FREEZER, SW Texas (AP) -- Spurstalk announced today that veteran poster, Ed Helicopter Jones, known to millions as the "Chopper" was placed on the forum's inactive list after only being re-activated in October of 2006. While only able to maintain a PPD average of 3.1 during his attempted comeback, the Chopper suggested numerous reasons for his return to inactive status:
"Work is a bear right now. With all the deadlines I'm facing I can't believe I'm concerning myself every four hours with whether or not Fletch deserves to be called a 'Guy's Movie'! Everyone knows I love S y, but just because she's back I can't stick around if I'm not on my game. Besides, I know Jim will be glad to look after her, even if his manhood, like his biceps, are one-half the size of mine. She'll just have to survive until The Man returns....somehow."
"Mavs fans are driving me nuts. Our fans are driving me nuts. Kids riding their bikes across my lawn are driving me nuts. Everyone's driving me nuts except the guy who's supposed to be driving me nuts...I ordered those damn mail order pecans two weeks ago!! Where the are they?!!"
Asked about what he plans to do while on the inactive list Chopper stated that he plans to "roll with his hotties, sipping Crystale." When pressed further on the matter, the Chopper admitted that he'd probably just "sit around the house and fondle myself."
Does this second trip to the DL in less than four months indicate that the Chopper intends to retire from Spurstalk? " no! I've still got a lot of posting in me, I know I do. Right now I've just got some other things that are a little more of a priority. As a result my focus just isn't there so my touch is a little off. I can't do anything unless I can devote the time to it to be the best. Second place just means you're the top loser! But you can bet I'll be back....come March!"
Mr. Jones then began babbling in some incoherent tongue. The only words that could be interpreted sounded like "Spam" and then "you stupid muthaf#$%^%s!" Following this sudden tirade he proceeded to rip off his clothes and slam the door to Spurswoman's freezer, leaving all of us on the outside to wonder. . .why.
I would think he would know better than to get involved with Spurswoman.
See you in March, Your Holiness.
Pussy.
Quitter!
Oh, this is just great....do I get tears when I am gone?
I do not think so....S y, we are through, I can read the writing on the wall....you do not need to spell it out for me.....I have too much pride to accept un requited love.
you're never gone, jimbo!
Besides...you replaced me with 1P1, remember???
I have been on vacation a few times...and I do not recall coming back and reading any teary eyed posts from you.
1P1 was never a replacement for you, I only flirted with her, I never fell head over heals for her, like I did with you.
I think he's really just too embarrassed to admit that Kori's sending him to the Developmental League, not the Disabled List.
The STDL ... would that be mavtalk.com?
STDL just sounds wrong...
Just remember to wear a condom.
You could be right. I just noticed this domain was taken.
http://www.SendChopperToAustin.com
@ Chopper
Few dare swim in his wake, much less match his wit.
...and don't forget the words of Richard Gere in "An Officer and a Gentleman":
you've "got no place else to goooo!!!"
Swimming in a tsunami is usually not recommended.
DL=Disabled List or Defensive Lineman...one of the two.
No wonder I had had such a crappy day today.
Damn, even Alonzo Mourning outlasted you.
I
1P1 was never a replacement for you, I only flirted with her, I never fell head over heals for her, like I did with you.
F.U. and your half-sized manhood.
See you in March, Chopper. We'll be missing you and your humorous takes
Just in time ... I just got my son's science fair project out of the freezer. So there's plenty of room now.
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