My whole life changed in a heartbeat today...

[2Blonde]

What was she messing with? You still have me wondering. Don't have to answer it tho.

I think you can figure it out from all of my posts.

[2Blonde]

FYI to those one or two who are telling me to everything short of putting her on a chain-gang...
I asked what you would do if it was your child or someone you cared about. I did not ask for you to tell me what I need to do? I was simply curious how others might handle this situation.

Teenagers are very fond of saying "So and So's Mom lets him/her do it, why can't I?" I was just a little curious if I'm in line with what most parents would do in this situation.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

She was changing the radio station, huh? That is pretty unfortunate, but hard to call it negligence, and since the cops thought it was an accident, fair enough.

Still think advanced driver training is a good idea because it would teach her things like how to control a car if you stray onto the verge (hold your line and ease back very slowly in the direction you want to go, or take it all the way off the road and slowly ease to a stop).

Incidentally, the judgemental people who are lecturing 2Blonde should just back off - your hard-line tut-tutting is just absurd. Everything she's ever posted about her parenting shows that she's a great parent.

[2Blonde]

You may want to think about putting her through an advanced driver training course.

We made an agreement with her years ago that she had to meet certain conditions in order for us to buy her a car. She had to save $1,000 for repairs/deductibles, maintain her grades, show responsible behavior, take driver's ed and a defensive driving course. We also put a GPS Tracker in her car that tells us where she is at all times and how fast she was going..( She wasn't speeding and in fact, rarely does). But after this accident, we will have a alot of work to do on her showing us how responsible she can be. She's been told not to mess with radio stations while driving, or to reach for things, etc... She broke one our safety rules. She signed a contract when she got the car that spelled out everything. She knew the deal & the consequences.

That's a good idea except that we already did it! I told her on the way home tonight that she will be doing a refresher course as soon as she is healed though.

[2Blonde]

Not answering your question there. I hope your duaghter will recovery very quickly. I almost made that call with the FD but I had to stay back at the FD. I hope "my boys" took very good care of your daughter and of course the other 2 person in the other vehicle...Let me know if you need anything.

I didn't know you worked for the Bulverde/Spring Branch Volunteer FD? I assumed you were City of SA. A Lt. Tim Zelenek (sp?) was there from the Bulverde FD & an EMT named Terri (?) and Mr. Ortega transported her in the ambulance.
They were all so wonderful and took good care of her.

[2Blonde]

One more thing... I would like nothing more than to hold her and say it'll be alright Baby and think this will scare her into being a more responsible driver, BUT it won't!
She's a teenager and she needs to know there are consequences and really, really, really get it through her beautiful head that she almost caused the deaths of 4 people today. Only by the Grace and Mercy of God did they all three walk away from this.

I'm glad I got to meet her at the hospital since I heard how badly her car was torn up. I might have lost it and started crying to see my baby and think of her in that car..

[anakha]

Got my first car in college - a secondhand Jeep Wrangler-type of vehicle.

My folks's philosophy in getting that type of car was twofold - the hard-as-nails suspension kept my driving speed down, as any sustained speeds of over 80 kph made for a pretty bumpy ride; and that a vehicle that tough would at least offer decent protection in case of an accident.

Just something you might want to keep in mind, should you ever decide to get her another vehicle.

[remingtonbo2001]

2Blonde, I think you've handled this situation as well as any individual could handle it.

I remember when I was rear ended by an 18-wheeler, my parents didn't even come and see my in the emergency room. While they had recieved the call that I had in an accident and was okay (my vitalities checked out), it still would have been nice from the standpoint of support.

I know your rules may appear to be "strict", but they also appear to be in her best interest. I would sincerely try to make that clear to her.

Anyways, kudos on the parenting.

[J.T.]

If my mom GPS'd my car I would have ran away from home when I turned 16. I would have kept riding my bike everywhere if the alternative was to have some prison like a GPS my into your car.

Anyway, one night my dad was driving home, and my dad is the safest driver I have ever met, and he spun out and rolled over two times in his Cadillac... car was totaled, dad hurt his knee but not badly. He was really lucky but knowing him he was driving 15 under the limit and pulled some James Bond to avoid a more severe wreck.

I guess the moral of the story is that bad happens on the highway when the road is wet/slick.

Glad to hear she is safe though, car accidents are not fun. On the bright side maybe your insurance will pay you more than the car was worth since it got totaled. I totaled my piece of Malibu in my first wreck...the wreck was my fault...and the insurance paid us three grand more than we owed on the car.

[BacktoBasics]

I'm totally serious because I haven't figured out what the thing was she was playing with but when you said batteries flying I'm think it was some kind of rabbit or other stimulus device but then you said "she wasn't supposed to use it till so and so" so now I'm confused if you put an age limit on sex toys.

Furthermore I would never ever ever admit fault. She should have just said she slid in the rain and left it at that. You just opened the door for all kinds of additional heartache down the road with the insurance companies. Then you posted on a public forum. I'd ask Kori to remove this thread.

If it were my Son I'd buy back the salvage and have him rebuild the car. Then he might appreciate what it is to respect a vehicle.

[GEICO Caveman]

Taking her eyes off the road when she knew better. Especially when she was driving in the rain. She could have caused the death of a mother, a 4year old child & herself. IMO she didn't lose cotrol of the car because of the rain, she lost control of the car by being distracted and the rain made her recorrecting go awry and start sliding around on the road. The rain was definitely a contributing factor but not the main cause IMO. But I wasn't there to see it happen and the officer didn't issue any citations, so legally I supppose it is considered an accident. That still doesn't make her portion of responsibility just go away though.

I am glad your kid is safe but sad for her if she's been hearing this same from you ever since the wreck. Holding it against someone for mul asking while driving like it's some kind of ing sin for her not to drive like Jesus, Mary and Joseph were in the car with her.

Negligence my ass. What happened to your daughter was just an unfortunate coincidence, don't go on a mother ing witch hunt trying to condemn her for this. Sometimes accidents happen and no one's at fault. She loses points for telling the truth to you though. She could have just said she slid off the road and when she got back on she spun out. That would've saved you and the insurance company some hassle.

[BacktoBasics]

I am glad your kid is safe but sad for her if she's been hearing this same from you ever since the wreck. Holding it against someone for mul asking while driving like it's some kind of ing sin for her not to drive like Jesus, Mary and Joseph were in the car with her.

Negligence my ass. What happened to your daughter was just an unfortunate coincidence, don't go on a mother ing witch hunt trying to condemn her for this. Sometimes accidents happen and no one's at fault. She loses points for telling the truth to you though. She could have just said she slid off the road and when she got back on she spun out. That would've saved you and the insurance company some hassle.

So not paying attention when its raining and driving around like a lackaisical jackass is mearly a coincidnece? Mul asking while driving is pretty much the Cardinal sin behind the wheel.

Either you got me with a quality troll job or you're a complete ing moron. Maybe both.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

No matter how hard you try, you can't stop bad things from happening to your children.

What are you going to do, pull the radio from her car? She did something we've all done countless times and came out unscathed.

It's all luck, IMO.

[Shelly]

Yikes, K! I'm glad everyone is safe and sound. How scary for you and your daughter.

I dread when my kids will start driving. My son is 15-1/2 and doesn't even have his permit yet. He hasn't even asked to get it.

The only thing I have to offer is to get her driving again asap ... only because I think if you don't, she's going to be really afraid to in the future. I think she just learned learned a very important life lesson that she won't soon forget.

FWIW, my neighbor's kid has had his license for a year. In that year, he's had two accidents and a ticket. The last accident was just a few weeks ago, where he hit a pole in a parking lot at a slow speed. The car didn't look bad, but the damage was bad enough that they totaled it. Anyway, she was in the market for a new car to begin with and gave him her truck. Was that the right decision? I don't know, but she works in the med center and he goes to Central Catholic, so it obviously was the best decision for them. (Meaning, that it would probably been a lot of driving for her to get him to school and to work, etc. as we live on the NW side of town)

So my point is, do what you think is best and if you feel she's ready for another car, don't feel guilty about getting her one.

Again, I'm glad everyone is okay!

[BacktoBasics]

I love how this generation of parents allows their kids to up beyond all comprehension...we're talking about the kind of ing up that could cost people their lives and the turn around and justify putting them back in the same dangerous position because its all "luck" or "chance" or just a "normal unfortunate event".

A person damn near killed some people. They shouldn't be behind the wheel any time soon if not until they're 21 and learn to act like a mature responsible person who can handle a 2000 pound death trap.

Justifying the return of a child to an automobile simply because they attend school miles away from where mom works is a complete abortion of common sense.

[Brutalis]

Glad she's alright. Hope she doesn't get sued though..

[Shelly]

Because all 21 year olds and beyond drive responsibly too?

[SpursWoman]

OMG, K ... I'm so glad everyone is going to be okay. I don't think my heart will ever be able to stand my kids driving, I don't know what I'm going to do when the time comes.

If it helps at all .... if my own experience is any indication, she's learned a very valuable, life-long lesson. I had an accident when I was in high school, it wasn't my fault, but it involved a turning lane ... and I still have an illogical fear of them and avoid them whenever I can.

She won't forget. And yeah, I'd get her driving again ... I was pretty scared to drive for a long time after that.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

I love how this generation of parents allows their kids to up beyond all comprehension...we're talking about the kind of ing up that could cost people their lives and the turn around and justify putting them back in the same dangerous position because its all "luck" or "chance" or just a "normal unfortunate event".

A person damn near killed some people. They shouldn't be behind the wheel any time soon if not until they're 21 and learn to act like a mature responsible person who can handle a 2000 pound death trap.

Justifying the return of a child to an automobile simply because they attend school miles away from where mom works is a complete abortion of common sense.

So, how much driving experience would she gain by not driving for 4-5 years?

[BacktoBasics]

Because all 21 year olds and beyond drive responsibly too?

No I simply picked a number that allows for a very large buffer zone between now and then.

I truely don't think we should be handing out driving licenses to 16 year old kids. Maybe 18....maybe even 21 I don't know. I do know that getting training and a license once shouldn't allow you to spend your entire life never retraining again.

It should be a requirement that every 2-3 years upon renewal you take a 48 hour refresher course in offensive and defensive driving.

Driving offenses have to be the least punishable crimes this country has to offer. We take ty driving way too lightly.

oh you almost killed someone...heres a ticket don't do that again. Oh it was an accident....well give me that ticket back and be more careful. Good luck and have a jolly day

[BacktoBasics]

So, how much driving experience would she gain by not driving for 4-5 years?

Ok I see what your saying. I'll retract. She should not be behind the wheel without adult supervision on the clearest of nicest days and yeah she should have her phone and radio yanked from the vehicle until its determined after a year or more's time that she's matured beyond a reasonable doubt.

She probably shouldn't be driving until she's completed some additional written courses in driving safety.

[Shelly]

I would have no problem with the driving age starting at 18. I don't know if it still is, but when we lived in Luxembourg, you had to be 18 before you could drive.

But the point is, no matter what the age, we all get distracted. It could be changing the radio station (which we are all guilty of!), chatting with a passenger in the car, or a screaming baby in the backseat.

[BacktoBasics]

I would have no problem with the driving age starting at 18. I don't know if it still is, but when we lived in Luxembourg, you had to be 18 before you could drive.

But the point is, no matter what the age, we all get distracted. It could be changing the radio station (which we are all guilty of!), chatting with a passenger in the car, or a screaming baby in the backseat.

I totally agree. I've been in accidents where I was distracted. We all take the responsibility of driving way too lightly.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Italy is 18 as well, but you can drive a Vespa or Oppi at 14.

[1369]

My best friend is visiting me from Alabama until Sunday so she helped me with a Teacher Appreciation Luncheon today at SVHS and then we headed out for a fun day shopping. We hit Rustic imports and Soma Intimates for some sexy bras and then on to Vickie's Secret for more sexy bras. We had our arms piled high and went to the front to ask for dressing rooms when my phone rang. It was a number I didn't know. I answered to find my beautiful daughter crying on the other end and saying "Mom, I just had a really back wreck."

She was driving west on Borgfeld Rd. and about 1 1/2 miles west of 281 she got distracted for a second and with the slick roads from the rain the two passenger-side tires of her car slid of the road into the gravel. She jerks back on to the road and between overcompensating and the wet roads her car slid across into the east bound lane. she was left front end facing south and got T-Boned by a poor lady and her 4 year old daughter. Both cars were totaled and she and the other passengers were all transported to the hospital.

I am thanking God tonight that everyone survived the accident. The little girl walked away without a scratch, the Mom had some pain from the front airbag but should be fine and my daughter has some neck problems ( some that were from an earlier injury and some from this one that are going to require a visit to a neurosurgeon ( with the possibility of surgery down the road) and extensive Physical rehabilitation for her neck. She had some bumps, bruises and abrasions and a bad case of total body whiplash but she and everyone else are all going to be fine.

It will be a while before we buy her a another car. First she has to pay a 1,000 deductible and then we are not going to get a new car for a while until we are sure she gets the gravity of the devastation she could have/did cause by looking away from the road for 1 second. She is going to hate going back to being shuttled around by me & my husband but at least she's alive to be shuttled around.

What are your thoughts? How do think you would feel if it were your child driving. I'm NOT looking for advice, my husband and I have that totally covered. I'm just curious what you might do if the person you were responsible/cared for created such a large scale potentially deadly situation for her/himself through what I consider negligence. Obviously our first thoughts were for her safety, making sure we got to her quickly (threw the bras at the Victoria's Secret girl and ran out of store), supporting her, getting the proper medical attention. and thanking GOD for not taking away my baby.

What would your's be???

Wow, that stretch around Borgfield is an accident magnet. Glad to hear everyone made it through relatively unscathed.

I have to say I like the idea of making your daughter responsible for the $1K deductible. I think that will drive the gravity of her responsibility home better than anything else.

Now, let's talk about the unmentionables you and your friend bought from Soma Intimates......