Bad Jokes

[The Reckoning]

bad jokes are the best.

my astronomy professor likes to tell horrawful bar jokes, so i figured i'd share a couple.
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A neutron, after having a really crappy day at work, walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender, noticing the neutron's anxiety, serves the neutron a local favorite.

After finishing its beer, the neutron exclaims "Wow! That beer really hit the spot. Now I can go home and relax. How much will it be?"

The bartender smiles, happy that he could help make better the neutron's day, and says "For you, no charge."


------------------------------ zing!



A physicist walks into the bar and asks the bartender "What's new?"

The bartender responds "c over Lambda."


------------------------------ zing!

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Along those lines:

Two atoms are walking along when one trips and falls. As his friend goes to help him up the fallen atom says, "Wait, I think I lost an electron."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

[thispego]

why don't you make like an atom, and get outta here!

[stretch]

its leave you neutron! leave!!!

[thispego]

[balli]

Atoms have mass? I didn't even know they were catholic.

[thispego]

Nulecule According to Homer, the mother of all atomic particles.

Moe is a contestant on the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire clone show Me Wantee and as his lifeline, calls Homer for help on which of "electron", "neutron", "proton" or "bonbon", is not an atomic particle. Homer begins a diatribe, "Well, it all starts when a nulecule comes out of its nest..." then Lisa grabs the phone and tells Moe that the correct answer is "bonbon". Moe follows Lisa's advice and wins $500,000. Moe then passes on the million dollar question and the Millionaire babes burn other half of the million dollars in a wheelbarrow.

The true essence of a nulecule and how it gets pregnant (and who or what gets it pregnant) and gives birth to atomic particles has not yet been explained.

[balli]