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  1. #1
    Winning is boring. flipcritic's Avatar
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    http://www.flipcritic.net/archives/000171.html

    In my adolescence, I once thought that THE TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE (1986) was one of the best films ever made. Age and access had not yet tinged my moviegoing experience. Such is youth, forever sentimentalizing our early lives and its subjects. Many of us who grew up on these Hasbro heroes still hold them in reverie, regardless of the profound silliness of it all. But we’ve all been young, and boys will be boys in love with their toys.

    For followers of the series, how much you love Michael Bay’s TRANSFORMERS will depend on how much you have grown up (and probably how many decibels your eardrums can take). It seems natural that many of us who collected toy autobots and decepticons might have had great interest in the fields of science, as the mechanics of how these robots transform required inquiry during our younger years. So if you’re like me, watching this movie may not only reveal an onscreen battle between good and evil, but also one's own personal battle between nostalgia and common sense.

    I know that I shouldn’t be applying logic against a concept that was never meant to be logical. Optimus Prime, Megatron and their ilk were not meant to be opposing leaders of a mechanical alien race set against a space epic. They’re cool toys representing the fanciful idea of having normal everyday vehicles transform into humanoid mechas. That’s killing two birds with one stone in toy marketing.

    The problem is that the level of detail and seriousness the film initially builds up begs us to consider its plausibility. The movie’s opening sequence of where a decepticon infiltrates a US military base (apparently in the Middle East) is well-executed and as convincing as can be. Explanations on how these mechas are able to speak English are humorous but (barely) believable. And the initial electronic strategies the decepticons use to hamper US defense systems make sense.

    But when the deeper questions are asked, the house of cards falls apart. These robots transform to blend into earth’s general populace, but why did they ever need to transform in the first place? Was there an evolutionary advantage that morphing gave them on their home world or are they just God’s toys? Why do they speak to communicate as they are electronic beings? If they can reach the earth through space, why do they travel slowly as grounded transport? Couldn’t they all have chosen aircraft functions to replicate? And why in one inexplicable scene are they reduced to comedic stooges hiding from a kid’s parents in his backyard?

    Surely these and other queries are supposed to be ignored, but my inquisitive side keeps on tugging on my id. If your inner child wins out however, there are worthy sights to behold. The transformers themselves have been bravely redesigned, which is refreshingly the correct choice as opposed to keeping their original forms. Though some characters from the cartoon series will be familiar, the vehicular alter-egos have been totally revamped to fit current tastes (and toy franchising needs). Mecha battles engaged in Los Angeles are at times breathtaking, none more than Starscream’s low-flying dogfighting maneuvers. Fans will likely warm to some in-jokes (a decepticon police car motto), a jab at “My Little Pony” (a fellow Hasbro franchise), and surely, hearing Peter Cullen’s voicing of Prime.

    Speaking of which, this gloriously authoritative father-figure lacks presence and warmth. Animated characters by their very nature more stylized and symbolic; highlighting their traits to an almost elemental level. How ironic that Optimus Prime in all his CGI glory projects less heroism and gravitas than his hand-drawn version. Perhaps it is our youth that taints our view, plus the all-to realistic detail of the film’s special effects makes him look more of a machine and less of a hero (or maybe it’s because now we can see his mouth move?). Shia LaBeouf, as the young Sam Witwicky who stumbles onto the robotic conflict, is the only well-rounded character worth following. He keeps it interesting, but can only do so much.

    From a cinematic view, Michael Bay was born to direct this movie. He just loves toys, as not one of his films to date has had an unexploded vehicle. In filming convincing human dynamics however, he hasn’t got a clue, as evidenced in one scene where he tries miserably and awkwardly in getting us to feel bad for an autobot’s capture. His methods have deteriorated as he irritatingly refuses to stop using shaky camera movements during conflict, and dozens of slow motion sequences, mistaking disorientation and distraction for a frenzied perspective. For the life of me, I don’t understand why he cannot just let the action speak for itself.

    As you can see, I’ve grown up a bit too far from my guilelessness to enjoy TRANSFORMERS. I do not disdain this kind of entertainment. Truth be told, its writing is better than I thought it would be, but its fancy façade can’t hide its flaws for those who want more substance. I find Prime deserving of better treatment, but considering its source, this might be as good as it gets. So enjoy it if you can. I tried and couldn’t.

  2. #2
    uups stups! Cant_Be_Faded's Avatar
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    If they had inserted every recording of Chris Latta's voice into a computer, used a voice creating program and used that as Starscream's voice, I gaurantee you the rewatchability of this film would increase by 15% that means more money via rentals and DVD sales.

    Sad. Michael Bay still remains a big giant nasty .

  3. #3
    uups stups! Cant_Be_Faded's Avatar
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    His methods have deteriorated as he irritatingly refuses to stop using shaky camera movements during conflict,
    oh my god dude please be ting me


    these ing juvenile cinemetography effects are exactly what is wrong with the movie scene today (besides matrix-slow mo effects which are [thank god] almost out of the way)



    Shia LaBeouf, as the young Sam Witwicky who stumbles onto the robotic conflict, is the only well-rounded character worth following. He keeps it interesting, but can only do so much.
    I told ya'll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god dammit i told yall michael bay would make this film focus on the humans, and their personal feeligns and conflicts....
    God dammit i hate michael bay

    ing HACK


    omg what a freaking travesty....to think that 4 people you know in your own personal relationships could have made this potentially bad ass movie idea into a better movie than is actually being released to every marriott's pleasure...jesus christ
    another sign of the fall of the empire

  4. #4
    Veteran L.I.T's Avatar
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    You know who I blame for the whole shaky camera thing? Sam Raimi. He effectively used it, and to cool effect, in his Evil Dead trilogy and since then every two-bit action hack has tried to emulate it.

  5. #5
    Big Mo MoSpur's Avatar
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    I'm still gonna see it because I was a huge Transformers fan when I was a kid.

  6. #6
    Chopper Ed Helicopter Jones's Avatar
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    I got hooked on the previews. I missed the Transformers fad as a kid, although I was pretty up on them as two of my younger brothers liked the Transformers. I thought it would be a good movie to see, but it sounds like another overblown Hollywood disaster.

    Pirtates, Spiderman and now Transformers all look to be summer bummers. I was hoping for more from all three. But I'll definitely check out Transformers to see if it disappoints. I'm not intending to question the "why" of the various scenes like the author of the review did, I'm just going to try to enjoy the ride. We'll see how it goes.

  7. #7
    Free Throw Coach Aggie Hoopsfan's Avatar
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    the plot, go to watch Megan Fox.






  8. #8
    Pass The Brew IceColdBrewski's Avatar
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    Never got into the Transformers thing as a kid. I was more of a Bugs Bunny/Scooby Doo/Tom and Jerry kid. I gave the Transformers cartoon a few tries as a kid, but it just never struck my fancy. After that, Tranformers coming on meant it was time to go outside and play.

  9. #9
    Billups to Hamilton Burn531's Avatar
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    The Detroit News movie reviewer hated it in todays paper. I think he gave it a D. I still wanna see it. Looks badass.

  10. #10
    Believe. hello13's Avatar
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    that is UGLY

  11. #11
    Hey Bruce... Lebron is the Rock Sec24Row7's Avatar
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    Variety gave it a good review...

  12. #12
    Chopper Ed Helicopter Jones's Avatar
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    I'd "ugly" her all night.
    Last edited by Ed Helicopter Jones; 07-02-2007 at 06:30 PM.

  13. #13
    You can't handle The Truth TheTruth's Avatar
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    It's a movie about Machines that transform dude, stop trying to "suspend" belief, and enjoy the MOVIE BASED OFF OF CHILDREN'S TOYS!!

    Well now, just got finished watching it. I'm gonna have to give it positive reviews. YES, the human stories sucked, but the Transformer badassedness was more than enough to send me home happy.

    "It is just me and you Megatron."

    "No, it is just me Optimus."



    Oh yeah, Michael Bay can develop a character for , but his action set pieces were out of this world.

  14. #14
    Hedo Layup Drill ShoogarBear's Avatar
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    Wow, that was a really densely-written review. It took too much mental effort to read. I got to about the third paragraph and realized that I didn't want to know Dostoevsky's thoughts on the freakin' Transformers.



    I'll come back when you review the serious fall and winter films.

  15. #15
    asterisk this jaespur21's Avatar
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    my brother is goin to watch it tomorrow ill go off of what he has 2 say aboot it

  16. #16
    REVENGE Avitus1's Avatar
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    The movie was good. If you were a fan of the cartoon series then you'll love this movie. It delivers just about everything you want to see in a TRANSFORMERS movie.

  17. #17
    Start Dice The Red Hood's Avatar
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    So how did everyone like the JJ Abrams trailer?

  18. #18
    Winning is boring. flipcritic's Avatar
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    I'm not trying to be pompously serious. I did admit in the review that there are really breathtaking sites to behold. But because of the way built itself up with all seriousness in the first third of the movie, I felt it was begging me to take seriously.

    So fine I take it seriously.

    Then it starts getting sillier and sillier, as if it had backed off everything it was trying to build up to (at least for me).

    I loved the Transformers. But I know what they are: toys. And this movie is all about toys. So I hope you all remember what I said in the 2nd paragraph:

    How much you will enjoy this film will depend on how much you've grown up. This movie, for me, was a battle between nostalgia and reason. The film relies on nostalgia to carry it through, but my reasoning just wouldn't let go of me.

    Some of my good friends (casual viewers and critics alike) enjoyed this film very much, and I completely understand them (I'm happy they enjoyed it). But for those who will be wanting more substance (e.g. me) will be left wanting more.

    I hope you guys will enjoy it too. I just hope this review gave a good sense of it.

    On some less serious notes. Megatron was the best conceived of all of the mechas. You can't go wrong with Hugo Weaving voicing your primary villain.

    Megan Fox is luscious, but she plays an 11th grader, which is like saying Duncan is still a rookie.

    And Shia Lebouf is wonderful. I don't think I exaggerate when I say he seems to be our generation's Michael J. Fox.
    Last edited by flipcritic; 07-03-2007 at 12:53 AM.

  19. #19
    Believe.
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    I will check it out as soon as I can Transform my RAR files to AVI

  20. #20
    Believe. spursaretheone's Avatar
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    Man I just saw this movie and the last time I heard the audience clap like this was when I went to see Rocky 4 opening night. This movie lived up to the hype and was great. You can't take it too serious because its a movie about giant robots not real people so there were some silly parts but it was funny. I loved it and if you are a fan of the cartoon you should see it.


    Edit: By the way I also heard that they have agreed to two more movies. So maybe there wont be so much human development in the next one for those who hate this movie.

  21. #21
    Give Peace a Chance....Imagine? ZStomp's Avatar
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    I enjoyed the movie immensely.

  22. #22
    You can't handle The Truth TheTruth's Avatar
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    Man I just saw this movie and the last time I heard the audience clap like this was when I went to see Rocky 4 opening night. This movie lived up to the hype and was great. You can't take it too serious because its a movie about giant robots not real people so there were some silly parts but it was funny. I loved it and if you are a fan of the cartoon you should see it.


    Edit: By the way I also heard that they have agreed to two more movies. So maybe there wont be so much human development in the next one for those who hate this movie.
    Fantastic news. Just get rid of Bay.

  23. #23
    Hedo Layup Drill ShoogarBear's Avatar
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    Fantastic news. Just get rid of Bay.
    Yah. I wonder what Uwe Boll is up to?

  24. #24
    I cannot grok its fullnes leemajors's Avatar
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    Yah. I wonder what Uwe Boll is up to?
    Alone in the Dark 2?

  25. #25
    Start Dice The Red Hood's Avatar
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    And Shia Lebouf is wonderful. I don't think I exaggerate when I say he seems to be our generation's Michael J. Fox.
    How so?

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