I don't know about you guys but nothing fills my basketball-sized nuts with gallons of semen like not leaving a single cent for a tip. In fact, I usually just rip the receipt in half then throw it in the toilet and tell the waitress to piece it back together after I give her a Cleveland Steamer in the stall.
I never come into the bar with less than 5 sumo wrestlers. I love it when there's a line because guess what......I don't ing wait in lines. Not only do I rip the list up while beating up everyone on it, we just pick out the nearest booth and sit on whoever's there. Now when it comes to ordering drinks, I just think of a random number between 1 and 1000 and order that many beers. If they don't bring it out in less than 2 minutes, I just go back there and beat up the whole kitchen. After downing a few brewski's and cracking a few skulls in the arcade room, it's time to eat. Usually I just order whatever, and when the waiter brings it out, I just knock the trays out of his hand and tell him to lick it all up. When he bends down, I grab him by the balls and throw him head first out of the balcony. When all is said and done, and we finally finish our food after 5 hours, it's time for our check. Well, if you sticks read the first paragraph you know what happens next. Right before we leave, we just gangbang the hostess for fun and leave her a nice little pearl necklace (the only jewelry I'll ever buy for a woman).
crofl
Probably the funniest one
You gotta get a TV contract
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