J.T.
06-18-2008, 03:43 AM
David Stern calls Kobe after the Celtics win the NBA title.
*ring, ring*
Kobe's call tone is "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
Kobe: Hello?
Stern: Kobe, it's David Stern. I told you the refs had your back tonight, what gives?
Kobe: I'm sorry, Dave. Their defense was just too good. Paul Pierce. . .
Stern: You got shut down by Paul Pierce? Paul "I tanked 2007 to get Greg Oden and all I got was the 2008 NBA Championship" Pierce?
Kobe: Did I stutter?
Stern: You better watch your tone, young man.
Kobe: My bad.
Stern: What about the rest of your team, where the hell were they?
Kobe: Do you even know who's on my team?
Stern: I know you have a few Euros on your team that need to get traded. I'd tell the Spurs to stop drafting foreigners too, but nobody watches their games.
Kobe: So trade the foreigners. Gotcha.
Stern: How the fuck did Doc Rivers out-coach Phil?
Kobe: You can start at Phil putting the Machine on Ray Allen.
Stern: Who's the Machine?
Kobe: Sasha Vujacic.
Stern: Who?
Kobe: Never mind.
Stern: Hold on Kobe, I'm getting a beep.
*Stern has Kobe on hold for a few minutes.*
Stern: Sorry about that. My granddaughter is turning 21 next week and we're going to Vegas. The casino was just confirming my 15 million dollar buy in to Texas Hold 'Em. Is it okay that I gave them your credit card number?
Kobe: Wait. Did you say 21 years old?
Stern: That's what I said.
Kobe: Send me a pic?
Stern: Okay, hold on.
*Stern sends Kobe a picture from his Blackberry*
Kobe: DAMN! Can I get her number?
Stern: What for?
Kobe: Um... so I can... uh... call her and wish her happy birthday?
Stern: That's nice. Her number is 555-DON-AGHY.
Kobe: Cool. Hey, uh... I gotta go Commish. Gotta talk to Mitch about trading those foreigners, y'know?
Stern: Yeah you better get on that. Bye.
*Stern hangs up*
Stern: But I didn't tell him when her birthday is. . .
*Kobe calls Stern's granddaughter, Cindy*
Cindy: Hello?
Kobe: Hey girl, this is Kobe Bryant.
Cindy: Oh hi! What's up?
Kobe: Hey, um... Can I come on your face?
*ring, ring*
Kobe's call tone is "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
Kobe: Hello?
Stern: Kobe, it's David Stern. I told you the refs had your back tonight, what gives?
Kobe: I'm sorry, Dave. Their defense was just too good. Paul Pierce. . .
Stern: You got shut down by Paul Pierce? Paul "I tanked 2007 to get Greg Oden and all I got was the 2008 NBA Championship" Pierce?
Kobe: Did I stutter?
Stern: You better watch your tone, young man.
Kobe: My bad.
Stern: What about the rest of your team, where the hell were they?
Kobe: Do you even know who's on my team?
Stern: I know you have a few Euros on your team that need to get traded. I'd tell the Spurs to stop drafting foreigners too, but nobody watches their games.
Kobe: So trade the foreigners. Gotcha.
Stern: How the fuck did Doc Rivers out-coach Phil?
Kobe: You can start at Phil putting the Machine on Ray Allen.
Stern: Who's the Machine?
Kobe: Sasha Vujacic.
Stern: Who?
Kobe: Never mind.
Stern: Hold on Kobe, I'm getting a beep.
*Stern has Kobe on hold for a few minutes.*
Stern: Sorry about that. My granddaughter is turning 21 next week and we're going to Vegas. The casino was just confirming my 15 million dollar buy in to Texas Hold 'Em. Is it okay that I gave them your credit card number?
Kobe: Wait. Did you say 21 years old?
Stern: That's what I said.
Kobe: Send me a pic?
Stern: Okay, hold on.
*Stern sends Kobe a picture from his Blackberry*
Kobe: DAMN! Can I get her number?
Stern: What for?
Kobe: Um... so I can... uh... call her and wish her happy birthday?
Stern: That's nice. Her number is 555-DON-AGHY.
Kobe: Cool. Hey, uh... I gotta go Commish. Gotta talk to Mitch about trading those foreigners, y'know?
Stern: Yeah you better get on that. Bye.
*Stern hangs up*
Stern: But I didn't tell him when her birthday is. . .
*Kobe calls Stern's granddaughter, Cindy*
Cindy: Hello?
Kobe: Hey girl, this is Kobe Bryant.
Cindy: Oh hi! What's up?
Kobe: Hey, um... Can I come on your face?