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Well, it's very easy to decode men's language.
You want food, sex and respect.
But most of you are too lazy to earn any of it.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish................................49.
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No s.
Average looking....................Moooo.
Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist................................Fat .
Free spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first......................Reformed .
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional..........................Hard-faced .
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you ignorant arsehole
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice s!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
Well, it's very easy to decode men's language.
You want food, sex and respect.
But most of you are too lazy to earn any of it.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish................................49.
(Your shopping for older women cuz you think their desperate enough to sleep with your pathetic asses.)
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
(Yes, everyone BUT YOU.)
Athletic...............................No s.
(Thanks, pig.)
Average looking....................Moooo.
(We're the cows? But your the pigs, and Women Today know we don't have to buy the whole pig for just a little sausage)
Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
(Yeah? So?)
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
(Yeah? So?)
Feminist................................Fat .
(Yeah? So?)
Free spirit............................Junkie.
(Like, Whuteverrr.)
Friendship first......................Reformed .
( s are made by pigs. Remember that.)
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
(huh?)
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
(But not desperate enough to sleep with you.)
Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing.
(Sometimes.)
Professional..........................Hard-faced .
(Call me a . I like it. It means I intimidate you.)
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
(You know you drool over the lady lumps.)
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
(Fat women are made by pigs.)
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.
(I know you are but what am I?)
1st off...
just had to fix a few.DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish................................49.
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone. EVERYONE, male or female.
Athletic...............................No s.
Average looking....................Moooo. hideous birthmark
Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication. or in therapy
Feminist................................Fat . with leg and pit hair
Free spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first......................Reformed . aka sex addict
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing. laughs like flipper the dolphin
Professional..........................Hard-faced .
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker. needy
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry lets have sex and then eat
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy lets have sex and then sleep
3. I am tired = I am tired but not too tired for sex
4. Nice dress = Nice s!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
Great Posts!
I'm guessing you're the feministGeez, get a life! Its HUMOR!
E X A C T L YI'm guessing you're the feminist
The list turns around and skewers men at the end. Get a sense of humor.
and if we've learned anything from television and movies its that everything is ok as long as both sides are made fun of.
^strange avatar
That was funny and very much so true.
These two made me laugh out loud:
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No s.
These are great
dayum, Justagirl,
got issues?
Funny stuff!
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