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=(
Sorry to hear you have to go through that.
I haven't been through it myself, but damn man, that's rough.
If I lived in the area, I'd buy you some booze and we'd knock back a few.
So since like Monday apparently one of my best friend's has been missing. His mom came by my house looking for him and a couple other people he normally hangs out with called me looking for him...eventually they had missing person posters up with his face on it. I hadn't seen him in awhile, a couple months I guess, and I hadn't talked to him in about that long.
Then I'm at work today when I get a text message saying they found his body in an abandoned house in the Devil's Den with a shotgun and he Cobain'd himself. Pretty ed up man. Me and this dude were best friends in high school. I hadn't seen him much lately because I'm always working or at school plus my girlfriend lives with me etc...but damn, I feel really bad. I wish I had seen him more. I'm kinda in disbelief I guess, I dunno, doesn't feel like it's settled in.
Has anyone ever gone through this?
=(
Sorry to hear you have to go through that.
I haven't been through it myself, but damn man, that's rough.
If I lived in the area, I'd buy you some booze and we'd knock back a few.
Sorry to hear that. I've always wondered how bad it has to be to take your own life you know?
what was the cause of it? depression?
How predictable.
I haven't been through that situation. I have tried to kill myself, however. I felt like I wasn't very good at living, that I hadn't done anything with my life, and evaluating where I was going, I was going to be a drain on society. I was disappointed. I was just supposed to be better than that. I carry a six-inch scar on my right underarm that I put there 2 1/2 years ago.
It was severe depression and they usually go hand-in-hand.
Have you ever quit a job after your boss has been a prick? Where it's a hassle just to get out of bed and the paycheck isn't worth it? That's how it felt. It felt like there was no end to this feeling that I would go nowhere and do nothing. "It only gets worse from here." So I wished that it would end. I looked around and counted my blessings, to come out of it, and said "If that goes away...I don't know what I would do." And one day that was taken from me. I had no idea how to deal with it and I thought it was just a continuation of the same problem, the fundamental flaw in me, I wasn't very good at living.
Life is like that job you want to quit. It's just a hassle to continue it. Of course, I wasn't very good at killing myself. I was suicidal for a little over a year and never got as far as I did when I tried the first time. So I don't know what it takes, how deep you have to go emotionally, to be successful at it. I had my knees on a ledge, about 150 feet off the ground in a parking structure with my arm open and I couldn't jump. So, you know, my insight only goes so far.
Wow. Where'd did you seek help from?
I was stiched up at a hospital, and they had a county-run mental-health evaluator across the street. I was taken over there, and spent a week in a mental hospital where they put me on meds, gave me a diagnosis, and set me up with one of the county's core-mental-health providers. It was, and remains, government help.
Damn, glad to hear you didn't do it, Darrin.
Me, too. Thanks.
I see. Well I'm glad you you're still here, postin at Spurstalk. And I'm hoping you had people around you to help you out as well.
You're only 50% responsible for maintaining any relationship. The other 50% lies with the other party. Many times, people who are suicidal will slowly withdraw from those around them. If you're busy with school/work/relationship, it would be easy to miss.
My condolences man. Death of a friend or loved one is never a good thing no matter what the cir stances of the death was.
Best thoughts, wishes, and Prayers to his family, and yours.
^^^
That's true. My niece passed away in Jan, so you just have to find a way to move on. Things can spiral down fast, but if you try to stay positive each day gets easier...
my prayers are with you and your friend's family sir.
darrin, you're one of the more better posters here. it would be a shame if someone like you weren't here.
Sucks man. One of my cousins bf/husband whatever, hung himself a few years back. It was very strange to me. They were going through relationship problems and he hung himself.
He wasn't a best friend but we were really good friends. I liked him alot even though we mostly saw each other at family functions he was a good guy.
I found it to just be a confusing time. Death for me is always confusing.
I have corrected my thinking. However, at the time, I was aware of my mistakes--my choices. Needless to say, I had done things that I was not proud of. Now, I realize, no matter what I've done there is always the promise of tomorrow, at least until a time I won't be here to complain about it. I didn't commit a crime. While I am still disconnected from people that I love and wish were here, I have to live with it. There's nothing I can't handle--I've been through a lot and draw strength from it--and life isn't about getting everything you want exactly when you want it. Stay vigiliant. Move towards the goal and hopefully, you'll get there. But I'm not a motivational speaker or a pastor. You may not get there. Prep for that possibility. Don't let it destroy you.
The trick is to not take anyone for granted. Don't let your gender stand in the way of expressing an emotion. Don't let skin-color make you think you are fundamentally different and therefore, you'll never understand the culture. Don't let a religion stand in the way of connecting with another human being. And the biggie--don't step on people or consider them irrlevant while you work towards your goal. That, with the exception of a very small percentage (killers and rapists come to mind), there's no one who deserves your guard. No one can become an idea, and when they do, the work needs to be done within you to not deal with the label, but the person standing in front of you. We're all the same. We all make poor choices and have things we do unknowingly, and rough edges and flaws we'd wish away. We all got to eat, wash our clothes, and all of us fear death.
That's what I've learned.
I want to Leetonidas to understand that there isn't a person here who isn't standing with you right now. Here's my wish for you--one moment of pure joy today. It doesn't have to be long, but one moment where you stop thinking about the way your friend died, and remember what made him your friend.
Leetonidas...its not your fault...its not your fault...
My condolences.
Thanks guys. I'm new to this, it still doesn't feel real yet. I found out some more info. He apparently was planning this for awhile because he went and bought the shotgun himself from a store. His mom found the empty box and receipt in his room and I guess that's when they started searching for him. I still can't believe it, I don't understand why he wouldn't open his mouth or try to talk to me or , anyone. I guess Duff said it best...it's confusing.
That's a damn good piece of advice. I'm assuming you're fairly young and you're about to hear a lot of blame and crying and whatnot. Keep your head up because as shocked and sad as you are right now, it will be a of a lot worse at a funeral or a burial.
I feel bad for you but for your sake, there's been some distance lately. It'll help.
Sorry to hear about that Lee, but as others have said, it's not your fault.
He probably didn't talk about it because he was suffering from depression and felt worthless. Go deep enough down the hole and there is no light, no hope. I have suffered from depression (an episode, not chronic, thankfully), and supported others through it, and it's all-consuming. You feel like you are worthless, life is worthless, and you just want it all to end. The last thing that would occur to you is that other people might be able to help you - in fact, you end up going the other way and cutting yourself off from others because you don't want to be a burden. However, that is screwed up thinking and exactly what you should be doing is surrounding yourself with those you love and who love you.
What you are personally describing in your own emotions is a mixture of shock and denial, and it's a normal part of grieving. I'm not trying to reduce your experience to a formula, but it is likely that you'll experience shock/denial, anger, bargaining, self-pity (in some order), and finally acceptance of what has happened. It is natural for the human psyche to go through each of those phases. It might be helpful if you read a bit about the grieving process. All I'd suggest is allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel, don't bottle it up. I've had a friend die and another diagnosed with terminal cancer in the last two months, and if I didn't let it out sometimes I'd be a wreck by now.
All the best.
This rang true to me. It's sad that so many people suffer with this disease. It's like losing your glasses and having to use your broken eyes to find them. You don't have the skills to see your way out of it or you'd never get that far down the in the hole.
Damn, that sucks, I know how it feels. But yeah, as the others said, its not your fault and you cant do anything. My condolences and take care.
marie osmand's kid jumped out a building yesterday. that's alot of suicides going on.
r.i.p. departed.
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