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No joke. Why can't all guys be like us?
Its sad to have to put up with this . Well sad then angering.
No joke. Why can't all guys be like us?
That is EXACTLY how I see education, and exactly what I will be teaching my two boys.Let me preface this with the obvious fact that this dude and I don't get along well. He's neanderthal (sup Manny) like in the way he does things. Plus I don't think he's a very good father to these girls in the first place. He's military so that explains much of it. I know some people don't like to hear it but Military people are so finite in the way they think. It always has to be simple and obvious for things to be accomplished. I'm not saying thats how all military people are but breaking down the man to build the soldier is apparent in so many of them.
First and foremost I don't appreciate people showing up where I work to discuss personal issues but I didn't blow up about it. bag wants to talk to me outside so we step out.
bag: I don't want you to ever tell my girls they don't have to go to college? What kind of irresponsible is this.
Me: I love how you have the entire story straight. I never said not to go to college I simply said that they shouldn't go for the sake of going. The oldest asked me if she had to go like she does HS and Middle School and I told her the truth and thats college is an option. She'll have the choice to go.
bag: :stupid ing pissed off look:
Me: Furthermore I sat down with both of them and explained candidly that society has turned college into some kind of must have form of higher education so now we're stuck with millions of kids taking it for granted. The idea at this point is to allow these kids world to grow through High School. This way by the time they reach their Senior year they have 4 or 5 potential careers on a short list. This way if one of them decides to follow a dream of being a....
Chef: We'll line up Culinary School and rather than pay 80k for a worthless College degree we can concentrate the schooling on the craft and a take out a signature loan to start a business. It'll be cheaper than sending them to Texas or Baylor or wherever.
Photographer: We'll line up Photography school and narrow down a list of options like. Weddings, special events, family portrait and again pull out a loan to line up a business.
Accountant: We can once again arrange for a particular college and a plan of action to accomplish this. Then we can hopefully set up an intern job to prepare her to either work for someone or herself.
You see I'm not ruling out college I'm saying that there is a right way to go and a wrong way. If there is specialty schooling available then thats the right path to take. Why waste so much time and MONEY pissing away two years in some mid level school trying to decide who and what you want to be when you can narrow it down and prepare them now. This way money and time isn't wasted its utilized to execute a path that gives these girls the highest percentage of success.
If you cram going to college down their throats they'll resent it and its likely to stiffle their ability to rationally think of who and what they want to become because its another 4 or 5 years of schooling ahead. Getting education on something isn't so bad when you're doing it because you want to accomplish something specific. The world isn't as small and restrictive as it once was.
DB: I just don't agree with this at all. These kids need an education.
Me:go ahead and tell them whatever you want to tell them. I'm not saying they don't need schooling all I'm saying is that they should be smarter about it. Its your relationship to strain do whatever you want. Its not as if you're going to pay for their tuition in the first place.
DB: I'm capable of paying.
Me: Good I hope so because its expensive.
and oh since you're so capable I expect you to reimburse me a good 300 bucks for half the girls school clothes and the youngest ones glasses. You know as well as I do those expenses are outlined clearly in the divorce papers. I got to get back to work Don't show up at my work again.
DB: we'll finish this later.
/end/
I'll assume there are others who don't see it my way.
I started college at age 26, and so many of my 19 year old classmates were there for ONE reason: Their parents made them go, and were paying for it.
They didn't have a clue what they wanted to be or do, and were, as I was at that age, more interested in partying and getting laid than school. It showed in every class and every test.
The same was just as true in the undergrad courses I had to take for my masters. Full of kids who did not have clue one.
Colleges have become degree mills, and often ill serve their students by just giving them an education without context or really asking the kids what they want to do before letting them pick.
Most of my friends from high school that went straight to college ended up getting some support from their parents while they were in classes, but none of the loans are in their parents' names and they are paying them off themselves - it has made some of them regret going to private and/or out of state schools when they found out later that they need a graduate degree. I was admittedly a little pissed off that I ended up at my safety school, but it has worked out in my favor in the long run. I'm glad that I can take out loans to get a masters in the program of my choice.
It's something else to think about when deciding where and when to go to school. With so many people going into graduate programs now, there's no guarantee that you'll get a lot of scholarship and grant help - they save that help for the PhD students with the philosophy that a masters is really a professional degree as opposed to the purely academic/research nature of the doctorate.
This is true. I made 50k at age 23 while some of my friends worked at the mall, "taking a break, deciding what to do". I've now paid at least 10yrs more into my retirement than they have. And I will not not be working until age 65 like they will. And I love my profession.of course, having a college degree in your back pocket at the ripe old age of 21 or 22 while others are still trying to figure out what they want to do isn't bad either...
Sounds about right...
What do you do?
It isn't by chance the world's oldest profession is it? j/k
Whatever you do, don't get a liberal arts degree unless you wanna teach or do research. Mine has been gathering dust for 9 years. And it's not about a degree for jobs anyway, it's who you know, who they know, and how high up who you know knows is.
100% agree, got a cousin who gets a new job every couple of years from people he knows and is making tons of money at his newest job without a degree. the dude's only 25.
Yes, look at Manny, he is 43 and still going to college. First, he was going to an environmental scientist, then a politician, now he thinks he is ing weatherman. After 22 years of school he is still deciding.
While I completely understand your frustration with the father (believe me-- I understand entirely too well) I would suggest in the future that the discussions about issues such as these be between the kids' mother and the dad- not you. It really is "her job" to handle these things with him. I deal with way too much crap with my child's father, but I am the one to do it. It is my responsibility and avoids the situation of pitting biological parent vs step parent.
A little sarcastic don't you think? Doesn't a couple of semesters in community college count for something? Dude's on his way.
oi B2B
if ur thinkn of sending ur children to college, there is a shortcut around it and way n cheaper....get ur children to do some course thats alternative to college, but the standard of education is equivalent and internship on the side, then apply for college, you get unit credits..therefore you only have to do like half of the subjects to get the degree, then you can move urself up for high qualification education if needed.
Almost like mine:I didn't marry a military guy. I married the former wife of a military guy.
Let me break it down for you in Military terms.
My Wife
Military guy
= married back in the day with two girls
They split
Me
My wife: who was once married to military guy
= married we have the girls
Military guy = bitter bag who thinks backwards and hates me.
Me
Backwoods/ Dumbass/ Gym teacher/ Coach
= married back in the day with one girl
We split
Me
My new awesome Military guy
= married we have girl living with us.
Backwoods/ Dumbass/ Gym teacher/ Coach Guy= bitter bag who thinks backwards and hates me & my awesome husband.
* BTW you're right about him straining their relationship. My daughter, by her own decision, hasn't seen or spoken to her bio-dad in over 3 years.
Holy crap, that's old. I got out when I was 33.
I'm 43
Sweet.
I feel older than I am I times but who knew I actually was?
It's almost as enjoyable! I'm a nurse, I have a BSN. On a child raising hiatus at the moment.
College? Who needs high school.
Good for her. I haven't seen my mom in over a year, and never want to. Some things you just can't fix, and that's one of them.
I think you're right. As many friends as I have in this same situation, some of whom I've known 20+ years, the kids always fare better without interference from step parent. The absolute worst disasters are when the step parent assumes too much responsibility; but on second thought--that only happens when the biological parent defers their responsibility to the step parent. Granted this asshat went to B2B's job and that is totally uncool, but B2B stayed in control and informed him not to show up there ever again. Now wife needs to reinforce this to the jerk and make sure he understands that she is the first line of communication for anything involving the children.
Under most normal cir stances I would advise that step parents see their way out and let the bio's handle the kids. Thats exactly what I did for the first year and half almost two years.
I kept waking up telling myself. Self if you continue to let this dip mislead his girls and if you continue to let other people care for these kids problems you're allowing these kids to be set up for failure right before your own eyes. I was tired of waking up feeling like I was the guy driving by a car wreck without stopping. I couldn't live with myself if these kids grew up to be failures because of a broken home. So I stepped in and started leading the way. Its not as if the Father ever played a huge role in their lives. They'd see him twice a year until he started to see that I was more of a Dad than he was. This is why after trying for a year he finally found a way to move and serve in the same town as us. Its wasn't so much for the kids but more to show me up, which he's failed miserably at.
I'm not going to stand by and watch this bag up their lives for his precious ego. So far they're receptive to me because they know I'm putting them first. Hopefully they thank me later. I've never suggested that they don't have a close relationship with their dad I've just made sure to point out a better way to do things and the flaws in his logic. This way they can see its not a personal attack on their dad but more of an opportunity to make better choices because they have options.
How old is your daughter ?
Oh they absolutely will!! Kids are really smart, they always figure out what's what when it comes to their parents.
I dont know......college opened many doors for me. There is no way I could have been in management at my company without a degree.
Also, I dont think I would want say a lawyer, or doctor, dentist or engineer doing for me without a degree to show they are well educated in their field. About the ONLY field I can see you dont really need a degree in is business. Anyone can run a business IMHO.
*shrugs*
I'm going to say it again.
I'm not saying don't get a degree. All I'm saying is to be smart about it. If you want to be a chef I would formulate a plan that leds you in the right direction. I wouldn't suggest a degree from UTSA. There are better ways.
If you're going to be a dentist or doctor I would hope you'd be smart enough to get the appropriate degree to do so and from an appropriate school.
I'm specifically saying to be more intelligent about your education not to avoid it. The part about not going to school was me simply telling the kids that it was an option not a requirement.
I'm not an advocate for passing on higher education I'm an advocate for better planning.
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