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lol
A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time".
The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your is bigger than your brother's".
lol
Knock knock
Whos there
who
this thread.
brokeback deer camp!!
The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next
morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I sat up and watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed.
"Good morning," he said.
They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night."
A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, "What in the world happened to you, buddy?".
The guy says, "Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit ."
"Yeah?" asks the bartender. "What did she do?"
"She hit me with her bag of quarters!"
What did the five fingers say to the face?
Slap!!!
Three guys walked into a bar . . . they were THAT drunk.
I was once engaged to a girl with a wooden leg. It kept getting in the way during sex so I had to break it off.
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to the supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks: "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget...."
Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower - Cooter, Pete, and K.C.
As they started their decent, Cooter slipped, falling off the tower, and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says,"Well d@mn, someone should go and tell his wife."
K.C. says, "O.K., I'm perty good at that sesitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Pete says, "Where did you get that beer, K.C.?"
"Cooter's wife gave it to me.", K.C. replies.
"That's unbelievable! You told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?!"
"Well, not exactly," K.C. says, "When she answered the door, I said to her 'you must be Cooter's widow.' She said, 'You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow'...then I said 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.'"
Why didn't the cookie go to school?
He felt crummy.
what do 50 battered women have in common?
they all don't know when to shut the f' up
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?
Hey...let's go ride bikes!
That's so bad it's good.
they are all good
especially the wife one at the top.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c...
Moo!
One day Little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a
bondage S+M magazine.
This was highly upsetting to her.
She hid the magazine until his father got home. When Little Johnny's father
walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said,
"This is what I found in your son's closet."
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
Several minutes passed, then she finally asked him,
"Well what should we do about this?"
Little Johnny's dad looked at her and said,
"Well I don't think you should spank him."
more more!!
You sound like Little Johnny.
more more!!
Who?
JESUS ING CHRIST!
One day Little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room . . .
Two hookers were standing on a street corner ready for a night of business.
"It's gonna be a good night tonight, I can tell" says one of the girls.
"How can you tell?" says the other.
"I can smell in the air" replies the first hooker.
"Sorry", her friend replied, "I just burped!"
that made me lawl
Last edited by Shelly; 04-13-2007 at 05:21 PM.
how do you keep a gay baby happy?
STICK THE PACIFIER UP HIS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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