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  1. #1
    Believe. Parker2112's Avatar
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    http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=573

    A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy mings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

    According to mings’ partner, Sergio Armani, mings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, mings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” mings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. mings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. mings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

    A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.

  2. #2
    I don't really care... Yonivore's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Believe. Parker2112's Avatar
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    If your into uniforms and rough stuff, I guess it dont get no better than getting a handjob followed immediately by getting slammed and cuffed.

  4. #4
    Cogito Ergo Sum LnGrrrR's Avatar
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    Sounds like BS to me. Why would a TS agent want to fondle piercings?

  5. #5
    Believe. The_Worlds_finest's Avatar
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    mings?

  6. #6
    e^(i*pi) + 1 = 0 MannyIsGod's Avatar
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    This has to be bull but if true then the TSA is out of their ing mind. There are wives across the world who wish their husbands could last longer but the TSA expects people to control an involuntary reflex?

  7. #7
    Linger Ficking Good! CuckingFunt's Avatar
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    A quick Google search indicates that the only references to this story are coming from the same link in the OP; no AP or anything.

    I'm guessing it's bull based largely on the fact it too perfectly confirms the worst thoughts about both the TSA and gay men. It's a fear two-for-one.

  8. #8
    I don't really care... Yonivore's Avatar
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    A quick Google search indicates that the only references to this story are coming from the same link in the OP; no AP or anything.

    I'm guessing it's bull based largely on the fact it too perfectly confirms the worst thoughts about both the TSA and gay men. It's a fear two-for-one.
    I agree. Anything called "Dead Serious News" has to be a satire site.

  9. #9
    I don't really care... Yonivore's Avatar
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    Y'all should click around that site; pretty funny stuff. Rivals "The Onion," if you ask me. Story under the Business link led something like, "Starbucks Introduces Ghetto Mocha."

  10. #10
    dangerous floater Winehole23's Avatar
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    (reconsidered)

  11. #11
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    yoni would believe it were it reprinted on Fox Nation.

  12. #12
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
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    Yep, that's the part that makes me skeptical of the story.

    *IF* the story is real, I would say this man has a real lawsuit. Very few people can stop themselves from having an orgasm.

  13. #13
    e^(i*pi) + 1 = 0 MannyIsGod's Avatar
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    Yep, that's the part that makes me skeptical of the story.

    *IF* the story is real, I would say this man has a real lawsuit. Very few people can stop themselves from having an orgasm.

  14. #14
    I am that guy RandomGuy's Avatar
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    Very few people can stop themselves from having an orgasm.
    Not.
    Going.
    To.
    Touch.
    That one.




    (HA!)


    So many funny one-liners... erk... must... resist...

  15. #15
    I am not redwood DJ Mbenga's Avatar
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    here is how to solve everything. walk through the scanner with an erection, problem solved.

  16. #16
    right about pizzagate Blake's Avatar
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    I'm guessing it's bull based largely on the fact it too perfectly confirms the worst thoughts about both the TSA and gay men. It's a fear two-for-one.
    That and mings is an interior designer who was in the San Francisco airport.

    I'm suprised he wasn't sporting rainbow pants or a Village People outfit.

  17. #17
    silverblk mystix
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    mings...


    Sergio Armani...


    ...anyone ejaculating during a pat down is subject to arrest...


    Sure, I'll buy it...

  18. #18
    :lol Gio IronMaxipad's Avatar
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    UPDATE:

    http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=603

    WikiLeaks to release Percy mings arrest do ents

    Hours before being place on Interpol’s most wanted list, Julian Assange announced that WikiLeaks was going to release thousands of do ents related to the recent arrest of Percy mings, who is charged with sexually assaulting a TSA agent during a pat-down.
    mings is currently being held in Federal custody without bail. According to Assange, the do ents will identify the alleged victim of the assault, as well as a pattern of official misconduct by him. The leaked do ents state that male TSA agents have reported being sexually harassed by the alleged victim. He is also said to have used his agency seniority to be assigned exclusively to pat-down duty of male passengers. Several of his colleagues have also expressed disdain with the enthusiasm he has shown performing the pat-downs.
    Assange claims that the leaked do ents “will lead to the shut down of the TSA.” Calls and emails to the TSA asking for comment on the release of these do ents have not been returned, however the TSA has stated that they are currently investigating the leak of the Percy mings arrest do ents.
    Citing the imminent demise of the TSA, Assange claims that the incident leading up to mings’ arrest would be “the shot heard around the world.”

  19. #19
    I Aint Got No Job Gutter92's Avatar
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    Is Fox news the source for this?

  20. #20
    All Hail the Legatron The Reckoning's Avatar
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    the dudes last name is mings.

    on now.

  21. #21
    TheDrewShow is salty lefty's Avatar
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    ming ?????

  22. #22
    right about pizzagate Blake's Avatar
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    UPDATE:

    http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=603

    The leaked do ents state that male TSA agents have reported being sexually harassed by the alleged victim. He is also said to have used his agency seniority to be assigned exclusively to pat-down duty of male passengers. Several of his colleagues have also expressed disdain with the enthusiasm he has shown performing the pat-downs.
    This confirms the validity of the story.

  23. #23
    Cogito Ergo Sum LnGrrrR's Avatar
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    C'MON SON!

    Just don't cmon the TSA agents.

  24. #24
    I play pretty, no? TeyshaBlue's Avatar
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    C'MON SON!

    Just don't cmon the TSA agents.

  25. #25
    Motivation for me... Stringer_Bell's Avatar
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    Solid thread. Keep it up! (no pun intended)

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