Hilarious article from the London Times

[Spurs košarka kultura]

Survey names cars that drive owners to vitriol
by: Martin Wainwright

British car owners have blown an enormous raspberry at nine of the country's most familiar makes, awarding them wooden spoons with the sort of eloquence which only comes from bitter experience.

The annual Which? Guide to cars lambasts a mixture of poor mechanics and spine-jarring discomfort in the worst brands.

The survey again suggests that the Japanese cars offer the best value, taking all three top places in the supermini catagory. They also do well in the medium and large sections, with only the luxury class- won this year by the Jaguar S-type and Mercedes E-class still eluding them.

Fervour about the best cars in each catagory is restrained in comparison with the let-rip at ude to the "nine no-no" options which are variously damned as "stupendously unreliable," dissappointment on wheels" and "resolutely uncharismatic."

The Ford Galaxy is described as "happier in the garage than on the open road" while the Renault Laguna's flaws according to readers, suggest the company "restricted building it to Friday afternoons" .

The pre-June 2002 Vauxhall Vectra gives "a slightly depressing driving experience" , while the Fiat Brava and Bravo proved "almost comically unpopular with people who've bought one-poor blighters" .

They can commiserate with drivers of the pre-January 2003 Daewoo Nubria:"a noisy, beast of a car, as unpleasent to look at as it is to drive" . Also in the club is the Citroen C5: " Hard to know what's worse-the horrible drive or annoying tendency for various bits to stop working."

Only those with few possessions will warm to the VW Polo, as described by the survey which says: "It's remarkably easy to break into, Leave nothing of any value in a Polo."

The Mitsubishi Carisma, meanwhile, paid the penalty for it's name; it's resolutely uncharismatic one .

Good value cars attract less stimulating prose, although the otherwise lauded Toyota Yaris Verso, the most popular car in the survey with 91% approval from owners, is ticked off for having a " far from stylish Postman Pat shape."

Jon Dunning, the editor of Which? Car, which profiles 150 new and used vehicles, said: "We've chosen our best buys but we've pointed out that everyone should avoid certain models."

Man those brits sure love their cars