Reply With Quote
OH Gee!!
It seems like the lot of you can't understand why a person of reasonable intelligence would be willing to support John McCain and Sarah Palin in the race for the presidency. Well, like most Americans, I'm pretty darn smart and I've got a great bull detector, so I'll explain to you liberal, coast-dwelling elitists just what appeals to me about John and Sarah.
Reminder, Liberals: John McCain is a War Hero
John fought valiantly in World War II and was captured by the Japanese. Did he give up? no! He toughed it out for five years and then came back to America with the determination and grit to find a younger, hotter wife. And John isn't going to deal with any "political correctness" bull about those Koreans who tortured him, which is why he was still calling them "gooks" in the 2000 primaries. Suck on that, reverse racism!
John McCain's Backbone Is Tougher than Steel
Hey lefties, do you remember when John stood up to the President and passed that anti-torture bill? No, of course not, you were probably too busy redistributing my hard-earned tax dollars to drug dealers and baby-murdering "family planning clinics." Well guess what, you cretins, John stood up to the President of the U.S.A. and that was the end of that. A weak-willed hypocrite would have later reversed himself and supported George's veto of anti-torture legislation, but not John Sidney Backbone McCain!
John McCain Is a Cool-Tempered Man of Sound Judgment
Let me paint you a picture: January 2002, John McCain stands on an aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea. He yells out to the sailors below, "Next up, Baghdad!" While Barack was still "community organizing," John was taking the fight to Muslim extremist and despotic strongman Saddam Bin Laden, not to mention the unholy alliance of Iraq, Al Qaeda, and Kim Jong Ill (who probably tortured McCain when he was a prisoner at the Hanoi Hilton in China). If Barack were in charge we'd all be speaking German now, and probably Arabic too. And Spanish. Never forget, America.
John McCain's Razor Wit Is Sharper than Sarah Palin's Tongue
In a democracy like ours, the President has to given long, boring speeches like the State of the Union Address. If the President can throw in a few hilarious zingers, we're less likely to get drunk and pass out within the first half hour of the performance. Well, John McCain's just the man for that job. Exhibit A: "For a guy whose 'official seal' carried the motto, 'Yes, we can,' Senator Obama's agenda sure has a ... whole lot of 'No, we can't.'" Boom! If you smell something burning, it's just the few smoldering ashes of Barack's dignity left after that scorching barb.
Sarah Palin Is the Hottest Grandmother on This Side of the Mason-Dixon Line
She's smoking. Anybody who says otherwise is a sexist who hates moms, and probably a reverse-racist too. Think about it: when McCain is keeping us entertained with gut-busting quips during the State of the Union, do you want some crusty long-hair like Joe Biden sitting behind him mumbling about organic tofu or Amtrak? Yeah, I thought so. Yet another example of John McCain's good judgment: the VP's job is to stand next to the President during important speeches, and who better to do that than Sarah?
Sarah Palin Eats Mooseburgers
Oh, I'm sorry, did you think that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is going to be intimidated by a deadbeat "community organizer"? Yeah, right. In case you sushi-eaters forgot, Mahmoud is like Saddamn Bin Laden, but with even more weapons of mass destruction, plus nukes. Picture this, Dems: hot grandmother kills and field-dresses a moose in front of Mahmoud and then eats the moose's flesh while he sweats bullets. Now he knows we mean business and that you don't mess with America. Thank God we didn't make Biden VP.
McCain/Palin: Christmas for Freedom
There are at least a million people in the world who need freedom, and only America, the Clint Eastwood of nations, is going to give it to them. We need to kick ass and take names in Iran, North Korea, Russia, Cuba, and East Germany (that's where President Putin lives, if you need a lesson in geopolitics). Barack, true to form as a lifelong "community organizer," would probably talk to them and then agree on a plan to reach a compromise mutually beneficial to both nations or some other garbage. Wrong move, idiots! John McCain would shove his foot so far up their collective ass that they'll be begging him for freedom fries. But there won't be any, because Sarah will have eaten them all with her mooseburgers.
OH Gee!!
No wonder, you have a mullet.
Hey if Biden can do it, why can't I?
fixed.
Cue the Biden jokes...
(edit: all too predictable, huh ^)
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
