Here's mine:
NFC East:
Andy Reid's drug-addled sons
Wade Phillip's man ties
Eli Manning's terrible secret
Fred Smoot's double-dong
NFC North:
Rex Grossman's sex swing
Brett Favre's prescription pain pills
Brad Childress' molester mustache
Matt Millen's IQ of 48
NFC South:
Drew Brees's disfiguring birthmark
Rae Carruth's girlfriend
Jeff Garcia's terrible secret
Joey Harrington's amazing luck
NFC West:
Mike Holmgrem's FUPA
Mike Nolan's snazzy sideline suits
Georgia Frontiere's Cougar Credentials
Matt Leinart's herpes
Wild Cards:
Wade Phillip's Man ties
Rae Carruth's girlfriend
AFC East:
Tom Brady's illegitimate son
Eric Mangini's FUPA
JP Losman's emobangs
Ricky William's Sticky Icky
AFC North:
Ray Lewis' limo
Ben Roethlisburger's motorcycle
Chris Henry's vomit
Brady Quinn's terrible secret
AFC South:
Kenny Chesney's Longtime Companion
LenDale White's Snickers addiction
Jack Del Rio's treestump axe
Dunta Robinson's home invasion
AFC West:
Shawne Merriman's backne
Tom Nalen's chopblocks
Priest Holmes's neck injury
Lane Kiffin's fake id
Wild Cards:
Ben Roethlisburger's motorcycle
Eric Mangini's FUPA
Super Bowl:
Tom Brady's llegitimate Son over Drew Brees' disfiguring birthmark