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That last story belongs in Batman's "Oh, !" thread...
In case you haven't received them yet, here are the
2005 Darwin Awards -- the annual honor given to the
person who improved the "gene pool" the most by
killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid
way. As always, compe ion this year has been keen.
And the candidates this year are.............
IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned
in two feet of water after squeezing head first
through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his
car keys.
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who
"totally zoned when he ran,"accidentally jogged off
a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an
8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as
he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21,
dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and
had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom
Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him
beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the
outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to
claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge,
VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers
using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him
while about 200 people looked on. Jones was
pronounced dead at a hospital.
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as
he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle
shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the
long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep
his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as
he hit the floor.
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in
Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who
said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
HONORABLE MENTION:
* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured,
when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their
car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit
the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to
see what would happen, but apparently failed to
notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP:
TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with
several friends when one of them said they knew a
person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the
middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men
trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the
midpoint of the bridge they discovered that noone had brought a bungee
rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out
that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was
secured around Bingham's leg and other end was tied to the bridge. His
fall lasted 40 feet
before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at
the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the
icy river water and was rescued by two nearby
fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God
was watching out for me on that night. There's just
no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was
never located.
AND THE WINNER: Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich
Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated
elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more
than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the
plugged-up pachyderm ; finally let it fly, and
suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil
enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him.
"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected
defecation knocked Mr.Riesfeldt to the ground, where
he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as
the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top
of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective
Erik Dern. ' With no one there to help him, he lay
under all that dung for at least an hour before a
watchman came along, and during that time he
suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak
accidents that proves that " happens!"
I don't have a source as this was emailed to me, sorry.
Stupidity is funny!
That's just terrible. Ya'll shouldn't laugh, what if it was someone you loved? These people died, you know. I'm sure their mama's were really upset.
So's death!!!
...but death by stupidity!?!?!?! My favorite!!!
^I just rolled over in my grave.
These aren't the actual Darwin Awards. In fact the "winner" is liste on their site as an urban legend. Don't know why someone would fake it in an email -- the real stories are right there.
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