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  1. #1
    License to Lillard tlongII's Avatar
    Location
    Portland
    Post Count
    28,727
    NBA Team
    Portland Trail Blazers
    College
    Oregon State Beavers
    A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and
    sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.

    The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it! He approaches
    the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

    "Well, ... you pay ten dollars ... and IF you pass three tests...you get
    all the money!!!"
    The man certainly isn't going to pass this up! What are the three
    tests?"

    "Pay FIRST..." says the bartender... "Those are the
    rules."

    So the man give him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

    'OK," the bartender says, "here's what you need to do...

    FIRST: You have to drink that ENTIRE GALLON of
    pepper tequila...the WHOLE thing, all at ONCE ... and
    you CAN'T make a face while doing it...

    SECOND: There's a pit bull chained-up out back with
    a
    sore tooth...You have to REMOVE the tooth with your BARE HANDS...

    THIRD: There's a 90 year-old woman upstairs who has
    NEVER reached orgasm during intercourse... You've
    gotta MAKE THINGS RIGHT for her."
    The man is stunned... "I KNOW I paid my 10 bucks ... but I'm not an
    IDIOT! I WON'T DO IT!!! You have to be NUTS to drink a gallon of pepper
    tequila, and then do those OTHER THINGS!!!"

    "Your call," says the bartender, "but your MONEY stays where it is..."
    The man has a few drinks ... then a few more... Finally...he asks,
    "WHERRRRE'S ZAAAAT
    TEQUIIIIIILA?!?!?!"

    He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big
    slurp...Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a
    face...

    Next ... he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained
    up...The people inside the bar hear a HUGE, NOISY SCUFFLE going on
    outside...They hear the pit bull barking ... the guy screaming...the pit
    bull yelping ... and then .... SILENCE ...

    Just when they think the man SURELY must be dead, he staggers back into
    the bar ... with his shirt ripped ... and large, bloody scratches all
    over his body...

    "NOW........" he says..."WHERE'S THE OLD WOMAN
    WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!?!?

  2. #2
    See you when it burns SWC Bonfire's Avatar
    Post Count
    3,966
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs

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