Forde Yard Dash...Hilarious

[johngateswhiteley]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/colum...00000000000000

[Bob Lanier]

The attack ad: (Open with slow-motion video of an Illinois quarterback -- pick one -- throwing an interception.) "The Big Ten likes to talk about its best teams, but it doesn't like to talk about anyone else in the league. What is the Big Ten trying to hide?" (Roll slow-motion tape of an Indiana running back -- pick one -- being hammered for a 3-yard loss.) "Could it be that the Big Ten really doesn't care about its middle class and working poor? Could it be that the bottom of this league is as bad as it's ever been?" (Roll slow-motion tape of a Northwestern defensive player -- pick one -- missing a tackle against New Hampshire.) "Seven of the league's 11 teams are lacking a quality nonconference win, defined as a team ranked in the top 50 of the Sagarin Ratings. And seven teams have played schedules ranked 61st or worse to date by Sagarin. When the Big Ten talks, remember the story it isn't telling you."

[Brutalis]

nice link

Southeastern Conference

Their ad: (Open with video of Mike Slive (24) wearing a helmet and riding in a tank.) "Nobody is stronger on defense issues than the SEC. This isn't just the toughest conference in the country, it's the toughest conference to score in, too." (Show graphic of the AP Top 10.) "Four teams in the Top 10 -- it's a landmark achievement for most leagues. For the SEC, it's a fairly common occurrence -- the eighth time it's happened since we expanded to 12 teams in 1991." (Show graphic of October games to come.) "No league is set for a bigger, better month than us. Oct. 7: LSU at Florida, Tennessee at Georgia. Oct. 14: Florida at Auburn. Oct. 21: Alabama at Tennessee. Oct. 28: Florida versus Georgia in Jacksonville. You won't be able to take your eyes off of us." (Roll tape of tank opening fire.) "And if the BCS jobs our champion again like it did in 2004, we're invading NCAA headquarters in Indianapolis."

The attack ad: (Open with black-and-white free frame of Slive in the helmet.) "It was a bad look for Michael Dukakis 18 years ago. It's a bad look for Mike Slive today. He knows his league is all talk and no offensive firepower." (Roll tape of incomplete passes and ineffective runs.) "Of the 10 league games played so far, the average regulation score is 20-9. That's not simply good defense." (Roll tape of Alabama-Arkansas, as coaches Houston Nutt (25) and Mike Shula (26) try to out-timid each other.) "It's hopelessly conservative play calling and inept execution." (Roll tape of blundering Mississippi State Bulldogs and Ole Miss Rebels.) "And remember, this is the league that has fostered a growing chasm between the haves and have-nots. Sure, there are four teams in the Top 10 -- but there are also five teams ranked 57th or worse in the Sagarin Ratings. The bottom half of the SEC is no better than the bottom half of the ACC -- in a down year for the ACC."

[johngateswhiteley]

yeah, its all good stuff.