From one of my fav rags:
http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfa...s_bef.php#more
But before we re-sign our lease, we have a few quick logistical questions. If you have questions of your own, leave them in the comments.
1. Will I need a passport to get into America?
2. Will we get our own dollar with Rick Perry holding a uterus on it?
3. What the is Matthew McConaughey gonna do?
4. Can my gun now carry a gun?
5. Is not wearing the mandatory Texas flag shirt punishable by death, or just life in prison?
6. Is it going to cost 25,000 frequent flier miles to get to Albuquerque now? Ugh.
7. What about the death penalty? Will we only execute re ed people now?
8. Wait, the Mexicans go with America, right? But El Fenix stays?
9. What will we bomb first once we're done with all the Planned Parentoods?
10. Can countries sue other countries? (Guest question sent in from reader
Greg Abbott)
11. Will Tommy Lee Jones dissolve from existence?
12. Is The Voice going to be sub led now?
13. Can I drink in church?
14. Will there be legitimate rape?
15. When I retire, how much should I count on getting in Texas Social Security? If not much, can I self-deport to America?
16. Will I die at the Alamo? What if I don't want to die at the Alamo? Can I self-deport to America?
17. Will state troopers wear coonskin caps? Can I self-deport to America?
18. If Texas is its own country, will I have to learn their language?
19. Can I shoot my kids?
20. Will the Texas Bill of Rights have Viagra?
21. Will there be chicken-fried pasta?
22. I'll still get Showtime, right? If not, can this wait until Homeland is over?
23. Will I have to purchase my own transvaginal probe wand, or will one be provided for me?
24. Is Chuck Norris the VP or the Secretary of Defense? If so, does he need interns?
25. Can we force the IRS to give Willie Nelson his money back?
26. Which denomination will be the official national religion, Southern Baptist or Cowboy Church?
27. As women, I obviously don't understand any of this. Will my husbands explain it to me? Can he also re-explain my vagina to me?
28. Will the only TV shows be Walker, Texas Ranger played on a loop in back-to-back episodes with Touched By An Angel and Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman?
29. We might as well have excessive banjos in the national anthem, right?
30. If I Duck tape a truck bed to the back, can I keep my Prius?
31. Oh! Oh! Can I have one of the windmills when you take them all down? I promise it's not for energy. It's for art.
32. No art? Really? Huh.
33. Will we still have to pick up our dogs' s or can we just shoot the dog s now?
34. Can we bring back mail guys on horseback? That was cool.
35. We can still drink Coors Light though, right?
36. When I have my period, that's the American terrorists winning, right? When I don't have my period, that's also the American terrorists winning, correct?
37. What about rap
You want to know the sad thing? There's a pe ion on whitehouse.gov with over 25,000 signatures on it already to do exactly that - allow the state to secede.
https://pe ions.whitehouse.gov/pet...nment/BmdWCP8B
There are 20+ states with such "sore loser" pe ions, but only Rick Perry's Texas has come close to the 25K signatures required to get an official response from the WH.
hence the topic.
They just love America so much that they don't want to be a part of it anymore.
, especially the one about the Prius
Self Deport!
the picture that goes along with it is the best part.
So when are we going to have the white riots?
An article I read said that people in 20 different states have filed similar pe ions for secession. Similar pe ions were filed from a variety of states after the 2004 and 2008 elections as well. I keep hoping that all of the pe ioners from all the states that are requesting secession would just all get together in one place and take off on boats. I'd pay more in taxes just to get them gone.
Is there such a thing? I always thought riots were a racial thing.
Is anyone besides me old enough to remember the response to the anti-vietnam war protesters that had Posters and bumper stickers that said "My Country - love it or leave it?"
The people holding those signs are the same people pe ioning to secede now.
Are you trying to troll me with stupidity? I know how to make Fuzzy mad: I'll just say the stupidest I can think up. And it's not haha funny. It's just dumb. Punch yourself in the face please.
"anti-vietnam war protesters that had Posters and bumper stickers that said "My Country - love it or leave it?" "
WTF?
it was the Silent Majority/My Country Right Or Wrong crowd telling the anti-war protesters to "love it or leave it", NOT the other way around.
Isn't that what I said? Too many negatives?
LOL...
My response was because of the stupid things you always come up with, troll.
lol. Didn't register with the bot narrative filter.
I've got it. They can have Guantanemo Bay. Secessionists have until December 31, 2013 to move to Gitmo and will receive a 100% refund on income and payroll taxes they paid during the term they were forced to suffer under Obama's presidency. Payment to be made upon proof of Gitmo residency. On January 1, 2014, the U.S. military leaves, leaving the secessionists to enjoy their tropical paradise, free from Obama socialistic opression.
Granted interest in this program may lead to overcrowding at Gitmo, but we can just let the USOFA, that's United State of Obama-Free America, take that up with the Cubans in whatever manner they deem appropriate.
You could do worse than Cuba, tbh.
Perfect!! Let's make it happen!!
Texas is gonna SECEDE, MOTHER ERS!!!!!!
Pssst... secession is illegal. Lol
"anti-vietnam war protesters"
anti-vietnam-war protesters. prostesters against the vietnam war.
u think anyone gives a you coward
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