I can feel your pain. Walk with me for a moment as we share our thoughts: You're a child, your father, a migrant worker from Chihuahua arrives at a small mobile home in West Texas, riding in the back of a farm truck. Your mother, only a chromosome away from being traded for saddle blankets, born in a horse stable in a US Cavalry barn in San Angelo, found by your father at age 12 sucking glue from an old shoe, has just finished rolling out tortillas and has placed a couple on the old stove in the kitchen. You and your brother are pretending to be astronauts inside an old broken down refrigerator in the yard. You see your father arrive and you run to meet him. He calls you "mijo" and you call him "padre". He regales you with tales of cherries, apples, oranges and other delectable fruits that he's picked in his month long tour of the country. He hands you an apple, two bites missing from it. You tear into it and smile and say "gracias padre, como estas?". All the while no one has notices your brother, Chuy Rodriguez Rodriguez Hernandez (actually belonging to another man while your father was in Florida) has stopped making noise, as he's locked inside this space ship. 30 minutes later your mother wonders where Chuy went. She asks you and your face turns almost tan (white would be too far for you), "Chuy was in the space chip" you say. "Mira mira, Chuy, aye ya ya... noooooo" as your mother finds Chuy has found an old jar of picante sauce and has launched into it full force in that refrigerator. Chuy joo ate the last picante sauces, joo thief".
Since then you've been out to stop crime, enrolling in a police academy only to later decide it was too easy for you, so you opted to instead check assholes in a local lockup facility. Now you hate yourself because every day your fingers have a permanent ring of around them, and they reek of latex and and piss and . You think back to days when your father brought you the fruit and long for those days, and you draw a strange parallel to the fruit your father picked and the ass fruit you pick. You have come full circle. Let go.