Mouse showed up late last night, drunk.

[Jimcs50]

My wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. I get up and go to the door where a drunken Mouse is standing in the pouring down rain asking for a push.

"Not a chance" I say - "It's three o'clock in the freaking morning!" I slam the door in Mouse's face and return to bed.

"Who was it?" asked my wife.

"Just Mouse drunk out of his mind, asking for a push".

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"NO, I didn't-it's three in the morning and it's pouring out!"

My wife layed a guilt trip on me. "Well, you've got a short memory" she says. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down in San Antonio and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him."

Cursing under my breath, I do as she asked and get dressed and go out into the pounding rain and call out into the dark: "Hey Mouse, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes the answer.

"Do you still want a push?" I call out.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" I ask.

"Over here, on the swing" Mouse replies.

[Taco]

My wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. I get up and go to the door where a drunken Mouse is standing in the pouring down rain asking for a push.

"Not a chance" I say - "It's three o'clock in the freaking morning!" I slam the door in Mouse's face and return to bed.

"Who was it?" asked my wife.

"Just Mouse drunk out of his mind, asking for a push".

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"NO, I didn't-it's three in the morning and it's pouring out!"

My wife layed a guilt trip on me. "Well, you've got a short memory" she says. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down in San Antonio and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him."

Cursing under my breath, I do as she asked and get dressed and go out into the pounding rain and call out into the dark: "Hey Mouse, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes the answer.

"Do you still want a push?" I call out.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" I ask.

"Over here, on the swing" Mouse replies.

at least he didn't ask for a Push over the Fence

[batman2883]

ha ha ha ha ha ha

[Jimcs50]

SW and S y were waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.

"How'd you die?" S y asks SW.

"I froze to death," said SW.

"That's awful," said S y. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first," SW answered "You get the shakes and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," said S y. "You see, I KNEW my husband was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone, watching TV. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

SW shakes her head. "That's so ironic," she says.

"What do you mean?" asks S y.

"If you had ONLY stopped to LOOK in the FREEZER in the basement, we'd BOTH STILL BE ALIVE!"

[ObiwanGinobili]

SW and S y were waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.

"How'd you die?" S y asks SW.

"I froze to death," said SW.

"That's awful," said S y. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first," SW answered "You get the shakes and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," said S y. "You see, I KNEW my husband was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone, watching TV. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

SW shakes her head. "That's so ironic," she says.

"What do you mean?" asks S y.

"If you had ONLY stopped to LOOK in the FREEZER in the basement, we'd BOTH STILL BE ALIVE!"

[TheTruth]

Those were both very funny.

[Jimcs50]

Those were both very funny.

To you! Now I can not get rid of him.

[Taco]

My wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. I get up and go to the door where a drunken Mouse is standing in the pouring down rain asking for a push.

"Not a chance" I say - "It's three o'clock in the freaking morning!" I slam the door in Mouse's face and return to bed.

"Who was it?" asked my wife.

"Just Mouse drunk out of his mind, asking for a push".

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"NO, I didn't-it's three in the morning and it's pouring out!"

My wife layed a guilt trip on me. "Well, you've got a short memory" she says. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down in San Antonio and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him."

Cursing under my breath, I do as she asked and get dressed and go out into the pounding rain and call out into the dark: "Hey Mouse, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes the answer.

"Do you still want a push?" I call out.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" I ask.

"Over here, on the swing" Mouse replies.

I don't know why but i was thinking about this tread and started laughing.

I had to bump it

[NZHayden]

[ShoogarBear]

I missed this one first time around.