Need relationship advice

[LnGrrrR]

The guy was talking crap about me to her and her friends (who told me what was saying) and then he was trying to get her to spend more time with him. When I would show up to hang out and be with my girl, he would get up and say "Oh great, gotta go then. Bye -insert my girl name-"

It's an old trick. He was hurting our relationship and belittling me. Everyone thought the same. I asked her to stop seeing him, and the first thing she did was go tell him what I said and then hang out again.

Yeah, that hurts.

The second thing she did was sit on another guy's lap while talking to me on the phone. She said she was going to look for a picture to show me, but instead, she was talking to some guy and play fighting with him. Didn't even tell me, was doing it behind my back.

That hurts too.

Really?

Realllllly?

Dude, that's not a "trick". That's him leaving his friend, because you're the boyfriend and he probably didn't want to watch you two suck face. And if it's her friend, then is it understandable why she wanted to hang out with him again?

And she sat on a guy's lap? Ok, not the GREATEST of things to find out, but certainly not some sort of devastating info, whereby all us board posters are going to say, "SHE DID WHAT?!!? THE HARLOT!"

Here's a reality check for you MiamiHeat: everyone lies. They even lie to people they love. And sometimes, when they're lying, they do bad things. The question isn't whether or not they do it. It's A) how bad/often do they do it and B) how much are you willing to take?

[jack sommerset]

If she lost your trust, there's no point in being together. How long are you going to wait to make her gain it back?

Maybe she's depressed because, 6 years after the fact, you're still bringing up the fact you don't trust her over a ING PIZZA.

This can't be real! I do have an opinion about high school sweeties staying togther. They never seem to grow up, more often then not. This one couple I know have been together since they were 15. The stupid ass they argue about reminds me of this guy's story. BREAK UP ALREADY. Seriously what are the chances you hook up with someone in high school and you actually have that much in common 5-10-15 years later. It happens once in blue moon. My parents divorce when I was 5. That was over 30 years ago. Both are good people but never in my wildest dreams could I see them as a couple let alone a married couple. They are completly different.

This whole talk about "my heart" is ing LAME. Something a child would say and he brings it up over a pizza. That house must be insane. This guy is trying to make her feel like he has honest reasons to feel this way about his heart and all and she has to try her best to take him serious. He is laying down a major guilt trip on her and making her feel bad about something she did 6 years ago. That is ing whack. If this dude really cared about her and I am dead serious he would break up with her. Not talk to her. Let her go. Move on with her life. Perhaps he will grow up. Could you imagine the next girlfriend he gets and brings up his ing heart over a pizza or if she had guy friends! . That right there is a high school mentality. No guy friends. This guy has to be insecure on one of the highest levels. HAHAHAHAHA

[LnGrrrR]

That's not TRUE AT ALL. I asked her MANY TIMES over the years, "Damn we spend too much time together, do you want to spend a little less time together?"

and she would be sad I even ASKED.

You got it all wrong, man.

She might be a little messed up in the head too. Threatening to kill yourself is someone is about to leave you is not a sign of strong mental health, after all.

[angel_luv]

You have great points, but she was the one who started this whole spending all of our time together. I enjoy it too, but I used to ask her, "Do you want to spend less time together and go do other things?" and she said no. She loves being with me and it makes her happy. The only thing she wanted in life is to be with me and build a life together.

I got used to it.

But yeah, I am ready to completely forgive and just trust her again, I told her this. But she is just sad.

What do I do

I think your girlfriend ( wife?) has spent so much of her life trying to please you ( and I am not saying this is all your fault) that she has no clue what she wants or likes.

You've known her a long time- what is your gf good at? what does she enjoy?

Your girlfriend needs to build some self esteem. Take every opportunity you can to praise and compliment her. Do not do this insincerely. It will get old for you and will not help her.
When your wife looks pretty tell her specifically what you like about her outfit, hair or makeup.
When she makes you dinner, thank her.
Ask about her job. Ask for her input regarding things you are contemplating.

If your gf has a hobby, encourage her pursuit of it. If (for example) she likes to paint- buy her art supplies as a no - occasion present. Ask her if she would like to enroll in an art class. Make it a point to hang up some of her paintings in your home and or/ office.

In short, make it clear to your gf that she matters to you.

Talk is cheap. If you love her, show her.

Here is a great idea. Buy this book and YOU follow it in regards to your gf. I bet you get great results.

http://thelovedarebook.com/

I wish you and your gf all the best.

[I. Hustle]

I was that other guy. We were play fighting because she gave me wood while she wiggled on my lap. She loves you though dude. She even asked if she could yell your name out while I gave it to her. I said sure because I am sensitive and understanding but once we got going she said it was impossible to pretend like I was you because I was a lot bigger. She does love you though dude.

[MiamiHeat]

Really?

Realllllly?

Dude, that's not a "trick". That's him leaving his friend, because you're the boyfriend and he probably didn't want to watch you two suck face. And if it's her friend, then is it understandable why she wanted to hang out with him again?

And she sat on a guy's lap? Ok, not the GREATEST of things to find out, but certainly not some sort of devastating info, whereby all us board posters are going to say, "SHE DID WHAT?!!? THE HARLOT!"

Here's a reality check for you MiamiHeat: everyone lies. They even lie to people they love. And sometimes, when they're lying, they do bad things. The question isn't whether or not they do it. It's A) how bad/often do they do it and B) how much are you willing to take?

I don't.

[katyon6th]

The guy was talking crap about me to her and her friends (who told me what was saying) and then he was trying to get her to spend more time with him. When I would show up to hang out and be with my girl, he would get up and say "Oh great, gotta go then. Bye -insert my girl name-"

It's an old trick. He was hurting our relationship and belittling me. Everyone thought the same. I asked her to stop seeing him, and the first thing she did was go tell him what I said and then hang out again.

Yeah, that hurts.

The second thing she did was sit on another guy's lap while talking to me on the phone. She said she was going to look for a picture to show me, but instead, she was talking to some guy and play fighting with him. Didn't even tell me, was doing it behind my back. While she was 'looking for the picture', she was instead play fighting with this guy behind my back, didn't even mention she was hanging out with him, and was sitting on his lap.

That hurts too.

Grow the up!

And let her go. Now. She feels empty because you can no longer give her what she needs.

[MiamiHeat]

I think your girlfriend ( wife?) has spent so much of her life trying to please you ( and I am not saying this is all your fault) that she has no clue what she wants or likes.

You've known her a long time- what is your gf good at? what does she enjoy?

Your girlfriend needs to build some self esteem. Take every opportunity you can to praise and compliment her. Do not do this insincerely. It will get old for you and will not help her.
When your wife looks pretty tell her specifically what you like about her outfit, hair or makeup.
When she makes you dinner, thank her.
Ask about her job. Ask for her input regarding things you are contemplating.

If your gf has a hobby, encourage her pursuit of it. If (for example) she likes to paint- buy her art supplies as a no - occasion present. Ask her if she would like to enroll in an art class. Make it a point to hang her up some of her paintings in your home and or/ office.

In short, make it clear to your gf that she matters to you.

Talk is cheap. If you love her, show her.

Here is a great idea. Buy this book and YOU follow it in regards to your gf. I bet you get great results.

http://thelovedarebook.com/

I wish you and your gf all the best.

She loves drawing and is studying to be an artist, computer animation. Her father pressured her into being a doctor like he is, and she asked for my opinion. I asked her what is her passion in life? She said art, she loves drawing and all that. I told her that's what she should do.

[LnGrrrR]

Your girlfriend needs to build some self esteem. Take every opportunity you can to praise and compliment her. Do not do this insincerely. It will get old for you and will not help her.
When your wife looks pretty tell her specifically what you like about her outfit, hair or makeup.
When she makes you dinner, thank her.
Ask about her job. Ask for her input regarding things you are contemplating.

If your gf has a hobby, encourage her pursuit of it. If (for example) she likes to paint- buy her art supplies as a no - occasion present. Ask her if she would like to enroll in an art class. Make it a point to hang her up some of her paintings in your home and or/ office.

In short, make it clear to your gf that she matters to you.

Talk is cheap. If you love her, show her.

Here is a great idea. Buy this book and YOU follow it in regards to your gf. I bet you get great results.

http://thelovedarebook.com/

I wish you and your gf all the best.

Wow... ther'es a book that tells you this stuff? I would figure it's pretty f'ing obvious, even for a heathen like me.

Shoot, I buy flowers for my wife for no reason at times. I mean, it helps to remind her why she chose me over all the other guys out there.

I've tried to get my wife a hobby, (forgive the expression) good lord knows I've tried, but nothing has stuck. I keep trying though... it means extra video game time alone for me.

[MiamiHeat]

I think your girlfriend ( wife?) has spent so much of her life trying to please you ( and I am not saying this is all your fault) that she has no clue what she wants or likes.

You've known her a long time- what is your gf good at? what does she enjoy?

Your girlfriend needs to build some self esteem. Take every opportunity you can to praise and compliment her. Do not do this insincerely. It will get old for you and will not help her.
When your wife looks pretty tell her specifically what you like about her outfit, hair or makeup.
When she makes you dinner, thank her.
Ask about her job. Ask for her input regarding things you are contemplating.

If your gf has a hobby, encourage her pursuit of it. If (for example) she likes to paint- buy her art supplies as a no - occasion present. Ask her if she would like to enroll in an art class. Make it a point to hang her up some of her paintings in your home and or/ office.

In short, make it clear to your gf that she matters to you.

Talk is cheap. If you love her, show her.

Here is a great idea. Buy this book and YOU follow it in regards to your gf. I bet you get great results.

http://thelovedarebook.com/

I wish you and your gf all the best.

I am appreciative of everything. I say thank you, i appreciate you.

"Love, can you tell me the time please?" "Thank you"


I think it's like I've been told, she is just sad and needs time because it affected her so much. I really have to stop overreacting and completely trust her again.

[I. Hustle]

You've known her a long time- what is your gf good at? what does she enjoy?

If your gf has a hobby, encourage her pursuit of it. If (for example) she likes to paint- buy her art supplies as a no - occasion present. Ask her if she would like to enroll in an art class. Make it a point to hang her up some of her paintings in your home and or/ office.

We know she likes to warm up pizza. Maybe he should get her one of these.

[LnGrrrR]

I don't.

Yes, you do. And , if you're not, maybe you should be. Maybe when your wife s up next time, you could say, "Hey, no big deal" instead of "Well this is another reminder of why I can't trust you."

[angel_luv]

I edited my post. DO NOT HANG her! Hang up her art ONLY!

That was a really bad typo I originally made!

[MiamiHeat]

When -I- ask time to go do something else, like play a video game or something, do you know what she does? She just sits next to me and wants to watch me and participate with me. SHE is the one who decided for herself. We decide EVERYTHING -TOGETHER-

When I want time for myself, I ask her, and she doesn't even do anything on her own. She just wants to be with me. ALL. THE. TIME. This is not my doing, I am not some psyco control guy. I talk about everything with her. My only mistake has been overreacting all these years because of the trust problem. That's it. and it finally got to her and now she's sad.

[LnGrrrR]

I am appreciative of everything. I say thank you, i appreciate you.

"Love, can you tell me the time please?" "Thank you"


I think it's like I've been told, she is just sad and needs time because it affected her so much. I really have to stop overreacting and completely trust her again.

That's not showing appreciation. That's just saying thank you.

Appreciation would be like, making dinner for her for no reason. , even making a sandwich with a kind note in the fridge. Getting her flowers. Taking her out to eat at a fancy place on a Tuesday. Getting her a dress for said fancy place. Massaging her feet. Cleaning the dishes. Renting her favorite movie even if you hate it.

That's appreciation.

[LnGrrrR]

I edited my post. DO NOT HANG her! Hang up her art ONLY!

That was a really bad typo I originally made!

[I. Hustle]

When -I- ask time to go do something else, like play a video game or something, do you know what she does? She just sits next to me and wants to watch me and participate with me. SHE is the one who decided for herself. We decide EVERYTHING -TOGETHER-

When I want time for myself, I ask her, and she doesn't even do anything on her own. She just wants to be with me. ALL. THE. TIME. This is not my doing, I am not some psyco control guy. I talk about everything with her. My only mistake has been overreacting all these years because of the trust problem. That's it. and it finally got to her and now she's sad.

Maybe she needs new batteries for her rascal.

[angel_luv]

Wow... ther'es a book that tells you this stuff? I would figure it's pretty f'ing obvious, even for a heathen like me.

Shoot, I buy flowers for my wife for no reason at times. I mean, it helps to remind her why she chose me over all the other guys out there.

I've tried to get my wife a hobby, (forgive the expression) good lord knows I've tried, but nothing has stuck. I keep trying though... it means extra video game time alone for me.

It sounds like your wife is blessed to have you. Good man!

If I wasn't married to the best husband ever, I'd have good reason to think you might be him.

[I. Hustle]

That's not showing appreciation. That's just saying thank you.

Appreciation would be like, making dinner for her for no reason. , even making a sandwich with a kind note in the fridge. Getting her flowers. Taking her out to eat at a fancy place on a Tuesday. Getting her a dress for said fancy place. Massaging her feet. Cleaning the dishes. Renting her favorite movie even if you hate it.

That's appreciation.

I do that and I'm a moron. This guy thinks saying thank you is romantic and appreciative?!

[MiamiHeat]

That's not showing appreciation. That's just saying thank you.

Appreciation would be like, making dinner for her for no reason. , even making a sandwich with a kind note in the fridge. Getting her flowers. Taking her out to eat at a fancy place on a Tuesday. Getting her a dress for said fancy place. Massaging her feet. Cleaning the dishes. Renting her favorite movie even if you hate it.

That's appreciation.

I made dinner for her, she said I cook better than the 5 star restaurant we went to. We laughed because of the portion size. I do everything for her, man. We both are caring people.

[mrsmaalox]

We know she likes to warm up pizza. Maybe he should get her one of these.

[angel_luv]

I wish Miami Heat's gf was a Poster here so I could hear her side of the story from her.

[LnGrrrR]

When -I- ask time to go do something else, like play a video game or something, do you know what she does? She just sits next to me and wants to watch me and participate with me. SHE is the one who decided for herself. We decide EVERYTHING -TOGETHER-

When I want time for myself, I ask her, and she doesn't even do anything on her own. She just wants to be with me. ALL. THE. TIME. This is not my doing, I am not some psyco control guy. I talk about everything with her. My only mistake has been overreacting all these years because of the trust problem. That's it. and it finally got to her and now she's sad.

Why don't you get to try playing video games? How about coming up with an activity that you both do solo but together? For instance, if she likes drawing, then you could have a little compe ion to draw the same object.

Also, just because she's deciding something on her own doesn't mean it's necessarily 'healthy'. In fact, it's not. She should WANT to have alone time, and that she doesn't is a red flag.

[Trainwreck2100]

I edited my post. DO NOT HANG her! Hang up her art ONLY!

That was a really bad typo I originally made!

timeout now lets not discount all possibilities

[I. Hustle]

It sounds like your wife is blessed to have you. Good man!

If I wasn't married to the best husband ever, I'd have good reason to think you might be him.

ooooooohhhhhh That sounds like Al is ready to cheat! Don't do it Luv you just got married! Give it two more weeks!