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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog:
"No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor RooseveltHey Eleanor, some people prefer it that way...
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
-Lillian Carter
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog:
"No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had
ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister,
and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and
a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.-
George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books.You may die of a misprint.
-Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.-
Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now
and then she stops to breathe. -
Jimmy Durante
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness
and kindness, can be trained to do most things. -
Jilly Cooper
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. -
Alex Levine
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -
Mark Twain
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,
people would stop dying. -
Ed Furgol
Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you
a more pleasant form of misery. -
e Milligan
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. -
Henny Youngman
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up.-
Joe Namath
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. -
Herbert Henry Asquith
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -
WC. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had
to work its way through Congress. -
Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation...
as you grow older, it will avoid you. -
Winston Churchill
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out. -
Unknown
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
he's too old to go anywhere. -
Billy Crystal
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog:
"No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Tell me when to go" - e-40
u are a ing turd... seriously e-40 is a fat piece of skill-less and your his fanboy.... which makes u a turd.
Well damn, I wouldn't go that far..........
"Yadadigamahjig" -Norcal510
Eh ... we just watched that movie again last night, so that was fresh in my brain.
Eh ... we just watched that movie again last night, so that was fresh in my brain.
Should I expect some promiscuous comments from you tommorow then after you read some Jackie Collins tonight?
I think that you are both a couple of attention s. Nothing screams for attention more than starting a new thread for every single joke that you come across. I just looked and you have started like 150 threads out of less than 700 posts, that is ri-goddamn-diculous. in' attention s, didn't mommy and daddy pay enough attention to you growing up?
"I am not an animal!"
- The Elephant Man
"I hate every bone in your body except for mine"
- CC Deville
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