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So I hear dumb ass stories EVERY SINGE DAY over here.
Today's story:
"My boyfriends cousin got shot multiple times down in Laredo. We are going there this weekend to be with his family. They are looking into it to see if it was a homicide.
They might have something though. My BF's nephew said that he had a dream where (whatever dead guy's name was) came to him and said 'Mijo, tell everyone it was the cucuy in the black spurs (Spurs related) cap.' So now the cops are investigating it.
What if they find the guy and he is wearing a Spurs cap?!"
There are PLENTY more stories like this.
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Whenever I hear anyone start a comment with,"Mija/Mijo", I immediately stop listening because I know stupidity is likely to follow.
I work with a guy who thinks the movie “Little Shop of Horrors” is based on a true story…
Another one, this is from a coworker who came back from a Dr.'s visit.
"Aye, I just got back from the doctor and he diagnosed me with fatigue. He already told me I have prediabetes and now this. I went because I can't hear out of my left ear. He told me it was in flames."
This is being said with tears in her eyes. ACTUAL FREAKIN TEARS
It's funny, this very morning I ran across this on the Internet:
"Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and you make bad decisions."
Was just watching tv and an ad came on for Southwest School. They misspelled the word pursue. "Persue", really?
I have a coworker who is LATE every single day. Seriously.
I'm always late to work, like every single day, and there is this old lady that can't mind her own business and looks at her watch the moment I walk in the door.
I can't stand her.
Our last coworker informed us that...
The fire alarm went off at [such and such account] and she didn't know what to do so she just sat down and prayed until it turned off.
sounds like typical , key words such as "mija/mijo," "spurs" and "laredo" tipped me off tbh
and anything involving s is bound to be stupid
LOL I love that. I would change sometimes to Usually though.
This same idiot with the ears that are "in flames" puts on her headphones and listens to her music so loud that I cam hear the music clearly. I don't even sit by her.
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to break the news to you...but you're ears are in flames." Like right now, Dr? "Yes, right now." Right now, right now?
Can I get a p/t job with you I. Hustle? I kinda wanna write a book on stupid people on the weekends.
"Let me get this right. So you're getting a burning sensation when you urinate?"
"No, fire shoot out my , is all. A burst of flame fly out my
when I pee. I can't even pee in the house, I burn my house down. I gotta go outside."
"I was outside peeing, dude tried to mug me, I turned around and burned him up on the street. Because my is a blowtorch, is what I'm trying to say."
Used to work with one of those. To top it off he sang to the music very high pitched and very poorly.
This girl at work told everyone she had cancer in her intestine and I didn't think twice about it as it's a touchy subject but then she was all piss one day and I told her maybe you should go home and she said she was ok just piss because no one believed her. So I was like wow that's harsh, Well she goes on to say she saw her Dr and he told her something is blocking her from ting and to take some stool softeners and to her that means cancer because something grew and got hard in her so its a form of cancer.
Same girl this week in the break room was telling everyone that no words ends with the letter "y" only medical terms can end with Y so everyone starts yelling out words that end with Y and she goes on to say the the new generation change it to Y and the old generation had it correct and everything should be IE as in kitty>Kittie/Funny>funnie/City>citie, I guess she then felt the whole room wanting to laugh so she left.
You could write a series of books
I've been ed out by a co-worker and boss for asking a co-worker what time were they leaving. I asked a co-worker that works in my department what time they were leaving and the co-worker refused to answer me.
How you think you got here guey? Everybody crossed some kind of water to get here at one point in the history. Except for Tyson Shandler, that dude is straight up Native Americano and chit.
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