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For the first time I think you have absolutely left everyone speechless.
About 6 months ago I became so fed up with where I work that I stop doing all the little things to help people out. At first I thought it was no big deal but the more I avoid helping people the more fun it becomes.
I'll provide you with some examples.
If you put our phones on hold they ring back to the same phone after holding for 45 seconds and quite loudly too. So I always answer the phone near my boss's office. They'll ask for someone who I know won't hear a page or who I know isn't even at work but I'll put the customer on hold anyway so it rings back until the customer gets tired of holding and hangs up. This annoys the out of my boss. He's constantly getting up to answer the ring back only to find out that the person they were holding for isn't even in the office.
When I write a deal up I grab the original invoice and file. Then I'll leave it in the office managers room and watch the service guy dig around in the filing cabinet forever. He needs the file because he needs to know which trailer to pull around back to start a make ready. This pisses him off to no end. He hates not being able to find anything which is ironic because his office is a ing hole. While he's looking around her office I drop the file on his desk. He'll come back in and be like "damn I must have missed it".
Billing for some of our parts comes to us via the fax machine. Since I get to work early I'll read all the faxes before anyone else and stuff important messages inbetween other fax sheets on unsuspecting employees desks. This really s up the office manager and the parts guy plus it makes the employees uncomfortable because they have no idea how they ended up with other peoples messages let alone the shop bills.
One of the things I love doing is hiding the old saleslady's approvals and turndowns in my office. I always get to the reply fax before her and I'll grab all her customer updates so she's constantly going back and forth from the front of the showroom back to the fax looking for these updates. Then she'll get all pissed off about the slow response and call the finance office. When she does that I return the faxes back to the machine to make it look like she missed it all this time.
I also put vaseline on people cokes in the fridge. They are constantly cleaning off the can when they pull their cold drink out. They think somethings wrong with the fridge. I laugh hard inside.
The list goes on. Its the little things that count.
For the first time I think you have absolutely left everyone speechless.
yeah apparently I've gone too far. To think I didn't post the really bad because I didn't want people to think I was a real life .
Oh dear, why would we think that?
any chalk in the erasers yet or are you saving that for the friday before spring break?
that is hilarious!!!! i can see them now......"stupid fridge always leaves this crap on the cans!!"
To late.
I can only imagine what's going to be in the punch at your Christmas party.
I wish I was 10 again.
101 Ways to Annoy Your Co-workers
Many of us are stuck in a cube for most of the day. Why not have some fun with your co-workers. They annoy you day in and day out. Here are 101 ways for you to slowly drive them crazy.
Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
Staple your reports in the wrong corner
Put tape over the mouse optics
Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
Turn your earphones up all the way
Burn popcorn in the microwave
“Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
Turn up the beep volume of the copier
Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
Practice beat boxing
Sing show tunes
Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
Slurp hot coffee during meetings
Walk around the office barefooted
Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
Misplace peoples pens
Insert a 3.5″ disk before they turn on their computer
Glue their mouse to the desk
Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
Turn up the contrast on their monitor
Talk in a funny accent
Use goofy event sounds for your programs
Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
Send flowers from one co-worker to another
Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
Insist on people to have a great morning
Leave hole punches all over
Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
Set a password on someone’s screensaver
Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
Smirk when a co-worker walks by
Eat half of someone’s lunch
Swap co-worker’s chairs
Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
Take all the ice out of the community freezer
Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
Take out the ball in the mouse
Eat sunflower seeds
Tell a long story without a point
Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
Bring Cheetos for food days
Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
Practice drumming on your desk
Use too many paper clips
Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
Express your political views at length
Whisper loudly
Come to work sick
Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
Answer your mobile during meetings
Stand over someone while they are on the phone
Sneak up behind someone
Mess with the thermostat
Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
Leave unusual print outs on the printer
Throw out other people’s prints
Juggle office supplies
Write all your memos on bright colored paper
Be overly nice to people
Hide whiteboard erasers
Chew gum while talking on the phone
Regularly update everyone on the current weather
Read your emails aloud
Leave the fridge open
Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
Whistle all day long
Wear too much cologne/perfume
Type loudly
Wear bright colored clothes
Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
Do the sneaky walk around the office
Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
Use the intercom and page yourself
Swap the regular and decaf coffee
Hide the sugar and creamer
Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
Throw a bouncy ball in your office
Tell the same story over and over
Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you
I've done that once at every job I've ever had.
It works everytime.
Those should keep B2B occupied for a while.
That's probably a list of his "little things, that count"!Those should keep B2B occupied for a while.
, if this gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my in the mashed potatoes.
Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
Thanks for the laugh.
What does salt on the mouse pad do?
Worst prank I ever pulled was installing Linux on an empty par ion and setting it as the default operating system to boot on the computer of one of my company's artists. She was ing pissed when she booted and only got a bash s . Our tech-support guy was dying laughing when he saw it.
I told her she probably installed a bad Windows update patch that killed her computer (this actually happened to two systems in my office a couple of weeks earlier).
Handsdown asshole of the year award winner.
Is there anything I could do for a ice chewer?
headphones.
Yes.
Well, possibily...
Go to Firehouse Subs. Purchase their Mad Dog 357 hot sauce.
Take an ice cube tray and proceed to fill a couple trays, about 1/10 full with hot sauce. Enough to cover the bottom.
Then fill the rest with water.
Freeze it. Crush it. Then place the tainted ice in her cup when she isn't looking.
Or you could simply put a dab of the hot sauce in her drink when she isn't looking.
this would be funny if I understood it.Worst prank I ever pulled was installing Linux on an empty par ion and setting it as the default operating system to boot on the computer of one of my company's artists. She was ing pissed when she booted and only got a bash s . Our tech-support guy was dying laughing when he saw it.
I told her she probably installed a bad Windows update patch that killed her computer (this actually happened to two systems in my office a couple of weeks earlier).
You know before I would be like, "B2B, you're a , don't you have any pride in your work?"
Since I got passed over for a promotion because "It looks like you're off task all day long and not working." I'm like it.......I'm doing this too.
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