Michigan man accused of fork, chicken attacks

[mrsmaalox]

With all the talk of soda can, ramen throwing in B2B's thread, this story just seemed really funny to me!


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080627/...uZMHwg5YntiBIF
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Michigan man accused of fork, chicken attacks


JACKSON, Mich. - A man was accused of stabbing his mother with a fork and assaulting a second woman with 10 pounds of frozen chicken.

Frederick Duane McKaney, 40, of Ypsilanti, was arraigned Wednesday in 12th District Court in Jackson. He faces two felony assault charges as well as one count of assault and battery and one count of resisting an officer.

Prosecutors said McKaney stabbed his mother in the back of the neck with a fork Monday night.

About an hour later, he hit a woman in the head with a plastic bag of frozen chicken. They had exchanged rude words while he rode his bicycle. She needed five surgical staples to close her wound.

McKaney has no attorney on record with the court.

A pre-exam conference is scheduled for July 2.

[ATRAIN]

Where do you find these crap articles?

[anakha]

About an hour later, he hit a woman in the head with a plastic bag of frozen chicken. They had exchanged rude words while he rode his bicycle. She needed five surgical staples to close her wound.

Points for originality and effectiveness of weapon, if nothing else.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

i'm glad it wasn't raw chicken

[marini martini]

About an hour later, he hit a woman in the head with a plastic bag of frozen chicken.

i'm glad it wasn't raw chicken

Gotcha some Biller Miller's iced tea, again?

Isn't frozen chicken usually raw?

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Points for originality and effectiveness of weapon, if nothing else.

Yeah, MacGyver would be proud.

[desflood]

We're headed up there for vacation in a couple of weeks. Hope we don't run into that guy.

[Sportcamper]

Scientists at NASA built a device to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets, the space shuttle, etc. The idea being to simulate collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the device and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made and a device was sent to the British engineers.

When device was fired, the British engineers were shocked... the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken."

[marini martini]

^^^
Now, that's funny!

[Mister Sinister]

Scientists at NASA built a device to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets, the space shuttle, etc. The idea being to simulate collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the device and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made and a device was sent to the British engineers.

When device was fired, the British engineers were shocked... the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken."

Oh, God help me, I lol'd.

[mrsmaalox]

Scientists at NASA built a device to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets, the space shuttle, etc. The idea being to simulate collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the device and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made and a device was sent to the British engineers.

When device was fired, the British engineers were shocked... the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken."

[anakha]

Holy crap.

I'll never doubt the unholy power of frozen chicken again.

[DarkReign]

Scientists at NASA built a device to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets, the space shuttle, etc. The idea being to simulate collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the device and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made and a device was sent to the British engineers.

When device was fired, the British engineers were shocked... the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken."

Cant be true. Cmooon....