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Interesting read.
But this will turn into a flame war real quick.
Interesting article...
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/10/18...iref=allsearch
Throughout my years of working with the dying and the bereaved, I have noticed commonly shared experiences that remain beyond our ability to explain and fully understand. The first are visions.
As the dying see less of this world, some people appear to begin looking into the world to come. It's not unusual for the dying to have visions, often of someone who has already passed on. Your loved one may tell you that his deceased father visited him last night, or your loved one might speak to his mom as if she were there in the room at that time.
It was almost 15 years ago that I was sitting at the bedside of my teacher, Elisabeth Kόbler Ross', when she turned to me and asked, "What do you think about the deceased visiting those on their deathbeds to greet them?"
I replied quickly, showing my knowledge back to her: "You're speaking of deathbed visions, most likely caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain or a side effect of morphine."
She looked at me and sighed, "It will come with maturity."
Oprah.com: 4 healthy ways to grieve
I thought to myself: "Maturity? What did maturity have to do with anything?" Now, years later, I look at the events we still can't explain that happen at the end of life and realize what Elisabeth was saying.
It would be arrogant to think we can explain everything, especially when it comes to dying. My mother died when I was still a preteen. My father remained an incredible optimist his whole life, even when he was dying. I was busy trying to make sure he was comfortable and pain-free, and at first didn't notice he had become very sad.
He told me how much he was going to miss me once he was gone. And then he mentioned how much he was saying goodbye to: his loved ones, his favorite foods, the sky, the outdoors and a million other things of this world. He was overcome by sadness I could not (and would not) take away from him.
My father was very down-hearted for the next few days. But then one morning he told me my mother, his wife, had come to him the night before.
"David, she was here for me," he said with an excitement I had not seen in him in years. "I was looking at all I was losing, and I'd forgotten that I was going to be with her again. I'm going to see her soon." He looked at me as he realized I would still remain here. Then he added, "We'll be there waiting for you."
Over the next two days, his demeanor changed dramatically. He had gone from a hopeless dying man with only death in front of him to a hopeful man who was going to be reunited with the love of his life. My father lived with hope and also died with it.
Oprah.com: Why birth is not a beginning and death is not an end
When I started compiling examples to include in my book, "Visions, Trips and Crowded Rooms: Who and What You See Before You Die," I was surprised by how similar they were. In fact, it was hard to pick which ones to use because they were all so much alike.
Now I realize the very thing that makes them repe ious is also what makes them unique. As someone who has spent most of my life writing, teaching and working with the dying, I can't prove to you that my father's vision was real. I can only talk about my experience as a son and about countless other occurrences that take place every day.
I used to believe the only thing we needed to alleviate was the suffering of the dying by providing good pain management and symptom control. I know now that we have more -- we have the "who" and "what" we see before we die, which is perhaps the greatest comfort to the dying.
Some interesting and unexplainable items about deathbed visions:
Visions people experience at the end of life are remarkably similar.
The dying are most often visited by their mothers. It shouldn't be too surprising that the person who is actually present as we cross the threshold of life and take our first breaths once again appears at the threshold as we take our last breaths.
Hands passionately reaching upward to some unseen force is witnessed in many deathbed encounters.
Visions mostly occur toward a corner of the room.
Those family members at a deathbed are not able to see the vision or participate in the conversation.
Visions usually occur hours to weeks before death.
Visions don't seem to appear in other frightening situations where death is not likely, such as stuck in an elevator, lost in a foreign city or lost hiking.
Unlike traditional healthcare, the law treats a dying person's last words as the truth.
Oprah.com: Using technology to get through tough times
If you find the concept of a dead loved one greeting you on your deathbed impossible or ridiculous, consider what I finally realized as a parent: You protect your children from household dangers. You hold their hands when they cross the street on their first day of school. You take care of them when they have the flu, and you see them through as many milestones as you can.
Now fast-forward 70 years after you, yourself, have passed away. What if there really is an afterlife and you receive a message that your son or daughter will be dying soon? If you were allowed to go to your child, wouldn't you?
While death may look like a loss to the living, the last hours of a dying person may very well be filled with fullness rather than emptiness. Sometimes all we can do is embrace the unknown and unexplainable and make our loved ones feel good about their experiences.
Possible Responses and Tips
There's really no point in telling your dying father you think he's hallucinating or that his mom has been dead for several years and can't possibly be there.
Instead of disagreeing, try asking him, "What is your mom saying?"
Say, "Tell me more about your vision." Perhaps Aunt Betty is telling your father that it's okay to die or maybe they're reminiscing about growing up together.
Say, "It's great that Aunt Betty is here with you," or "I knew that Mother would come to meet you," or "I'm so glad that Mom is with you now."
Denying their reality will only separate you from your loved one. So join and explore this profound time of life.
The saying goes, "We come into this world alone, and we leave alone." We've been brought up to believe that dying is a lonely, solitary event. But what if everything we know isn't true? What if the long road that you thought you'll eventually have to walk alone has unseen companions?
I would welcome those of you who have had an experience of your dying loved ones being comforted by those already deceased to share these stories here with others. In sharing our stories, we will see that the journey at the end of life is not a lonely path into eternity.
Rather, it may be an incredible reunion with those we have loved and lost. It reminds us that God exists and birth is his miracle that carries us into life. A deathbed vision is his miracle that carries us though the transition of death into the next part of our eternity.
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THIS IS NOT A SCIENCE VS RELIGION THREAD!!!
I think its certainly possible that we shed our flesh and blood bodies to reach a higher form at the point of "death", but that doesnt mean I believe some magical being is the one responsible.
Interesting read.
But this will turn into a flame war real quick.
Cool article.
That would be awesome if I could see these visions of dead relatives and friends when I die. It sure would make my passing less painful. But man, living on this earth is a uva experience.
Life. Even if there is a life after death, will we ever have fleshly life ever again? I dunno, no point in really asking these questions because they won't be answered as I'm alive.
If there is life after death, GREAT, but if not, you wouldn't know it.
Interesting read.
This week I lost a friend who was very young (late 40's) to pancreatic cancer.
It hit me pretty hard as I had lost touch with him and did not even know he was sick-he refused to tell people about it.
I just wanted to share a couple of lines here from the great poet Kahlil Gibran which kinda eased my mind this past week...
he said about death;
for what is it do die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
and what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek god unen bered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
and only when you have reached the mountaintop shall you begin to climb.
...and when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
i have a friend who works in the hospital who knows someone that works in the mortuary where the keep the dead bodies and carry out any further investigations...he says he hears stories of them seeing/hearing weird happening in those rooms...
they told me stories about ppl on surgery tables and when ur nearly dieing do you see something above ceiling light...the only way you can see something above/behind the ceiling light is ur spirit/ghost has left ur body and floating above while looking down on the body/operation table. I even ask my dad this when he had 3 lung surgeries a couple of years ago, and he said he did see something behind the ceiling light...
My dad passed in 1998 from an industrial accident (he was 39). Some years later one of his closest friends from high school got real sick and in the hospital he started to say that my dad came and was waiting for him. He slipped away not too long after that. I thought that was real weird.
My mom's uncle passed labor day last year (stomache cancer) and right before he passed he lifted his arms and asked his mother to take him because he was so tired.
Many are dying to know.
i often see such visions whenever im somnolent since when i was 4yrs old, now im 9yrs old and still alive, isn't it kinda weird?
My mother was an ER and ICU nurse for 20 years, then worked in home health and ho e for another 10. I've worked in a ho e. I've heard so many stories about this. Makes this poem very moving for me:
Parable of Immortality ( A ship leaves . . . )
by Henry Van - 1852 - 1933
I am standing by the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch
until at last she hangs like a peck of white cloud
just where the sun and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says, 'There she goes!
Gone where? Gone from my sight - that is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the places of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
'There she goes! ' ,
there are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout :
'Here she comes!'
I see dead people
Isn't it this guy's job?
do blind people on their death bed get visions?
What is that in tha bottom right? A bunny?Isn't it this guy's job?
Yikes, what a daunting task, to provide end-of-life care to Elisabeth Kubler Ross.
Interesting read and topic, it's naturally a subject (death) I think about a lot.
However, pretty damn unprofessional article:
"It reminds us that God exists and birth is his miracle that carries us into life. A deathbed vision is his miracle that carries us though the transition of death into the next part of our eternity."
Disclaimer: I am in no way attempting to start a religion thread. Simply stating that only n00bs would publish something like this.
I didn't see .
Well even though the source cited here is cnn.com it's a feature story, not news. I gather that Kessler is one of Oprah's self-help gurus and it looks like that is the origin of this article. I can't find anywhere what his qualifications are except for "author,expert and lecturer". Made for TV stuff I suppose?
I agree. It was an interesting read until that bit.
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