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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
Brain Cramps
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed do ents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !)
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca
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"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP (he's smart)
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your cir stances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
ha ha ha ha mariah carey is a dumb girl very very dumb
If you break that one down it could make sence....."Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
But the others are funny... Mariahs is just messed up
i f you think thats funny your a hater and a discriminator
okay i'm sorry sir.
im kidding
i know brownie
god,
what you can play with me and i can't??
okay i'm sorry what do you want me to do?
do push-ups, run 5 laps what?
I Am Kidding
you are funny i like that
Nahh..but you could make SENSE out of it...
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earings."
"I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, and wear Reebok." -Shaq
I hope he's kidding, but know he isn't.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, There's gotta be a bush quote in there somewhere.
"I was going to say he's a piece of work, but that might not translate too well. Is that all right, if I call you a 'piece of work'?" —George W. Bush to Jean-Claude Juncker, prime minister of Luxembourg, Washington, D.C., June 20, 2005
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
I was just about to say that. He is trying to tell us that 45% of the game is mental.
I does remind me of:
"60% of the time, It works EVERY time"
-anchorman
Im pretty sure that was meant as a joke, like when Wayne and Garth were espousing the crassness of shameless advertising plugs while showing off nikes, pizza hut, nuprin, etc. in "waynes world".
Bunch of crap. Even she isn't that stupid. Snopes - Mariah"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
This is supposed to be a Quayle quote but was actually written by humor writers."It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !)
Another quote that was supposed to be said by Quayle but was actually written by humor writers, not said by Clinton."If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President
The unforeseen event quote is an actual Dan Quayle quote. Below are some others he's come up with. You'll see these attributed to other politicians during political campaigns as a way to take shots at the other candidates intelligence but they are all Quayle."We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP (he's smart)
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit . . . Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
"The future will be better tomorrow."
"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
This following group, however, are Quayleisms, that is, comments now widely attributed to the former Vice-President that were coined by humor writers as things he might say.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Snopes - Quayle
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