughter was a little sad that I didn't credit her with it so there you go.

[tlongII]

dogs think they're people
cats think they're God

Lame...

[Don Quixote]

Cats' reputation for being aces at catching rats and mice is not deserved. My cats are most decidedly overrated in that department. They don't catch squat.

I'll take a Boston terrier over 10 cats to catch mice. The cat, if indeed he demurrs to catch one, might play with it awhile and kill it. But don't ask him to catch any more for awhile -- he's union, after all.

A good dog will stomp a rat or a mouse, then look for more.

[1369]

http://www.catwack.com/pics/309.jpg

[missmyzte]

My cat was in the window yesterday going crazy, I looked out the window and couldn't figure out what he was looking at. I finally went outside and saw it...
A snail. My cat was going crazy because he saw a snail.
Silly thing...

[balli]

A good dog will stomp a rat or a mouse, then look for more.

I went to my uncle's farm in N. Ireland a few years back and watched his 2 Jack Russells take out a whole colony of rats in about a minute. I'm not normally into watching things die, but I have to admit it was pretty damn cool.