This might have been posted before

[batman2883]

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

[SWC Bonfire]

Pretty funny, but I would have to disagree with this one:

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

If you want to go somewhere really nice, you better look nice, because I won't be the one looking like a slob. You would think that this wouldn't be a problem, but it has come up from time to time. If I'm the stylish one we're screwed.

[ALVAREZ6]

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

Amen to all of those!!!

[SpursWoman]

Just an FYI ... myself and most woman I know think that "Rules" thing is a crock of .

[SWC Bonfire]

Just an FYI ... myself and most woman I know think that "Rules" thing is a crock of .

Well, some of them aren't. I don't mind women weeding out chumps, but acting rude and inconsiderate to people (other than in a playful/joking manner) is out of the question.

[SpursWoman]

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Then either learn how to clean a toilet bowl rim or quit pissing all over it...I don't care if the lid is up, I don't care to look at the -shrapnel and dried urine when I walk into the bathroom.

[SpursWoman]

Well, some of them aren't. I don't mind women weeding out chumps, but acting rude and inconsiderate to people (other than in a playful/joking manner) is out of the question.

Those are the one's I was referring mostly to. I believe those women are divorced now, too. Ironic, huh?

[batman2883]

Then either learn how to clean a toilet bowl rim or quit pissing all over it...I don't care if the lid is up, I don't care to look at the -shrapnel and dried urine when I walk into the bathroom.

I dont know about your man but i have excellent aim

[SpursWoman]

I dont know about your man but i have excellent aim

I have no complaints....I was just keeping it "general".

[batman2883]

actually no i dont its too much to handle sometimes, its like a babys arm gripping an apple