Reply With Quote
Can't say I've ever done it, although the Checkers down the street does it all the time with their Big Buford.
Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?
About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.
I didn't notice much difference in flavor when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.
Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbor's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbor's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to incorporate it into my cooking again in secret.
My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavor for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.
I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.
Can't say I've ever done it, although the Checkers down the street does it all the time with their Big Buford.
Seriously, stealing copypasta from other forums is lame. At least make your own copypasta.
Seriously, it's totally lame.
Who hasn't swallowed a load? But cook with it? thats sick
What is this, I don't even.
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of compe ion that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 07840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one
lol
There is a video of a chick eating a omelet.
I think it was watching that video in the Quattro that eventually led me to the fish ing video.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
