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  1. #1
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    41,430
    btw this is a non-partisan post...Don't ever say that I didn't help keep money in your pockets. As a fan this is the best way you can help play your part in getting back at the owners.

    No need for thanks just execute...

    "When a game is not a marquee event, there are usually good empty seats available, and with the proper guile and execution they can be yours."
    1. Scout in the First Half

    In the first half, spend as much time scouting out potential seats as watching the game. Without being too greedy—you will never be able to sneak into the first five rows—recognize pockets of seats that are in Rows 6-15 between the baskets. Pay careful attention to exactly what section they are in, as well as the exact rows and seats. The best way to identify these is to scout them on the opposite side of the arena so you can be sure of the section number. Also, make sure to note landmarks—human and otherwise—to help you triangulate the position to know you are snatching the right seats when the time is right. Every detail is important. Seats in the middle of rows are more optimal than those on the aisles, as you want to be as incon uous as possible in the eyes of the ushers. Ideally, you will have several targets for the second half in case the first attempt at grabbing good empty seats fails.
    2. The Move

    With about three minutes left in the 2nd quarter, it is time to make the move down to better seats. Here, it must be noted that while bribing the ushers sounds like a good idea and could work in the movies, most of these ushers are persistently loyal employees whom do not want to risk losing their jobs for the money we cheapskates offer them (there is a reason we did not buy them in the first place). However, there are two good methods I have found for getting into prime viewing location...
    3. The Slither

    As the first half comes to a close, everybody will be leaving their seats to stretch their legs, enjoy some refreshments, and go to the bathroom. For your purposes, these activities should already be done and you should be waiting outside the section you identified in scouting. During this anxious period, it is imperative not to make eye contact with the ushers. When the torrent of fans comes up the aisle and out of the section, it is time to make your move. Do your best Ray Allen impression and break free around the pick. If you are graceful, you can get around the crowd without the usher laying eyes on you, make your way down the aisle, and slide into "your" seats with no one the wiser. In the event that you get caught, do not argue. Hustle over to position number two, and try it again before the rush of fans out of the section completely subsides.
    4. The Yack-Yack and Passback

    This method, which is easier to execute than the Slither under the right cir stances, is a variation on the tried and true strategy we all used to use in bars before we were of proper age. Here, you need to procure at least one legitimate ticket for the section in question to present to the usher. Go down to the scouted empty seats and make conversation with the people around you. After a few minutes, they will almost always be willing to help your buddies get a good view of the game, since they know that the seats you will be occupying for the second half would have just gone to waste. Take their tickets, meet your buddies in the corridor, bypass the usher, and return the tickets to their rightful owners.

    This strategy works best when genuinely rooting for the home team, and impeccably at Phish shows. If done correctly, the passback can even be used to get you and a buddy in with just one ticket. Here's how: present the genuine ticket to the usher and make your way down either to the seat it belongs to, or the one you scouted. As soon as you get down there, make an abrupt movement up, and say something to the usher that will ensure he remembers you, such as, "Oh God, I left my keys on the table" or even "I have to quickly run to the bathroom." Give your buddy your ticket—now the bouncer recognizes you, and it will not be needed on your way back down.


    The Slither and the Passback are not successful 100% of the time, but there is nothing to lose in trying. The absolute worst case scenario is that you end up watching the game in the same seats you sat in during the first half--the ones you paid for. It is important to remember that when attempting these bold moves, you should never be rude to the ushers. They are just doing their jobs; people pay a lot of money to sit in the good seats, and if everybody could just sneak down all the time nobody would be dumb enough to buy them. However, if you are the right combination of lucky and persistent, you can certainly find your way into seats that you do not deserve.
    http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to-sn...-game-0127184/

  2. #2
    In Flames we trust eisfeld's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    1,142
    So what you're saying is that you're poor and can't buy prime seats without such techniques?

    Keep up the good work!

  3. #3
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    41,430
    So what you're saying is that you're poor and can't buy prime seats without such techniques?

    Keep up the good work!
    compared to Kobe yes I am...compared to 99 % of you ST posters I am daddy....

    but listen...I wasn't always this bad until I started associating with some Asians...seriously I have some Asian friends that literally make money in their sleep and they're some of the most notorious hook-up artists I've ever known. In fact they initially looked at me and was surprised I didn't steal more as a black man ( from a white collar perspective)...I know we race bomb each other all the time...it helps us get through life... but now why pay when you don't have to...I ain't paying 4 if I can help it...but I do pay on dates...I'm a gentleman like that...

  4. #4
    Veteran
    My Team
    Dallas Mavericks
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    6,020
    So you have enough money for junior?

  5. #5
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    41,430
    So you have enough money for junior?
    I give Deepy money everyday...he was just huffing and puffing cuz I wasn't going to give him $500 to spend on some gotdam Timmy D's...

  6. #6
    Esse quam videri ploto's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    10,994
    After halftime, nobody has ever cared at the AT&T as far as I have seen.

  7. #7
    O & 44!!! Now, go back &
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    35,170
    I give Deepy money everyday...he was just huffing and puffing cuz I wasn't going to give him $500 to spend on some gotdam Timmy D's

  8. #8
    ambchang is my bitch Daddy_Of_All_Trolls's Avatar
    My Team
    Minnesota T'Wolves
    Post Count
    976
    Years ago, we had some prime seats at a Twins game and got bored, we had just gone the night before. So, we used our tickets to go to one of the upper levels, security has no problem with that. We found a family of four who looked poor, but were happy to be there and gave them our tickets. We had a blast up in the nosebleeds and kept checkng that family in our old seats with binoculars. They were in heaven.

    Also, good article, those are nice methods.

  9. #9
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    154,491
    Next: Kool's Guide to Welshing.

  10. #10
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    41,430
    Next: Kool's Guide to Welshing.

    and the first chapter will be en led: Not a Gotdam Penny Kool! Nary a red Dime!

  11. #11
    O & 44!!! Now, go back &
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    35,170
    ^The little nephew ain't gettin' that money. Ever.

    How dare him have Kori for an aunt.

  12. #12
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    41,430
    ^The little nephew ain't gettin' that money. Ever.

    How dare him have Kori for an aunt.
    "Keep regulating GNSF Kool" - ~Kori Ellis~

  13. #13
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    41,430
    ^The little nephew ain't gettin' that money. Ever.

    How dare him have Kori for an aunt.

    and for the record he got paid alright...paid deeply...

  14. #14
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    41,430
    He wanted to waste my money on some gotdam Spurs gear you beleive that ...on some gotdam Timmy D sneaks... that shrimp...I won't pay twice...

  15. #15
    All magic pass1st's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    8,437
    Or, you know, you can just buy the tickets.

  16. #16
    O & 44!!! Now, go back &
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    35,170
    Or, you know, you can just buy the tickets.

  17. #17
    All magic pass1st's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    8,437
    What's wrong, Curly?

  18. #18
    O & 44!!! Now, go back &
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    35,170
    What's wrong, Curly?
    Bend over. I'll show ya what's in' wrong.

  19. #19
    Veteran InRareForm's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    8,644
    Pre Blake Era Clippers, it was almost too easy to sneak down and get great seats on all th games. Now with Blake around, it is much harder.

  20. #20
    All magic pass1st's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    8,437
    Bend over. I'll show ya what's in' wrong.
    And what would bending over achieve? Did you drop something?

  21. #21
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    41,430
    Pre Blake Era Clippers, it was almost too easy to sneak down and get great seats on all th games. Now with Blake around, it is much harder.
    ...

    don't worry homie he won't be there long

  22. #22
    O & 44!!! Now, go back &
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    35,170
    And what would bending over achieve? Did you drop something?

  23. #23
    All magic pass1st's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    8,437

  24. #24
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    154,491
    He wanted to waste my money on some gotdam Spurs gear you beleive that ...on some gotdam Timmy D sneaks... that shrimp...I won't pay twice...
    You didn't pay once.

  25. #25
    Believe.
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    1,858
    ...

    don't worry homie he won't be there long
    The welcher speaks from experience...

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