duncan228
04-26-2008, 03:05 AM
http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/8074920/Phoenix-fans-don't-have-sunny-disposition
Phoenix fans don't have sunny disposition
by Randy Hill
PHOENIX - The few remaining signs of life on Planet Orange are at the mercy of a respirator or already dismissed as an elaborate hoax.
By the way, those unfamiliar with this season's well-intentioned marketing campaign are hereby informed that Planet Orange is the ancestral home of the Phoenix Suns.
For the record, it's usually a swell place until late April or early May.
The first thing you notice while visiting Planet Orange is a caliber of gravity that allows the prevailing bitterness to pollute the air like the smoke from a machine-made cigar.
But it should be noted that the bitterness is come by honestly.
For example, Friday's 115-99 loss to the San Antonio Spurs put the Suns in an 0-3 first-round Western Conference playoff series predicament that — based on history — is as tricky to rally back from as the Ebola virus. Leaning into elimination's brink is considered far worse than usual in Phoenix because this situation was initiated by the vigorously hated Spurs.
This hatred was escorted to a fever pitch, of course, by last season's suspension-enhanced failure to defeat San Antonio in the second round. The civic regard for the Spurs is so prickly now that an otherwise stellar fan base often is moved to fits of Suns-related whining.
The whine topics include excessive opponent flopping, conspiracy-theory officiating and the free-throw deliberations of Spurs superstar Tim Duncan, who has reached this Springfield-level greatness despite being unable to leap a speeding Aston-Martin in a single YouTube bound.
Anyway, Game 3 was so bad that the good citizens of Planet Orange were provoked into aiming a good deal of their eager bitterness at the Suns. A telling moment arrived early in the third quarter, when a Spurs bucket resulted in a 70-50 San Antonio advantage and a wrath-releasing Phoenix timeout.
The crisis was so severe that The Gorilla — the Suns' superb mascot and the most athletic employee remaining after the Shawn Marion trade — strolled into the media room, sat down at the interview table during this break and shook his head in theatrically understated dismay.
But the anti-Suns sentiment is not exactly free of precedent. With the Planet ripe for the magma of blame to erupt, the most popular target has been (ta-da) coach Mike "Hot Seat" D'Antoni.
Considered an offensive mastermind and candidate for certifiable genius when the Suns were establishing that erstwhile blitzkrieg fast break, D'Antoni now seems like a candidate to be launched into another orbit.
"That's all baloney," said Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, in an unsolicited attempt to salute the Suns and what they do. "They wanted it just as badly as we did. They played just as hard as we did."
Of particular and lingering concern to Planet Orange diehards has been D'Antoni's insistence on keeping his reserves on the bench longer than Judge Judy.
Tony Parker lit up the Suns for a career-high 41 points. ( / Getty Images)
In Game 3, the anti-D'Antoni faction could add his decision to have two-time MVP Steve Nash attempt to guard Spurs point guard Tony Parker when the game began. Having Nash — who seems incapable of staying in front of a dribble-driving lawn jockey — on Parker meant that Phoenix would be defending the nasty Duncan-Parker screen-and-roll with the veteran point guard and Shaquille O'Neal. Putting Nash and O'Neal in screen-and-roll defense is too much like the super-delegates choosing Harold and Kumar for the Democratic presidential ticket.
With Parker (he finished with a career-high 41 points) spanking the Suns for 13 points, San Antonio bagged 61 percent of its shots and ended the first quarter with a 33-19 lead.
But to his credit, D'Antoni answered with some furious adjusting.
"I thought we tried a little of everything," he said.
These maneuvers included rolling out a 2-3 zone defense that — considering his team's defensive skill — was as suspect as hiring a squad of mimes as bodyguards.
Hey, the guy had to try something. Unfortunately, the zone participants looked like they'd missed a few rehearsals and failed to gain much traction as the game digressed.
"They didn't miss anything," D'Antoni said of the Spurs, who actually missed 43.9 percent of their field-goal attempts over four quarters. "We didn't have a whole lot of answers. They were almost perfect."
D-Antoni also attempted to goose his suddenly pedestrian offense back to life by going to a jumbo package — in addition to lining up O'Neal and Amare Stoudemire near the lane, the Suns had reserve finesse big man Boris Diaw in the game at the same time. Posting up the 6-foot-9 Diaw against 6-6 Ime Udoka and, eventually, Manu Ginobili resulted in a few double-team situations that allowed the Suns to squeeze off a few rounds before the Spurs defenders could rotate.
Abetted by a Leandro Barbosa sighting, the Suns pulled to within six at 37-31 with 8:04 left in the opening half.
But this occurred less than 30 real-time minutes before the serious booing and that sign of media-room grief from the Gorilla, who — come to think of it — may have enough bounce, quickness and chutzpah to keep Parker out of the lane.
It probably doesn't matter now that the Suns are forced to either duplicate the comeback skill of the 2004 Boston Red Sox or look forward to expected roster-purge discussions.
With the mighty contract of O'Neal hardly mitigated by the possession of a relatively high pick earned by the Atlanta Hawks, upgrading the roster will be no hayride.
If the Suns fail to slaughter these odds, we'll see if D'Antoni returns to Planet Orange or becomes free to land somewhere.
Considering the loyalty of the fan base and quality of the franchise, it should not be considered an escape.
Phoenix fans don't have sunny disposition
by Randy Hill
PHOENIX - The few remaining signs of life on Planet Orange are at the mercy of a respirator or already dismissed as an elaborate hoax.
By the way, those unfamiliar with this season's well-intentioned marketing campaign are hereby informed that Planet Orange is the ancestral home of the Phoenix Suns.
For the record, it's usually a swell place until late April or early May.
The first thing you notice while visiting Planet Orange is a caliber of gravity that allows the prevailing bitterness to pollute the air like the smoke from a machine-made cigar.
But it should be noted that the bitterness is come by honestly.
For example, Friday's 115-99 loss to the San Antonio Spurs put the Suns in an 0-3 first-round Western Conference playoff series predicament that — based on history — is as tricky to rally back from as the Ebola virus. Leaning into elimination's brink is considered far worse than usual in Phoenix because this situation was initiated by the vigorously hated Spurs.
This hatred was escorted to a fever pitch, of course, by last season's suspension-enhanced failure to defeat San Antonio in the second round. The civic regard for the Spurs is so prickly now that an otherwise stellar fan base often is moved to fits of Suns-related whining.
The whine topics include excessive opponent flopping, conspiracy-theory officiating and the free-throw deliberations of Spurs superstar Tim Duncan, who has reached this Springfield-level greatness despite being unable to leap a speeding Aston-Martin in a single YouTube bound.
Anyway, Game 3 was so bad that the good citizens of Planet Orange were provoked into aiming a good deal of their eager bitterness at the Suns. A telling moment arrived early in the third quarter, when a Spurs bucket resulted in a 70-50 San Antonio advantage and a wrath-releasing Phoenix timeout.
The crisis was so severe that The Gorilla — the Suns' superb mascot and the most athletic employee remaining after the Shawn Marion trade — strolled into the media room, sat down at the interview table during this break and shook his head in theatrically understated dismay.
But the anti-Suns sentiment is not exactly free of precedent. With the Planet ripe for the magma of blame to erupt, the most popular target has been (ta-da) coach Mike "Hot Seat" D'Antoni.
Considered an offensive mastermind and candidate for certifiable genius when the Suns were establishing that erstwhile blitzkrieg fast break, D'Antoni now seems like a candidate to be launched into another orbit.
"That's all baloney," said Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, in an unsolicited attempt to salute the Suns and what they do. "They wanted it just as badly as we did. They played just as hard as we did."
Of particular and lingering concern to Planet Orange diehards has been D'Antoni's insistence on keeping his reserves on the bench longer than Judge Judy.
Tony Parker lit up the Suns for a career-high 41 points. ( / Getty Images)
In Game 3, the anti-D'Antoni faction could add his decision to have two-time MVP Steve Nash attempt to guard Spurs point guard Tony Parker when the game began. Having Nash — who seems incapable of staying in front of a dribble-driving lawn jockey — on Parker meant that Phoenix would be defending the nasty Duncan-Parker screen-and-roll with the veteran point guard and Shaquille O'Neal. Putting Nash and O'Neal in screen-and-roll defense is too much like the super-delegates choosing Harold and Kumar for the Democratic presidential ticket.
With Parker (he finished with a career-high 41 points) spanking the Suns for 13 points, San Antonio bagged 61 percent of its shots and ended the first quarter with a 33-19 lead.
But to his credit, D'Antoni answered with some furious adjusting.
"I thought we tried a little of everything," he said.
These maneuvers included rolling out a 2-3 zone defense that — considering his team's defensive skill — was as suspect as hiring a squad of mimes as bodyguards.
Hey, the guy had to try something. Unfortunately, the zone participants looked like they'd missed a few rehearsals and failed to gain much traction as the game digressed.
"They didn't miss anything," D'Antoni said of the Spurs, who actually missed 43.9 percent of their field-goal attempts over four quarters. "We didn't have a whole lot of answers. They were almost perfect."
D-Antoni also attempted to goose his suddenly pedestrian offense back to life by going to a jumbo package — in addition to lining up O'Neal and Amare Stoudemire near the lane, the Suns had reserve finesse big man Boris Diaw in the game at the same time. Posting up the 6-foot-9 Diaw against 6-6 Ime Udoka and, eventually, Manu Ginobili resulted in a few double-team situations that allowed the Suns to squeeze off a few rounds before the Spurs defenders could rotate.
Abetted by a Leandro Barbosa sighting, the Suns pulled to within six at 37-31 with 8:04 left in the opening half.
But this occurred less than 30 real-time minutes before the serious booing and that sign of media-room grief from the Gorilla, who — come to think of it — may have enough bounce, quickness and chutzpah to keep Parker out of the lane.
It probably doesn't matter now that the Suns are forced to either duplicate the comeback skill of the 2004 Boston Red Sox or look forward to expected roster-purge discussions.
With the mighty contract of O'Neal hardly mitigated by the possession of a relatively high pick earned by the Atlanta Hawks, upgrading the roster will be no hayride.
If the Suns fail to slaughter these odds, we'll see if D'Antoni returns to Planet Orange or becomes free to land somewhere.
Considering the loyalty of the fan base and quality of the franchise, it should not be considered an escape.