This is the speech I have to give infront of about 600 students and faculty. The speech date is September 29, but I finished this a bit early so I could have as much time as possible to work out the kinks. So if anyone could take maybe 2-3 minutes to read this, and offer ANY kind of advise (good or bad), it would be greatly appreciated. I am already nervous as .
Hopefully you like it. It is worth the read.
Senior Speech
“There’s no thrill in sailing when the skies are clear and blue, there’s no joy in doing things which any one can do. But there is some satisfaction that is mighty sweet to take, when you reach a destination that you never thought you’d make.” -anonymous
I was a daredevil when I was young. My parents hated taking me skiing, because I would simply point downhill and conduct physics experiments to decipher my terminal velocity. There was very little that fazed me, mainly because I was young, stupid, and had no reason to act otherwise.
Then, when I was nine years old, I fell victim to both a lack of coordination, and roller blades. I remember lying on ground, my left wrist in the shape of an S, and screaming at the top of my lungs. A hospital bed, morphine, a bit of anesthetic, a bone re-setting I don’t remember, and two days later I emerged with a fiberglass cast and a newfound sense of fear of everything the natural world has to offer. Enter Chuck.
Chuck is the anti-me. I am almost positive my mom married him simply to provide an ironic contrast to everything that I do. He is an absolute perfectionist, and, if he cannot make a problem work the way he wants, he applies copious amounts of physical strength to the situation until it is resolved- a practice affectionately referred to as “powering his way through.” I enjoy looking at the bigger picture. Will a clean room really make my life easier? What’s the point in doing my homework now when it is due next Thursday? There’s no need to change that light bulb; I can still see. Meanwhile, my runner’s build all but removes physical strength as a viable solution to any problem.
But Chuck doesn’t just view life from a different set of eyes (helped by the fact that said eyes are about half a foot lower than mine), Chuck also views it slower. Sailing, specifically, is much slower than my preferred, gasoline-involved methods of hydro transportation.
When he and my mom started dating, I was introduced to Chuck’s sailboat, a Soling. Soling is the Ferrari of sailboats- specifically designed to boost the ego of its captain and scare the scare the lifejackets off any passenger daring enough to squeeze into the pit for the ride. Also, it was red, which makes it exponentially faster. I was introduced to sailing by force, with no real option of standing on the shore.
I never quite understood the attraction to sailing. The faster you go, the more the boat keels, or leans, to one side. Once you lean too far, the boat capsizes and you become a clip on World’s Wildest Rescues. Someone explain to me which part of this is fun.
Needless to say, I was happy when the Soling was sold for the Una Mas, a 42-foot RV with sails. The Una Mas was a tank of a ship, treating hurricane-force winds like a summer breeze and dolphins like speed bumps. It also had a cabin, which meant I could eat and sleep and harass my brother while we cruised around Corpus Christi Bay.
After spending the night on the water, we pulled up anchor and prepared for the hour-long trek back to the marina. The normal course of action is to check the weather report. You know, in case there is something like strong winds or Hurricane Floyd threatening to extend your voyage. My older brother, Justin, was given the task, and then summarily ignored after no news was relayed. The assumption was that we were good to go. So we did.
I remember the moment vividly: I was at the helm, thinking I was cool and macho because my 5-foot-nothing frame was steering a boat the size of a trailer house, while my step dad was wandering around the pit pulling on ropes and looking for things to fix. We were about halfway across the bay, enjoying the sunshine and warm weather, when the temperature decided to plummet approximately 20 degrees in 15 seconds. In a matter of moments, the clear sky had gone black, the thermometer was having seizures, and my pants were wet. Someone didn’t check the weather report.
If the Una Mas was Apollo 13, and the jet stream was Kevin Bacon, then our oxygen tanks had just been stirred. As the events slowly began to register, my step dad did something I thought he would never do- he asked for help. “Sheri, Justin….can y’all come up here? ... I… I think we have a problem.” What happened next can only be described as a flurry of parental worry, foul weather gear, choice words, high winds and rain. Luke and I were tossed under the table where the lifejackets were stored, with my mom, older brother, and Chuck scrambling around the deck in an effort to lower the sails and find our location on the map.
The reason for concern was quite simple. In order to get into the marina, one has to navigate through a narrow channel, cut between two jetties. If you go too far to either side of the channel, you risk not only running aground, but having your boat torn to bits by crashing waves against the jagged rocks. Also, we could not see more than maybe five feet in any direction, which posed a logistical nightmare on a boat heavy enough that it required a substantial effort just to change course.
There I was, huddled by the life vests, absolutely positive my life was about to end. While I pondered what my last words would be, Chuck had managed to grab the radio and call one of the boats in the marina to ask for assistance in docking. Unbeknownst to us at the time, Corpus Christi was also in desperate need of news, so the reporters were checking the radio channels, hoping someone was stupid enough to be caught in the storm. They found us.
The story that ran on the front page the next day made us sound significantly braver and more experienced than we really were. Yes, we had been anchored out all night, but no, we did not drop anchor and try to weather out the storm, before ultimately deciding it would make a better story if we made a daring dash to safety. The fact of the matter is, we had no clue the apocalypse was coming- we didn’t even check the weather report.
I would like to say I conquered my fear of sailing on that trip, heroically overcoming the odds and defeating my demons with a nautical pitchfork, but I didn’t-- I was cowered beneath a table with a death grip on my flotation device. However, I did learn that there are some things you just can’t worry about. I spent the better part of my sailing career afraid the boat would capsize, or that I would fall off the deck and instantaneously forget all the swimming lessons I was forced into as a child.
You won’t be good at everything the first time. Sometimes, you might be put into a situation that is unfamiliar, or makes you uncomfortable. But you just have to dig down, hold on tight, and get through it. I didn’t enjoy sailing the first time, and to a certain extent I still don’t, but that day taught me a valuable lesson. I learned that, even in the worst of cir stances, I wouldn’t fall off the boat, and I wouldn’t drown. I learned not to worry.
Sometimes, it’s ok to be the one hiding under a table, with a death grip on your flotation device. And sometimes it’s ok to be scared. But as long you can look back on the experience with a smile on your face, then you did defeat your demons. Maybe not with a nautical pitchfork, but at least you can say you put up a fight.
That's awesome. It was funny, engaging and inspiring. Good luck.
BTW..the only thing I noticed was in the paragraph where you wereintroduced to Chuck's sailboat. There was a sentence about the lifejackets and the word "scare" was used twice. It was kind of a typo thing.
specifically designed to boost the ego of its captain and scare the scare the lifejackets off any passenger daring enough to squeeze into the pit for the ride.
This is very very good. One thing I might suggest (and anyone can jump in if they disagree) is that you shorten some of your sentences. It reads well, but for oral presentations, long sentences may get your audience lost or confused.
Either that, or just read them slowly and emphasize key pauses and words.
Good job, and good luck!
Good catch 2Blonde!Thanks
Yeah, some of those sentences do read long, and when I've recited it orally it makes for some awkward pauses to take another breath. I need to shorten them, or turn them into two setences, but it's hard to do so without compromising the humor in the language. I'm still working out the kinks on that.....
Thanks for the feedback, guys.
If anyone catches more mistakes, or has anything, anything at all to add, please do. This is SO valuable to me, I cannot begin to thank you guys enough.
This is actually frequently attributed to someone called "Spirella", but I can't for the life of me find out who that is. I gave up after my 10th corset fetish site (Spirella is a famous manufacturer of corsets, it would seem).
Did I miss who Luke was? I would read it again, but I'm still a little fried from the corsets.Luke and I were tossed under the table ...
I can tell what you're saying here, but it rolls off a bit awkward. Maybe "torn to bits by waves [crashing you] against the jagged rocks"?If you go too far to either side of the channel, you risk not only running aground, but having your boat torn to bits by crashing waves against the jagged rocks.
Very nicely done - the "nautical pitchfork" hook is clever and the humor is well toned. Should go over well as long as your practice your delivery - which you've indicated you're doing... Good luck!!
To long and to corny.
you sound like a tree hugger,
sorry , but I tell it like I see it.
It's a good story. One thing I would advise is to cut out some of the bigger words. It works well on a written report, but since this is oral, you're just going to give yourself more places to stumble. Replace those words with the simpler ones, and make it more conversational.
Good speech, though.
Dude as long as your speech looks? You may want to start reading it now so they will be able to leave before the next class graduates.
my next advise would be , you might want to tell folks to pack a lunch so when your mid way done reading , they can take a 30 minute break
I have helped you on the breaks in Bold
5 minute break
Chuck is the anti-me. I am almost positive my mom married him simply to provide an ironic contrast to everything that I do. He is an absolute perfectionist, and, if he cannot make a problem work the way he wants, he applies copious amounts of physical strength to the situation until it is resolved- a practice affectionately referred to as “powering his way through.” I enjoy looking at the bigger picture. Will a clean room really make my life easier? What’s the point in doing my homework now when it is due next Thursday? There’s no need to change that light bulb; I can still see. Meanwhile, my runner’s build all but removes physical strength as a viable solution to any problem.
But Chuck doesn’t just view life from a different set of eyes (helped by the fact that said eyes are about half a foot lower than mine), Chuck also views it slower. Sailing, specifically, is much slower than my preferred, gasoline-involved methods of hydro transportation.
When he and my mom started dating, I was introduced to Chuck’s sailboat, a Soling. Soling is the Ferrari of sailboats- specifically designed to boost the ego of its captain and scare the scare the lifejackets off any passenger daring enough to squeeze into the pit for the ride. Also, it was red, which makes it exponentially faster. I was introduced to sailing by force, with no real option of standing on the shore.
I never quite understood the attraction to sailing. The faster you go, the more the boat keels, or leans, to one side. Once you lean too far, the boat capsizes and you become a clip on World’s Wildest Rescues. Someone explain to me which part of this is fun.
Needless to say, I was happy when the Soling was sold for the Una Mas, a 42-foot RV with sails. The Una Mas was a tank of a ship, treating hurricane-force winds like a summer breeze and dolphins like speed bumps. It also had a cabin, which meant I could eat and sleep and harass my brother while we cruised around Corpus Christi Bay.
After spending the night on the water, we pulled up anchor and prepared for the hour-long trek back to the marina. The normal course of action is to check the weather report. You know, in case there is something like strong winds or Hurricane Floyd threatening to extend your voyage. My older brother, Justin, was given the task, and then summarily ignored after no news was relayed. The assumption was that we were good to go. So we did.
30 minute lunch break
I remember the moment vividly: I was at the helm, thinking I was cool and macho because my 5-foot-nothing frame was steering a boat the size of a trailer house, while my step dad was wandering around the pit pulling on ropes and looking for things to fix. We were about halfway across the bay, enjoying the sunshine and warm weather, when the temperature decided to plummet approximately 20 degrees in 15 seconds. In a matter of moments, the clear sky had gone black, the thermometer was having seizures, and my pants were wet. Someone didn’t check the weather report.
If the Una Mas was Apollo 13, and the jet stream was Kevin Bacon, then our oxygen tanks had just been stirred. As the events slowly began to register, my step dad did something I thought he would never do- he asked for help. “Sheri, Justin….can y’all come up here? ... I… I think we have a problem.” What happened next can only be described as a flurry of parental worry, foul weather gear, choice words, high winds and rain. Luke and I were tossed under the table where the lifejackets were stored, with my mom, older brother, and Chuck scrambling around the deck in an effort to lower the sails and find our location on the map.
The reason for concern was quite simple. In order to get into the marina, one has to navigate through a narrow channel, cut between two jetties. If you go too far to either side of the channel, you risk not only running aground, but having your boat torn to bits by crashing waves against the jagged rocks. Also, we could not see more than maybe five feet in any direction, which posed a logistical nightmare on a boat heavy enough that it required a substantial effort just to change course.
5 minute break for folks to un roll thier sleeping bags,
15 minute break for streching and waterThere I was, huddled by the life vests, absolutely positive my life was about to end. While I pondered what my last words would be, Chuck had managed to grab the radio and call one of the boats in the marina to ask for assistance in docking. Unbeknownst to us at the time, Corpus Christi was also in desperate need of news, so the reporters were checking the radio channels, hoping someone was stupid enough to be caught in the storm. They found us.
The story that ran on the front page the next day made us sound significantly braver and more experienced than we really were. Yes, we had been anchored out all night, but no, we did not drop anchor and try to weather out the storm, before ultimately deciding it would make a better story if we made a daring dash to safety. The fact of the matter is, we had no clue the apocalypse was coming- we didn’t even check the weather report.
5 minute break to check on anyone who might be asleepI would like to say I conquered my fear of sailing on that trip, heroically overcoming the odds and defeating my demons with a nautical pitchfork, but I didn’t-- I was cowered beneath a table with a death grip on my flotation device. However, I did learn that there are some things you just can’t worry about. I spent the better part of my sailing career afraid the boat would capsize, or that I would fall off the deck and instantaneously forget all the swimming lessons I was forced into as a child.
You won’t be good at everything the first time. Sometimes, you might be put into a situation that is unfamiliar, or makes you uncomfortable. But you just have to dig down, hold on tight, and get through it. I didn’t enjoy sailing the first time, and to a certain extent I still don’t, but that day taught me a valuable lesson. I learned that, even in the worst of cir stances, I wouldn’t fall off the boat, and I wouldn’t drown. I learned not to worry.
Sometimes, it’s ok to be the one hiding under a table, with a death grip on your flotation device. And sometimes it’s ok to be scared. But as long you can look back on the experience with a smile on your face, then you did defeat your demons. Maybe not with a nautical pitchfork, but at least you can say you put up a fight.
if anyone is still out there listening you might want to make sure they are still alive,
Well, the speech is supposed to be 5 minutes min, 7 minutes max. Every time I've read it aloud, it has been around 5:40-5:50.
The length is right where I want it. If anything maybe a little too short.
edit: and "Luke" is my younger brother, who attends the school as well (i.e. don't need to explain that with a school of 500 kids). I forgot to edit this for the forums, though.
Oops.
I really liked it! Great job!
OK, I have to throw in a nit-pick...in your first paragraph, I would recommend changing "decipher" to something like "determine". "Decipher" doesn't really fit...big-sounding word, close-but-wrong definition.
Bro I had no idea you could say all that within 5 minutes. As an Ex comic that looks like at least 20 minutes of material. it took me over 30 minutes to read it all myself
anyway I was just jacking with you, You will do fine, Just picture everyone naked when you get up there, it might help you get over the nurves/butterflies.
if your really serious about making changes you need to do two things, you need to say your speech in front of real people at leat 3 times and maybe record yourself and play the tape back. I had no idea when I was on stage I kept saying Anyway after every joke until one day I recorded one of my bits. I can only wish Walter and David Chancelore would do the same, I get tired of hearing Ummm .....Ummmmm.... after every word.
That may be the reason I stop tunning in,
either way Good luck and if I was you? I would start off with a quick joke, to losen the audiance, start off by saying, "If you see the person next to you fall a sleep during my speech ? please don't wake them up. the less people who suffer the better"
Make sure this speech is real and can be proven.
This speech needs more cowbell.
Well fortunately, I give this on the 29th, and until then will be working with our school's advanced speech teacher (who's class I am also taking) on how I present this. And it doesn't surprise me that Mouse was a stand-up.
Good catch with "decipher." Thanks!
Young pale face you make tonto proud, now go and speak to pale face students with fork tounge
That speech is the Shizzle
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