Popovich call Spurs a WNBA team

[acidsmoke86]

SAN ANTONIO, TX — Things are not looking good for the defending NBA Champion San Antonio Spurs.

“I’ve always said that we’re a fundamentally sound team, and if fans don’t find that interesting it’s their problem,” said head coach Greg Popovich. “But having to sit through practice this morning was brutal. I mean, it felt like I was watching a fucking WNBA game. Good God – I called it a day so I could go watch paint dry. Not really, but you get my point.”

Popovich told press he cancelled practice after less than an hour when he and two assistant coaches fell asleep. Forward Tim Duncan said he was worried Popovich had gone into a coma.

“He went out like a light,” Duncan said. “Everything seemed normal – but then maybe that was the problem. We were just beginning the flopping section of our practice, and he just literally fell out of his chair.

“Pop seemed kind of upset when we woke him up. I asked if he wanted to watch me practice my bank shot for 20 or 30 minutes – that usually cheers him up, but he just cancelled the rest of practice.”

Despite the less-than-ideal practice and general lack of preparation, none of the Spurs thought it would hurt them in tonight’s game against the Lakers.

“If anything, we can use this to our advantage,” said Manu Ginobli. “We start to lull them to sleep, and then BOOM! – we lull them to sleep some more.

Popovich said he would be sure to drink a ridiculous amount of caffeine before tonight’s game, despite warnings from his doctor.

“It’s either a four-pack of Red Bull every 15 minutes or we play an up-tempo game,” he said. “And I don’t think we’ll be running many fast breaks tonight.”

[SpursFan0728]

fuck off

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

SAN ANTONIO, TX — Things are not looking good for the defending NBA Champion San Antonio Spurs.

“I’ve always said that we’re a fundamentally sound team, and if fans don’t find that interesting it’s their problem,” said head coach Greg Popovich. “But having to sit through practice this morning was brutal. I mean, it felt like I was watching a fucking WNBA game. Good God – I called it a day so I could go watch paint dry. Not really, but you get my point.”

Popovich told press he cancelled practice after less than an hour when he and two assistant coaches fell asleep. Forward Tim Duncan said he was worried Popovich had gone into a coma.

“He went out like a light,” Duncan said. “Everything seemed normal – but then maybe that was the problem. We were just beginning the flopping section of our practice, and he just literally fell out of his chair.

“Pop seemed kind of upset when we woke him up. I asked if he wanted to watch me practice my bank shot for 20 or 30 minutes – that usually cheers him up, but he just cancelled the rest of practice.”

Despite the less-than-ideal practice and general lack of preparation, none of the Spurs thought it would hurt them in tonight’s game against the Lakers.

“If anything, we can use this to our advantage,” said Manu Ginobli. “We start to lull them to sleep, and then BOOM! – we lull them to sleep some more.

Popovich said he would be sure to drink a ridiculous amount of caffeine before tonight’s game, despite warnings from his doctor.

“It’s either a four-pack of Red Bull every 15 minutes or we play an up-tempo game,” he said. “And I don’t think we’ll be running many fast breaks tonight.”

Troll job killed in 5 seconds.

[pooh]

But it's funny though, have to admit that.

[MadDog73]

It's not bad actually.

Kind of funny.

Still, kicking a team when they're down?

[ChumpDumper]

But it's funny though, have to admit that.I think the story of your becoming a Pacer fan would be funnier.

[TheProfessor]

But it's funny though, have to admit that.
No, pretty lame, actually. Onion does Spurs' parody much better.

[rAm]

hahaha, I liked this part.


SAN ANTONIO, TX — Things are not looking good for the defending NBA Champion San Antonio Spurs.

“I’ve always said that we’re a fundamentally sound team, and if fans don’t find that interesting it’s their problem,” said head coach Greg Popovich. “But having to sit through practice this morning was brutal. I mean, it felt like I was watching a fucking WNBA game. Good God – I called it a day so I could go watch paint dry. Not really, but you get my point.”

Popovich told press he cancelled practice after less than an hour when he and two assistant coaches fell asleep. Forward Tim Duncan said he was worried Popovich had gone into a coma.

“He went out like a light,” Duncan said. “Everything seemed normal – but then maybe that was the problem. We were just beginning the flopping section of our practice, and he just literally fell out of his chair.

“Pop seemed kind of upset when we woke him up. I asked if he wanted to watch me practice my bank shot for 20 or 30 minutes – that usually cheers him up, but he just cancelled the rest of practice.”

Despite the less-than-ideal practice and general lack of preparation, none of the Spurs thought it would hurt them in tonight’s game against the Lakers.

“If anything, we can use this to our advantage,” said Manu Ginobli. “We start to lull them to sleep, and then BOOM! – we lull them to sleep some more.

Popovich said he would be sure to drink a ridiculous amount of caffeine before tonight’s game, despite warnings from his doctor.

“It’s either a four-pack of Red Bull every 15 minutes or we play an up-tempo game,” he said. “And I don’t think we’ll be running many fast breaks tonight.”

[IronMexican]

I think he is trying the Phil Jackson treatment. phil does this to Pau like every round.

[Spurminator]

Cleverly written but the premise is unimaginative. Find something to satirize about the Spurs that hasn't been beaten into the ground for the last decade and you've got a winner. :tu

[jokyfo]

The San Anphonio Sterns never had a dynasty. They have never won even 2 in a row.

You have to at least repeat as champs and defend your title sucessfully to even be considered to have a dynasty.

NO DYNASTY!

[jag]

"We were just beginning the flopping section of our practice"

:lol

[EJK5032]

The Onion strikes again ?

that actually was pretty effen funny.

Spurs in 7 !!!

[turiaf for president]

lol

[sedale threatt]

lakers have been playing us so tight we don't even have room to flop!