http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/...wards-are-out/
The Darwins Are Out!!!!
2013
Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here Is The Glorious Winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James ****** did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The frustrated gunman walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family…. unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*****Remember*****
They walk among us, they can reproduce.
What a4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
Are you kidding? That's legendary
the list...most of them are americans....
It is funny in a very sick waybut still the most ed up thing on the list tbh
Think of all those poor bas s who were injected with Haldol or Thorazine and placed in straight-jackets for 3 days.It is funny in a very sick way
That's what makes it hilarious. Are you for or against what happened? I don't understand.
For...that kind of "thinking on your feet" is impressive
Yeah, I was impressed with that too. Not sure if it should be a nominee on this particular list.
Where'd you get these stuff?
From his great grandfather.Where'd you get these stuff?
Here I thought you had to die to get a Darwin award. Now all you need to do is be stupid.
I thought it was awards for deaths or something that rendered a person unable to procreate, then honorable mentions for those who almost had that happen. Maybe this guy just hijacked the term for his blog.
11. An online poster who supported Evolution died from su ious cir stances and was standing in line at the pearly gates when St Peter asked what was that logo on his jersey? The man replied its the Portland Trailblazers basketball team. St Peter said how can that be they play horrible are you just saying that to get me to feel sorry for you and allow you into heaven? The man replied "no not at all" in fact I have been a Portland trailblazer fans for years and said he had proof and showed him his Spurstalk profile showing his team under his name. St Peter saw some of his postings and said are you TlongII ? The man said "yes!.. yes!.. its me TLongII" where which St Peter replied to bad I read you were also a huge fan of Darwin and seem to post more about him than your favorite basketball team and sent the poor Evolutionist to .
Don't be so upset you can still shoot for 2014
I liked the onion ring one best.
Same, but shooting someone isn't Darwin award worthy, nor is holding up a store. That's just being stupid.
Me too because I could relate. No ing onion rings? this.I liked the onion ring one best.
Should have ordered a double burger with cheese like my Kane.
Thought Darwin awards were only given to those who made tremendous contributions to the development of biology, or those who made contributions against christianity and human dignity...
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
