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slob the knob mother er... i have more threads dedicated to me than the spurs do upstairs. too funny!
And I have some more exciting news. Inspired by the outstanding success of "Lakaluva's Guide to Getting Fat Chicks," Koriwhat has decided to undertake a similar literary ambition and write a book himself! His book is not a guide, however, but an autobiography. He hopes that his exciting life filled with calf tats, Boddington's, boxing at the gym, meeting Roger Mason, longhair, working as a secretary, and hanging out with guys who wear beanies will be a captivating read. As he said to me, "I wanna give the people with "ordinary' lives an insight into the es and Blunts lifestyle."
Here's an excerpt from the draft he sent me (which is now being edited and hopefully will be on the shelves within two months).
...it was a natural decision, really. I've liked the Spurs since I was a little kid, so getting their logo tatted on my calves seemed a logical thing to do.
The tattoo artist was named Jerry. He was a big dude with a beard who smelled like menthols. He led me to a chair where I took a seat. I was wearing shorts, but had to roll down my tube socks to give him access to the blank artistic canvass that are my calves. After I was ready, I lied down face first on the reclining chair, like something you would find in a dentist's office, and held my breath. These were my first tattoos, so I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I've heard the procedure hurts. Although I'm no stranger to pain from all the beatings my dad gave me, I wasn't sure what to expect.
Jerry fired up the needle. A buzzing filled my ears. Jerry's hand embraced my calf and he applied the needle.
But I didn't feel pain. On the contrary.
The buzzing, the voices in the shop, the music, the pain, every conceivable external stimulus was drowned out. However, one sensation did remain: Jerry's light touch on my calf.
It was a unique moment in my life. This was the first time another human being touched me in a way that wasn't with the intention of beating my ass. And it felt good. Real good.
But, I ain't no . Okay? Yes, I was getting an erection from Jerry touching my calves, but it wasn't on purpose. Only a fresa Mav fan would get turned on by something like that. Still, the fact that I was getting a boner from being touched by a biker gave me pause. Lying there in a chair, I had to ask myself: Am I ?
And the answer I gave myself was no! I ain't no . But on the other hand, I had to accept these physical reactions I was having to another man touching my legs and promptly deal with them--kill them before they have a chance to take a hold of my psyche and turn me into what I hate the most: A .
So I paid Jerry, duck walked out of the tattoo shop, and went home.
I stood in front of the mirror, gave myself the hardest look I could muster, and yelled, " !"
Over and over I screamed this at myself, until every trace of fresa was scared out of my body and mind. I was successful. I felt like a man again. Whole and nothing like a Mavfan, who are all s!. Afterward, I took a few moments to enjoy the Spurs tattoos that Jerry so elegantly etched into my calves.
Last edited by TheLakaluvaLibrary; 02-15-2011 at 12:39 AM.
slob the knob mother er... i have more threads dedicated to me than the spurs do upstairs. too funny!
you read all that, seriously? i just replied.
Great stuff, as usual..
Some of this needs to be published..
glad you could sign out of your alter-ego just to reply to your own thread as another troll.
It's pretty ing someone actually typed out that extremely gay scenario. However, the content of the post was quite hilarious.
good ol' bearded jerry... somewhat entertaining even when skimmed over. good job fresa!
i was doing drugs in middle school. little kid, get to bed, school starts early for you!
ill make this thread worthy of our time
I like the rate at which this troll posts
gay
lol
More exclamation points are needed.
!!! just doing my part
Mama there goes that man
I rarely know what any of you guys are talking about but that is some funny stuff…
That is just Satan making you famous dude.
i sold my soul. it's all good though.
haha i've actually been called that before... wtf
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