So I hear from Yahoo! news that Newt Gingrich has informed us all that Obama is the "most radical president ever" and the mastermind of a "secular, socialist machine."
(I will pause while the Critique From The Left contingent convulses with bitter ironic laughter.)
You know what, Newt? STFU. You're done. You had nothing to offer but obstructionism and hatred back in the Clinton era and clearly not a single atom of your heart, mind, or hair has evolved in any way since then. (I suppose that is only to be expected, given your base's stance on that whole question.) All that bullshit you pulled out during the "Contract for America" days--or, as we old-timers used to call it, "The Contract On America"--well, you guys had 8 years to execute your master plan for the salvation of the United States of America and its collective soul under your idiot king George W. Bush. You guys happy with how that worked out? No? Well, a) you had your shot b) you blew it and c) wouldn't this maybe suggest to you that your master plan was a load of crap?
Still no, you say? Well, that's what the Bush administration years suggested to a lot of *other* Americans who used to think you were awesome.
So, you know, go ahead and spew what's in you all over whatever media outlets you can reach; but don't expect people to care. Cause all you've got to offer is the same shit that didn't work last time, and the only difference is that you're now 15 years older and less telegenic than you were when you first brought it forth.
While I'm on the subject: Karl Rove, do you *seriously* think anyone's going to buy your memoirs and read them thinking, "Ah, at last, the truth!"? Seriously now. In this economy, who's shelling out their hard-earned dough to pay for the kind of boldfaced lying we used to be able to get for free from you?
But you know what, Newt, go ahead and run. Cause the whole old-cranky-conservative with no new ideas thing worked out so well for you last time. Oh, sorry, I meant it worked out so well for *us.*
